Over The Hump Jokes
129 over the hump jokes and hilarious over the hump puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about over the hump that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Over The Hump Short Jokes
Short over the hump jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The over the hump humour may include short over the hill jokes also.
- What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement? A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.
- Which camel is more frisky, the Bactrian camel or the Dromedary? The Bactrian camel, because it has two humps every day, while the Dromedary gets by with only one.
- What do you call a camel with three humps Pregnant!
My 6 year old daughter caught us off guard with this one tonight lol - There are two types of dog owners One of them yells at their dog when it humps their leg, the other one adjusts their leg.
- How do you call a camel with 3 humps? With empathy, compassion, and honesty. Cancer is hard news, even for a camel.
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Over The Hump One Liners
Which over the hump one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with over the hump? I can suggest the ones about over the edge and over the hedge.
- What do you call a camel with 3 humps? Pregnant.
- My 5 year olds goto joke: What do you call a camel with 3 humps? Pregnant.
- I'am So Ugly..... That when my dog humps my leg, he closest his eyes and looks away.
- Is that shirt (those pants) mad of camel skin? (No, why?) Cause I noticed the humps!
- What is a camel's favorite song? My humps :black eyed peas
- If you h**... a whale, does it humpback?
- How do camels have s**... in the desert? They dry h**....
- Why did the man go to prison for h**... a road? s**... Asphalt Charges.
- What do you call a promiscuous egg? h**...-me Dumped-me
- What do you call it when someone's h**... nothing? Ghostbusting
- What kind of s**... act does a Camel like? Dry h**...
- How is a lesbian like a camel? Their h**... has no bone.
- What do you call two nerds dry h**... on the couch? Science friction.
- That's the thing about h**... mimes.... You never hear them coming.
- How do know you are ugly? Your dog keeps it's eyes closed whilst h**... your leg
Over The Hump Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about over the hump you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean over the limit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make over the hump pranks.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the h**.... As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his cigarette pack. "I found them in the hallway. Now, if only I could find my sweet little hamster."
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself.
He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the h**....
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''
''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."
"Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"
"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son.
After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?"
The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods."
"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?"
"What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't h**... women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
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Girl, if you were a camel, I'd h**... you!
Baby camel talking to daddy camel
"Dad, why have we got these humps?"
"Well, my son, we are the ships of the desert, we fill them up with water and can walk for hundreds of miles across the desert wastes"
"Dad, Why have we got big feet?"
"Well son, we are kings of the desert, but the desert sand are soft and treacherous, and we need wide feet to avoid sinking as we labor across the dunes"
"Dad, why have we got thick coats?"
"Well, my son, it is bitterly cold at night in the deserts, and we need thick coats to protect us from biting wind and fierce sandstorms"
"Dad...?"
"Yes son..?"
"Why do we live in the New York Zoo?"
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two dogs at the vet
A great dane and a poodle are in nearby kennels at a vet's office.
Poodle: "I get overly excited and pee on the floor when my owner comes home. His evil wife is having me put to sleep. What are you in for?"
Dane: "That's too bad. I got way too excited when my owner started doing Bikram yoga. I couldn't help it...I started h**... her like crazy."
Poodle: "So is she putting you down too?"
Dane: "Naw, I'm just getting my nails done."
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A dog walks into the vet's office
A dog walks into the vet's office and he meets another dog. This other dog looks petrified. The first dog says, "Hey pal, what's the matter?"
The second dog says, "I can't stop h**... things. I h**... the sofa. I h**... the pillows. I can't help myself. The final straw came when I h**... a guest's leg. I'm here to get neutered."
The first dog says, "I have a similar problem. The other night my master's wife was wearing a short robe and when she bent over to take her slippers off, I mounted her and started h**... her."
The second dog frowns and says, "I guess you're here to get neutered too."
The first dog winks and says, "Nah, just getting my nails clipped."
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Whales
A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...
He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large h**... on his back.
She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed h**... herself.
Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.
Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.
Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!
He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...
As she swam off she said..."I'll h**..., I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T s**... s**...!
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A poor couple...
