Outwards Jokes
4 outwards jokes and hilarious outwards puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about outwards that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Outwards Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good outwards joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Howard and Dale walk into a bar
They sit down at the bar and see people scuba diving on the tv.
"So here's a question" says Howard "How come scuba divers sit on the side of the boat with their oxygen tanks facing outward, and fall backwards off the boat?"
Dale thought for a minute and then said "Thats easy, if they fell forward they'd still be in the frigging boat!"
What's the difference between Louis c**... and Diarrhea?
Diarrhea sprays outward from the body. c**... sprays inward.
Did you hear about the guy who fell and had his arm implant protude outward?
It was quite metal.
The Pain Machine
A man and his wife are on their way to the hospital because the wife is soon to go into labor. When they arrive, the doctor asks them if they'd be willing to try out an experimental treatment option to alleviate the pain felt by the wife during childbirth. They decide to try it out, and the doctor hooks up a lot of electrodes between the wife and husband.
"This device will take a certain percentage of the pain that you are feeling and transfer it to the father of the child. If he is comfortable with it, you can transfer more and more of the pain, and you won't feel a thing."
She goes into labor, and the doctor starts the machine off at 10%. The husband feels fine, so he tells the doctor he can increase it if he wants to. The doctor increases to 20%, and the husband shows no signs of change. The doctor goes all the way to 35% and the husband starts to get c**... when he still feels fine.
"Know what, doc? Up it to 100%. I think I can take it."
The doctor cranks the machine to 100%, and the husband shows no outward signs of pain. "Ha, honey I knew you women complained too much about this stuff. I don't feel a thing!"
The child is born healthy, and the parents leave the hospital a few days later. They pull up at their house to see police cars in front and their neighbors crowded around. Their next-door neighbor Joe comes up to them in the car, hysterical.
"Karl! Karl! They just found the milkman dead on your front porch!"
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