Outta Jokes
87 outta jokes and hilarious outta puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about outta that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article takes you on a comedic journey, featuring a collection of humorous outta pocket jokes about going away, whaddaya say, and begone. Get ready to laugh as you read these side-splitting jokes that will have you laughing for days.
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Funniest Outta Short Jokes
Short outta jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The outta humour may include short outs jokes also.
- Just had the following conversation in court Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Judge: What?
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You're Not Guilty?
Me: Thanks, I'm outta here - Sometimes i just sit & run my fingers thru my wife's hair. It's a nice way to tell her i love her.
And also that we're outta napkins. - Meatloaf (RIP) owned a private forest. At dawn every day, he would collect the condensation and drink it. I asked him if it tastes good. He said "dew outta trees ain't bad!"
- Gold and Silver walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Ey you, get outta here!"
So Gold left. - covid walks into a bar Bartender. What will you have.
Covid - Give me 2 shots and I am outta here. - Flat mate saw me chopping furiously in the kitchen He said "why are you cutting up rosemary so fast"? I said cos I've run outta thyme
- A brain walked into a bar When it asked for a drink, the bartender said "We can't serve you - you must be outta your head!"
- Did you hear the one about the man who was unjustly trapped inside of a penny? He yelled, "Let me outta here. I'm in a cent!"
- What did Jimi Hendrix say when he was thrown into prison? There must be some kinda way outta here.
- Two lawyers are sitting in a bar... ... When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?" and the other lawyer replies, "Outta what?"
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Outta One Liners
Which outta one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with outta? I can suggest the ones about out the window and outrun.
- You know what they say. Big hands, big feet... Two outta three ain't bad!
- If you fall outta your car in your driveway, it's your own asphalt.
- How does Ice-Cube drink his milk? Straight Outta Carton.
- OJ Simpson finally confessed!!! They squeezed it outta him!
- What is the similarity between lemon and banana? Can't make mango juice outta them.
- How do you make a child fall asleep at night? You scare the living daylights outta them.
- I went to the zoo to see the animals. They were singing We Gotta Get Outta This Place .
- The birds What did one bird say to the other?
Say man, let's get the flock outta here! - What did the man say to get the rabbit out of his house? Get outta hare!
- What did the shower say to the shampoo? GET OUTTA HAIR!
- What should you do when you see Rainman? Open the umbrella man!
I'm outta here. - Why do elephants have flat feet? from jumpin' outta palm trees, duh
- What did the square say to the triangle? You're outta line!
- What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? Get outta my face!
- STRAIGHT OUTTA 2015 vine
Delightful Fun Outta Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about outta you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean out of context jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make outta pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One from the 1970's . . .
What's uptight, outta sight and in the groove?
A t**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest and a rabbi....
are walking down the street. They see a cute little boy coming towards them and the priest nudges the Rabbi and says "Hey, let's go f**K that little boy". The rabbi replies "outta vut"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two homeless men...
were sitting under a bridge watching a dog lick its c**....
One of the men said, "I wish I could do that!"
To which the other replied, "Oh no you don't! He took a bite outta my arm the last time I tried!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
adam and eve finally figured out the whole s**... thing...
afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.
god asks "son, where's eve?"
to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."
god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A yooper WW2 Fighter Pilot visited a school to talk about his service
"In 19 and 42, da situation was really tough. The Germans, dey had a very strong Air Force. I remember dis one day I was protectin' da b**... and suddenly, from outta da clouds, dese fokkers appeared."
*At this point, several of the children giggle*
"I looked up, and right above me was one of da fokkers. I aimed at him and shot dat fokker down. Da fokkers was everywhere, dere was anoder fokker right behind me."
The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of a German-Dutch aircraft company"
"Ya... ya... dat's true!" says the old pilot, "but dese fokkers was flyin' Messerschmidts."
A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator...
...and the bartender says, "Hey! Get that thing outta here!"
The guy says, "Wait, wait, he's totally harmless. I've had this alligator since he was a baby and I've trained him to be completely under my control."
Dubious, the bartender says, "I don't know if I believe you, and I think it will still scare my customers, so please just leave."
"Listen," the man says. "If I can prove it to you and everyone in here that this alligator is completely harmless, will you let me stay and have a drink?"
So the bartender agrees, albeit a bit apprehensively, not sure what the man has in mind. The man then commands the alligator to open its mouth and the beast does. The man then sticks his head inside the alligator's gaping maw, and the crowd gasps, but the alligator doesn't bite down. Finally, the man pounds his fist on the top of the alligator's head three times and still the animal's jaws remain open.
The man removes his head from the alligator's mouth and says, "See, he's completely harmless. In fact, I can do this trick with anyone! Who here wants to give this a try?"
A blonde stands up in the back of the bar and says, "Okay, I'll give it a shot, but please don't hit me on the head that hard."
Where is Eazy E from?
Straight Outta Coffin
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Abortions........
Really s**... the life outta you
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stopped from going into a bar, dis is discrimination.
A brain and a jumper cable walked up to the bar, "I'm sorry , I can't serve you guys " said the barman,
Why? said the brain,
You're outta youre head and he is going to start something.
I just watched Meet the Parents again
And if I was Gay I would have been outta there
What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?
Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!
Entered into a hot potato competition today.
It really got outta hand.