A poor couple try their best to make ends meet. Times were hard, and there were days when the couple couldn't afford to eat. To curb their hunger, the couple would have s**....
One evening, the husband comes home from work and finds his wife h**... the arm rest of the couch. Perplexed, the husband asks what she was doing. The wife responds, "nothing, just heating up your dinner."
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A german, a frenchman, and a greek c**... in the amazon
A german, a frenchman, and a greek are on a plane. The plane crashes in the amazon. They meet the natives and they say "don't kill us" and the amazonians say "We will not kill you, but you have to do something. You have to spend 10 years in a cave. We will fill the cave up with all the provisions you need and whatever you want."
They ask the german what he wants. He says "I want bratwurst. I want sausages everywhere. I wanna eat'em all the time, and I wanna eat a lot." So they fill the cave up with sausages.
They ask the frenchman what he wants. He says "I want women. I want women everywhere. I don't what kind of women; what age, what color, what size. I just want women." So they fill the cave up with women.
They ask the greek guy. He says "I want cigarettes. I wanna chain smoke all the time. I wanna smoke my way through the 10 years." So they fill the cave up with cigarettes.
10 years pass and it is time to open the caves. They open the german's cave. Out comes one huge beast of a man, so gelatinous, they can barely get him through the door.
They open the frenchman's cave. And they see little kids playing around, women talking to each other, and the frenchman h**... away at another woman in bed.
they open the greek guy's cave. He is sitting on top of a pile of unopened cigarettes. He says "A lighter...........give me a lighter!"
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The welder's helmet
A kids walking along the street and he sees a welders mask.
So the kids excited and he picks it up and puts it on. He plays with the eye visor, flipping it up and down.
Just then a guy in a van comes along and says "hey kid, you want a ride?"
The kid thinks why not so he gets in the van. As they're driving the
guy says to the kid "hey kid, do you know what m**... is?"
The kid says no.
The guy says "hey kid, do you know what dry h**... is?"
The kid says no.
The guy then says "hey kid do you know what a b**... is?"
The kid finally looks at the guy and says "hey mister, I gotta tell you, I'm not really a welder".
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The Welder's Mask
A kids walking along the street and he sees a welders mask.
So the kids excited and he picks it up and puts it on. He plays with the eye visor, flipping it up and down.
Just then a guy in a van comes along and says "hey kid, you want a ride?"
The kid thinks why not so he gets in the van. As they're driving the guy says to the kid "hey kid, do you know what m**... is?"
The kid says no.
The guy says "hey kid, do you know what dry h**... is?"
The kid says no.
The guy then says "hey kid do you know what a b**... is?"
The kid finally looks at the guy and says "hey mister, I gotta tell you, I'm not really a welder".
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At least he won't annoy his co-workers every week.
What did the mother and father camel name their baby born without a h**...?
Humphrey!
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My dog, Grandpa
The other day, my professor asked me what I'd name my dog if I got one.
I said, well I'd name him Grandpa.
That way, when people asked how my day was, I can say things like:
Oh man, I forgot to feed Grandpa today.
I feel bad for leaving Grandpa outside last night.
Grandpa pooped in the living room again.
I had to put grandpa down today.
Grandpa ran away again.
I caught Grandpa h**... my friend's leg again.
And people who don't know me, won't know what I'm talking about.
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How do you get a pitbull to stop h**... your leg?
Pick him up and s**... him off.
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A father and his 8 year old son are on a walk and come across two dogs h**....
"Dad, what are those dogs doing?" the boy asks.
"Well son, they're trying to make puppies."
That answer seemed to satisfy the son's curiosity, so no more was said about it and they finished their walk.
Later that night the boy had a nightmare and ran into his parent's room, only to catch them in the act.
"Dad, what are you doing."
"Well son, your mom and I are trying to make you a little brother or sister for you."
"Can you turn her over dad? I'd rather have a puppy."
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A man and his son stumble upon two dogs h**......
When the little boy asks his dad what the dogs are doing, he explains that they're making puppies.
Later that night, the man and his wife are going at it hot and heavy in the bedroom. The little boy stumbles in unannounced. In a panic, the parents hurriedly gather themselves.
