Outta Jokes
87 outta jokes and hilarious outta puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about outta that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article takes you on a comedic journey, featuring a collection of humorous outta pocket jokes about going away, whaddaya say, and begone. Get ready to laugh as you read these side-splitting jokes that will have you laughing for days.
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Funniest Outta Short Jokes
Short outta jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The outta humour may include short outs jokes also.
- Just had the following conversation in court Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Judge: What?
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You're Not Guilty?
Me: Thanks, I'm outta here - Sometimes i just sit & run my fingers thru my wife's hair. It's a nice way to tell her i love her.
And also that we're outta napkins. - Meatloaf (RIP) owned a private forest. At dawn every day, he would collect the condensation and drink it. I asked him if it tastes good. He said "dew outta trees ain't bad!"
- Gold and Silver walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Ey you, get outta here!"
So Gold left. - Silver and lead are sitting at a bar and gold walks in. Silver yells " au, get outta here! "
- covid walks into a bar Bartender. What will you have.
Covid - Give me 2 shots and I am outta here. - Guy comes home and says to his wife, "Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!" She jumps for joy and asks, "Where are we going?!?"
He says, "I'm not going anywhere. You're outta here!" - A mushroom walks into a bar, puts down a $5 bill, says "Gimme a drink!" Bartender says "Get outta here, we don't serve your kind!"
Mushroom says "Why not? I'm a fun guy!" - A Rabbi and a Priest are walking down the street when a young boy passes by The priest exclaims "Let's screw him!"
The rabbi says "Outta what? He's a kid" - Flat mate saw me chopping furiously in the kitchen He said "why are you cutting up rosemary so fast"? I said cos I've run outta thyme
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Outta One Liners
Which outta one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with outta? I can suggest the ones about out the window and outrun.
- Why did the mermaid wear seashells? She grew outta her beeshells!!!
- Ur mama is so fat I swerved to miss her and my car ran outta gas!!
- Hey girl are u a brain tumor? Cuz i cant get u outta my head and its killing me
- You know what they say. Big hands, big feet... Two outta three ain't bad!
- If you fall outta your car in your driveway, it's your own asphalt.
- Girl are you gorilla glue? Cause I can't get you outta my head
- How does Ice-Cube drink his milk? Straight Outta Carton.
- What did the umpire say to the bald man? "You're outta hair!"
- OJ Simpson finally confessed!!! They squeezed it outta him!
- What is the similarity between lemon and banana? Can't make mango juice outta them.
- How do you make a child fall asleep at night? You scare the living daylights outta them.
- Yo momma's so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas.
- I went to the zoo to see the animals. They were singing We Gotta Get Outta This Place .
- The birds What did one bird say to the other?
Say man, let's get the flock outta here! - What did the man say to get the rabbit out of his house? Get outta hare!
Delightful Fun Outta Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about outta you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gotta jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make outta pranks.
I won the lottery
and came home to tell my wife to pack her bags.
She asked where we were going. I said I don't know where you're going just be outta here by 5
One from the 1970's . . .
What's uptight, outta sight and in the groove?
A t**....
A priest and a rabbi
are walking down the street when they notice a little boy playing on a puddle.
The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "hey, let's go screw that kid!". To which the rabbi replies, "outta what?!"
A priest and a rabbi....
are walking down the street. They see a cute little boy coming towards them and the priest nudges the Rabbi and says "Hey, let's go f**K that little boy". The rabbi replies "outta vut"
Two homeless men...
were sitting under a bridge watching a dog lick its c**....
One of the men said, "I wish I could do that!"
To which the other replied, "Oh no you don't! He took a bite outta my arm the last time I tried!"
adam and eve finally figured out the whole s**... thing...
afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.
god asks "son, where's eve?"
to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."
god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."
Strings
Three pieces of strings are standing outside a bar with the intention of having a drink. The first one walks in and the bartender asks, "are you a piece of string?". He answers, "yes". The bartender yells, "get outta my bar". The second goes in and the same thing happens. The third then says to the other two, "quick tie me into a frayed knot". They do so and he walks into the bar and the bartender asks, "are you a piece of string?". He says ,"No. I'm a frayed knot"
What did the square say to the triangle?
You're outta line!
Abortions........
Really s**... the life outta you
Stopped from going into a bar, dis is discrimination.
A brain and a jumper cable walked up to the bar, "I'm sorry , I can't serve you guys " said the barman,
Why? said the brain,
You're outta youre head and he is going to start something.
A priest and a rabbi...
are sitting on a bench in the park. The priest sees a child bend over to pick up a toy.
He says to the rabbi, "I really want to screw that kid."
The rabbi replies, "Outta what?"
What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar?
"AU, get outta here!"
Where does N.W.A get their notes on the scattering of photons off of electrons?
Straight Outta Compton
Two lawyers are sitting in a bar...
... When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?" and the other lawyer replies, "Outta what?"
Taking my 4 year old to see Straight Outta Compton.
I can't remember ever being this excited for a movie that's rated G.
Straight Outta Compton Spoiler
Eazy-E dies
What do you call the sequel to Straight Outta Compton about Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg?