Jesus the carpenter
So the pastor was talking about Acts 2:35, and how God makes a footstool outta your enemies. Somebody from the back said, "figures, him being a carpenter and all". Everyone laughed.
Hippie chicks apply their tampons...
...up tight, outta sight and in the groove.
Where does N.W.A get their notes on the scattering of photons off of electrons?
Straight Outta Compton
What did the mushroom say to the bouncer who kicked him outta the club?
Oh, c'mon! I'm a fungai!
So a boy and an old man walk into the woods...
The boy says to the man... "I'm really scared mister." The man replies "You're scared? I gotta walk outta here alone."
Taking my 4 year old to see Straight Outta Compton.
I can't remember ever being this excited for a movie that's rated G.
Straight Outta Compton Spoiler
Eazy-E dies
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Straight Outta Compton left out Dr. Dreâs history of a**... against women
Because they didn't want to turn this drama film into a comedy!
What do you call the sequel to Straight Outta Compton about Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg?
The Next Episode
What did the alien say when he got to the end of the universe?
Nothing he just ran outta space..
Outtake from a Peyton Manning Nationwide commercial....
HGH will extend my career.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dirtiest clean joke I know...
What did the egg say to the boiling water....? It's gonna take a minute for me to get hard, I just came outta this chik! :p
A man wins the lottery and is of course extremely excited. He rushes home and tells his wife of 48 years "Honey, pack your bags! I just won the lottery!" The wife says "oh my god! Where are we going??"
The husband replies "I don't know where you're going, just be outta here by 5"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys were walking down the street
Suddenly, A car comes outta nowhere and runs them over.
One of them died, and the other guy survived, so he gets up and starts complaining to the car's driver.
"What's wrong with you? learn to drive a car j**..."
the driver says "What are you complaining about? your friend here died and he's not saying a word"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can take myself to lunch, I can pick myself flowers, I can buy myself chocolate, I can write cute Valentine's to myself, but autofellatio is still just...
outta reach
A rope walks into a bar
The bartender says "we don't serve your kind here."
The rope leaves and cuts the top of his hair.
He comes back the next day and the bartender says, "are you that rope I kicked outta here yesterday?"
The rope says, "I'm a frayed knot."
Then he gets shot in the face.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Times New Roman, Aerial, and Calibri walk into a bar.
The barman chases them out, yelling: "GET OUTTA HERE! WE DON'T SERVE YOUR TYPE!"
Dr Dre's newborn has just released its first album
"Straight Outta Momma"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey girl are u a brain tumor?
Cuz i cant get u outta my head and its killing me
Two octopi are sitting at a bar
One says to the other, "I'm all outta ink, mind sliding me another bottle of that stuff?" to which the other replies, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"
A New Yorker visits a Texan
The Texan shows the New Yorker around his place. "Howd'ya like it?", he asks.
"It's not bad", answers the New Yorker, "but I'll be honest, I expected you Texans to have larger places. The living room's too small, the master bedroom is small too, there is only one bathroom, and there isn't even a balcony."
"Hold your horses!" says the Texan. "We haven't even gotten outta the elevator yet!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why couldn't the americans catch the kgb spy?
He was russian to get outta there! Hahhahhaha
This random brown dude on fb is insisting that i show him my husband
I told him that i cannot show Bob because he is outta town.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the umpire say to the bald man?
"You're outta hair!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Uranus black hole
"no, it's a planet"
"you a lunar-tic"
"get outta here"
"alright, don't get so serius"
300 Bagels Roll Down A Hill, the 301st makes it about a half way and falls over. It wanted to make it all the way down...
But it was outta lox.
The president is walking down a narrow hallway
Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.
Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"
McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."
Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my campaign. What did they get you for?"
One hot summer day in the city...
A group of boys are hanging around on the corner with nothing to do. One of their mothers opens her window and shouts down to them "hey you boys better stay outta trouble! Go on and buy yourself something to keep you busy!" And throws a $5 bill down to them.
One of the boys grabs the money and runs to the corner store as the other boys excitedly follow him. He runs into the store and buys a box of tampons.
The other boys are incredulous to see that he wasted the money on tampons and demand an explanation.
He holds up the box proudly "Look at all we can do! It says right here on the side of the box! Now we can go swimming!... We can go horse back riding!..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Hindus where at a party...
The first Hindu says, hey, this party blows harder than a snake charmer on the brink of unemployment. How about we get outta here?
The second Hindu replies, namaste
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was the name of h**...'s rap album?
Straight Outta Kampfton
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Girl are you gorilla glue?
Cause I can't get you outta my head
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I was sitting on an automatic toilet when it malfunctioned and abruptly flushed underneath me…
Scared the s**... outta me.
A farmer and his wife live isolated from other people, but the wife is pregnant and now the farmer has to call the town's doctor
Unfortunately the farm has no electricity so the doctor asks the farmer to light up the room with a lantern so he could see what's he's doing. One after another, 5 children are born. The farmer tries to run away, terrified.
-Come back here, I think there's another baby, but I can't see anything in here! says the doctor.
To which the farmer says:
-No doctor I'm outta here, I think the lantern attracts them!
*Enjoy a poorly translated Romanian joke
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Mom, why do you stay with my abusive dad?
Mom: Beats the h**... outta me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Mammoth say to the n**... caveman?
How can you even breathe outta that little thing?