The boy asks, "daddy, what are you and mommy doing?"
"Well..." his father says, "we were making babies, son."
"Quick, dad," the boy shouts. "Roll her over! I'd rather have puppies."
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Wrestling demonstration.
This is a visual joke to be told with a friend to another or a group.
First. Put your friend in a Half Nelson hold and ask the others to identify the hold. If they can fine. If they can't you or your partner identifies the hold as a Half Nelson.
Second. Put your friend in a Full Nelson hold and ask the others: What is this hold called? Either someone identifies the Full Nelson hold or you explain that it is called the Full Nelson.
Third. While still holding your friend in the Full Nelson hold, start h**... him and ask the others to now identify that kind of wrestling hold. You then identify the hold as the Father Nelson.
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Did you know that camels can last longer without water than s**...?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a h**....
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If Wednesday is h**... day...
Would that make Tuesday foreplay day?
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A tale of two camels
Buddy of mine works at the local zoo. He's usually taking care of the camel they have there they call Sir h**.... They had been noticing that he was looking mopey and depressed so they brought in a companion. This female camel was named Lady Lumps. Anyways, h**... was finally acting normal again and soon enough, they did the freaky deaky camel thruster and had a baby. This camel was born without a h**.... When I asked him was they ended up naming it he just smirked at me. He finally stopped and as serious as he could said:
"What do you think a h**...-less camel should be named? It's obvious...
Humphrey."
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Puppy Love
A man and his younger son are enjoying an afternoon in the park. Two dogs nearby are h**... away and the son curiously asks "Dad, what are they doing?"
The Dad thinks it's about time for these kind of questions so he calmly replies "Well son .. they are making puppies."
Later that night the son has trouble sleeping and wanders into his parents bedroom. He stops when he sees his parents are having s**.... The son cautiously asks "Uh, Dad... what are you doing to Mom?"
The Dad says "Well son.. we are making a baby."
The son ponders this for a moment and says "Well flip her over, I want a puppy!"
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helpful dog
A man and his son come across two dogs h**.... The son says, "Dad, what are those dogs doing?"
His father replies, "Well, the dog on top must have hurt his two front paws, and that dog on the bottom is helping him home."
The son says, "It just figures -- you try to help someone out, and they screw you."
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Curious Little Boy
A little boy is at the park with his mother and father. While walking around, he sees 2 dogs, one being mounted and other other h**... furiously. "What are they doing"? The little boy ask his parents. The father thinking quickly says "Making a puppy" and the boy accepts this answer and they are on there way. Later that night, as the boy lies in bed, he gets up to go ask his parents for a glass of water. He walks in to see his day laying on top of his mother, face to face, h**... furiously." Daddy, what are you doing to mommy" The dad, extremely embarrassed, saying the first thing that pops into his brain "We're making a baby". The boy looks at his parents one more time before he responds "Turn her over, I'd rather have a puppy"
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How do you keep a little dog from h**... your leg?
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Why does the Nuvaring make pregnancy more unlikely?
It's another hoop to h**... through!
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A man is walking through the park with his son...
Suddenly the boy exclaims, "Dad! Dad! Look!"
And the man turns to see two dogs h**... wildly.
"What are they doing?" the boy asks.
The man hesitates for a moment and says, "Ah, well son... *They're making puppies!*"
"Wow! Neat!" the boy says, rather astonished.
Later that night – thinking their son is asleep – the man and his wife begin some very passionate love making.
"What are you doing?" they suddenly hear from their doorway. It's their boy!
Shocked and embarrassed they stop. "Well son," the man begins, "Mommy and I were, ah, just making a new little brother or sister for you!"
The boy looks at his dad for a moment, and says, "Well, turn her around! I want a puppy!"
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So, a one-h**... camel marries a two-h**... camel, and they have a baby, but the baby didn't have a h**....
So they named him Humphrey.
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I don't understand why dogs are called man's best friend.
Surely a man's real best friend would never try to h**... his girlfriend's leg.
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humpy dumpy
yo mom is like humpy dumpy first she gets h**... then she gets dumped
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How do you stop a dog from h**... your leg?