The Next Episode
Why do elephants have flat feet?
from jumpin' outta palm trees, duh
What did the alien say when he got to the end of the universe?
Nothing he just ran outta space..
A Priest and a Rabbi are walking behind a 3rd grader.
The priest says "hey we should screw that kid"
The rabbi says "outta what?'
Dirtiest clean joke I know...
What did the egg say to the boiling water....? It's gonna take a minute for me to get hard, I just came outta this chik! :p
My dad's kinda racist. He gets anxious around people south of the USA. You outta see what happens when they get close.
He has Hispanic attacks.
A man wins the lottery and is of course extremely excited. He rushes home and tells his wife of 48 years "Honey, pack your bags! I just won the lottery!" The wife says "oh my god! Where are we going??"
The husband replies "I don't know where you're going, just be outta here by 5"
Two guys were walking down the street
Suddenly, A car comes outta nowhere and runs them over.
One of them died, and the other guy survived, so he gets up and starts complaining to the car's driver.
"What's wrong with you? learn to drive a car j**..."
the driver says "What are you complaining about? your friend here died and he's not saying a word"
I can take myself to lunch, I can pick myself flowers, I can buy myself chocolate, I can write cute Valentine's to myself, but autofellatio is still just...
outta reach
A rope walks into a bar
The bartender says "we don't serve your kind here."
The rope leaves and cuts the top of his hair.
He comes back the next day and the bartender says, "are you that rope I kicked outta here yesterday?"
The rope says, "I'm a frayed knot."
Then he gets shot in the face.
Times New Roman, Aerial, and Calibri walk into a bar.
The barman chases them out, yelling: "GET OUTTA HERE! WE DON'T SERVE YOUR TYPE!"
What should you do when you see Rainman?
Open the umbrella man!
I'm outta here.
What did the shower say to the shampoo?
GET OUTTA HAIR!
Two octopi are sitting at a bar
One says to the other, "I'm all outta ink, mind sliding me another bottle of that stuff?" to which the other replies, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"
A New Yorker visits a Texan
The Texan shows the New Yorker around his place. "Howd'ya like it?", he asks.
"It's not bad", answers the New Yorker, "but I'll be honest, I expected you Texans to have larger places. The living room's too small, the master bedroom is small too, there is only one bathroom, and there isn't even a balcony."
"Hold your horses!" says the Texan. "We haven't even gotten outta the elevator yet!"
A priest and a rabbi were sitting on a park bench
A young boy ran past them. The priest asks hey, hey, how'd you like to screw that one? The rabbi turns and says outta what?
What did Jimi Hendrix say when he was thrown into prison?
There must be some kinda way outta here.
This random brown dude on fb is insisting that i show him my husband
I told him that i cannot show Bob because he is outta town.
The president is walking down a narrow hallway
Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.
Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"
McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."
Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my campaign. What did they get you for?"
Two Hindus where at a party...
The first Hindu says, hey, this party blows harder than a snake charmer on the brink of unemployment. How about we get outta here?
The second Hindu replies, namaste
The Postman
Scared the h**... outta the postman today by going to the door completely n**....
I'm not sure what scared him more, my n**... body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
A wife hears her husband shouting at the TV from upstairs
"Don't do it you idiot", "it's a trap", "Get outta there", "You fool" he keeps on shouting at the TV. The wife calls out to him "Hey what the h**... you watching". The husband says, "Oh nothing I was just watching our wedding video.
What was the name of h**...'s rap album?
Straight Outta Kampfton
Shot my first turkey the other day.
Scared the c**... outta everyone in the frozen food section!
Did you hear the one about the man who was unjustly trapped inside of a penny?
He yelled, "Let me outta here. I'm in a cent!"
I was sitting on an automatic toilet when it malfunctioned and abruptly flushed underneath me…
Scared the s**... outta me.
Three guys were sleeping on a single mattress
When they wake up the guy on the left whispers to the other two, "Dudes, I just had a dream I was getting a h**......It was friggin awesome."
Then the guy on the right says, "Get outta here! I had a h**... dream too!"
While they high fived and discussed the odds, the guy in the center said, "Lucky stiffs. In my dream, I was skiing."
You know what we should do to all those people who soak up government money and don't work for it?
Kick them outta office!
A farmer and his wife live isolated from other people, but the wife is pregnant and now the farmer has to call the town's doctor
Unfortunately the farm has no electricity so the doctor asks the farmer to light up the room with a lantern so he could see what's he's doing. One after another, 5 children are born. The farmer tries to run away, terrified.
-Come back here, I think there's another baby, but I can't see anything in here! says the doctor.
To which the farmer says:
-No doctor I'm outta here, I think the lantern attracts them!
*Enjoy a poorly translated Romanian joke
Mom, why do you stay with my abusive dad?
Mom: Beats the h**... outta me
What did the Mammoth say to the n**... caveman?
How can you even breathe outta that little thing?
A brain walked into a bar
When it asked for a drink, the bartender said "We can't serve you - you must be outta your head!"