Put peanut butter on it.
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How did Camelot get its name?
Guinevere liked to h**... a lot.
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Bedroom animals
A pair of newlyweds are out for drinks with a middle-aged couple who have been married for twenty years.
Having knocked back a few, the older husband turns to the newlyweds and remarks with a wink: "I bet you two are like a couple of rabbits in the bedroom."
The newlyweds laugh awkwardly at this, and then the young husband asks "Well, what kind of bedroom animals are you two then?"
The older husband screws up his face and thinks about it for a moment, then exclaims wryly: "Don't know about me, but Margaret here would have to be a camel: she can go for weeks and weeks without s**...."
Without missing a beat, Margaret replies: "That's funny because I was thinking George here would also be a camel: two humps and it's over."
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What do you call a h**...-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?
A drama-dairy.
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Two dust pans were dry h**.....
I was like dude, get a broom already!
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What do you get when you cross a leopard and a camel?
A fireside rug you can get a good h**... on.
Source: Jo Brand on QI S3; Cat's Eyes
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What do you call a three-h**... camel?
A mutant.
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Matt Damon
What do you call a Matt Damon having s**...?
Good Will h**...
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"LBJ" was a president...
Not a Spanish term for h**... Day activities.
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Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week?
Because Wednesday is h**... day.
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What's Sting's favorite Olympic sport?
The long h**...
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Why are camels bad at s**...?
They can only get up to two humps
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Why is Wednesday a camels favourite day?
It's h**... day.
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What's the difference between a poodle h**... your leg and a pit bull h**... your leg?
You let the pit bull finish.
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A camel
Is just an alpaca that wants two h**....
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I don't think my girlfriend likes dry h**....
She's always grinding to a halt.
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Why is International Women's day on a Wednesday?
Because it's h**... Day!
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After using up all the hot water for the shower my girlfriend asked "Are you shivering or trying to h**... me?"
"A little from collumn A, a little from collumn D."
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How do you have s**... with a group of camels?
One h**... at a time.
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What's the difference between a dromedary and my s**... life
At least a dromedary gets one h**....
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Literally just saw a dude in the city center h**... a trash can...
When I asked him why he was doing that he said, "It's cleaner than my ex wife."
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Is it wrong to have s**... with whales...
if they h**... back?
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Of course Hugh Hefner died on a Wednesday
We call it h**... day for a reason.
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In 1860, a man was given the job of teaching English to Indians (as they were called at the time).
He takes one of the Indian tribesmen out to the woods and is pointing things out and saying the word for it. "Tree. Stream. Rocks."
They go around a bend and right there in the trail there's another Indian h**... a s**...'s brains out. The English speaking man turns red and says "uhhhh... man riding bike."
The Indian pulls out his bow and fires two arrows, killing the couple. The English speaking man jumps back in horror and screams, "what did you do that for?!"
The Indian looks at him calmly and says, "man riding my bike."
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What do you call a three-h**... camel?
A cancer patient.
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What do you call a three-h**... camel?
A hunch-backed Bactrian.
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Does h**... a woman's leg count as s**... harassment?
If so, my dog is gonna be facing a lot of allegations on Twitter.
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It's taken me a long time to not miss having s**... with my GF,
but I think I'm over the h**....
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What do you call the type of camel with only one h**...?
Married.
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Happy h**... Day!
Unless you're alone like me, in which case it's just a regular Wednesday.
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A trespasser was caught with his pants down at the Louvre, h**... the Venus de Milo
He was charged with statuary r**...
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Why is today Jason Biggs' favorite day?
Because today is h**... π Day!
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How do you stop a dog h**... your leg?
s**... it's d!c**....
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What do you get when you cross a camel with a polar bear?
A fireside rug you can have a good h**... on.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I just don't get it...
I just don't get it. When my dog humps the furniture, it's funny.
But when I do it, I'm a w**...!
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what's an Essex(uk)/Jersey(usa) girls favourite nursery rhyme?
h**... me, dump me
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What do you call a 3 h**... camel?
She called him a lot of names, most of which are unprintable.