Outfit Jokes
97 outfit jokes and hilarious outfit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about outfit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
You don't need to take your outfit planning too seriously. Let loose and show your fun side with these funny jokes about matching outfits, Halloween costumes, the same garment, jumpsuits, and spandex. Get ready to laugh out loud!
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Funniest Outfit Short Jokes
Short outfit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The outfit humour may include short attire jokes also.
- I heard that Fortnite put a limit of three outfits for players in Isreal. Jews aren't allowed to have four skins.
- Why is women's soccer so rare? It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
- Everyone keeps asking me why I buried my mom in such a terribly ugly outfit We were shopping a few years ago and she said that was the last thing she'd ever want to wear.
- Why did NASA cancel the all-female spacewalk? None of them would go outside the rocket wearing the same outfit.
- Sweet Baby Jokes (philanthropic concept reversal) What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
The trampoline doesn't look awfully cute in a sailor's outfit.
- Why do nuns wear the same outfit every day? It's a habit.
(I made this one up. I doubt I am the first to do it. ) - I'm going to be taking my drivers exam in a full stormtrooper outfit... That way I won't hit anything.
- My part-time waitress girlfriend wants to buy nothing but designer outfits... .. I told her to "act her wage".
- "I really like the outfits my mechanic wears" "Any particular reason?"
"Nah, just an overall fan" - Why was the new lawyer not too fond of his work outfit? He wasn't comfortable being in a lawsuit yet.
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Outfit One Liners
Which outfit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with outfit? I can suggest the ones about clothes and costume.
- I saw 2 men in matching outfits I asked them if they were gay They arrested me
- I was watching my wife try on outfits; I said, you know what you looked best in? 1996.
- I've just bought my wife a slinky outfit I can't wait to see her going down the stairs.
- Did you hear about the guy who made an outfit out of super glue? It was hard to pull off.
- Why did the nun swear when she got her new outfit? It was a bad habit.
- What's Mario's favorite outfit? A JUMPsuit made of… denim, denim, denim.
- And then the penguin says to the bartender, this *is* my most casual outfit!
- I just wore an outfit made of tyre/tires it was attire.
which part?
entire - What happens when a sweatshop gets busted? The entire outfit is compromised.
- I bought a TV from a guy wearing a white outfit and a white cone mask It was a 3k tv
- What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents? Mice outfit!
- TIFU by stealing my nurse's outfit. Whoops, wrong scrub.
- I hate it when my wife askes me to carry her handbag... and it doesn't match my outfit!!
- I wore a new outfit and asked my dad "How do i look?" He replied: "With your eyes, son"
- Why did peasants hate knights' outfits? Because everyone hates chain mail.
Same Outfit Jokes
Here is a list of funny same outfit jokes and even better same outfit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife told me to be more spontaneous and funny... But she was all screaming and tears, when I banged on the kitchen window dressed in a clown outfit!
- Does anyone recall the guy in the superhero outfit at the Capitol on January 6th? He was on the far right.
- I saw two guys walking together with matching outfits at the mall, so I asked them if they were gay. They arrested me.
- I remember the time my cousin completely lost it and threw a giant fit at her 12th birthday party. After she changed her outfit she was fine... It was a post dramatic dress
- I finally managed to get some cymbal for my one man band outfit The only trouble is, now the trousers clash
- Donald Trump's family bought him a Gandalf the Grey costume for his birthday. Unfortunately, this wasn't the sort of Grand Wizard outfit he had in mind...
- I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked wonderful... or if it was just the 14th outfit she'd tried on and he didn't want to be late to the party.
- Why should you wear your nicest outfit if you're going to be attacked by birds? Because you'll want to be impeccable.
- What did they say about the Swordsman's outfit at the Met Gala? That is was very Avant En Garde.
- Why did the fashion designer want to be cremated? Because he wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same outfit for all eternity.
Wore Outfit Jokes
Here is a list of funny wore outfit jokes and even better wore outfit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wore my superhero outfit today and I'm not sure why everyone was staring at me. I thought it was conventional attire.
Matching Outfit Jokes
Here is a list of funny matching outfit jokes and even better matching outfit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Today I saw a guy in a store window matching my outfit so I asked him: Are you gay? But ,It was my reflection and I was having a existential crisis
Halloween Outfit Jokes
Here is a list of funny halloween outfit jokes and even better halloween outfit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was showing off my Halloween ghost outfit to a friend. She says people will think I'm a spectercle.
Heartwarming Outfit Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about outfit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fashion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make outfit pranks.
My friend had this really fancy business meeting...
He had this special outfit prepared, but he needed it to be properly fitted, to look nice. I offered to do it but he said he could do it himself
"Fine," I said...
"Suit yourself"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found this new social media channel of a cute girl in revealing outfit that teaches elementary mathematics
Her account is "The THOT that Counts"
What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
A trampoline doesn't look adorable in a sailor outfit
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wife spices things up!
A wife, worrying about the state of her marriage, decides to spice things up in the bedroom by adding some costume play. She buys a s**... supergirl outfit and when her husband is in bed slips it on. She walks out, poses seductively and says "Superpussy". Her husband, not looking up from his crossword says "I'll have the soup thanks".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(NSWF) Whats funner than a dead baby
A dead baby wearing a clown outfit
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes for 10/26
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In Dallas, a man was arrested after he attacked a man in a pink shirt, while shouting homophobic slurs. Because what could be less gay than freaking out over another man's outfit?
In California, a man robbed a convenience store, only to return later to apologize and give back the money. The cashier accepted the man's apology, then shot him eleven times.
Scientists in Switzerland used a spectrometer to determine that the Rosetta comet smells terrible. And these scientists know about bad smells, because they spend all day sniffing Uranus.
The reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was cancelled after it was learned that Mama June was dating a convicted r**.... Previously, she'd exhibited better judgment, by only dating rapists who had never been convicted.
I heard reports of a white haired man in a strange outfit going around emptying his sack in children's bedrooms across the country.
Which is crazy because I heard Jimmy Saville was dead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Shower s**... in Detroit
In a recent survey, people from Detroit have proved to be the most likely to have had s**... in the shower.In the survey, carried out for a leading toiletries outfit, 86% of Detroit residents said that they have had, if not enjoyed, s**... in the shower. The other 14% said they haven't yet served any time in prison.
I think Lady Gaga's next outfit should be made of spaghetti...
If that's *pastable*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The courier delivered only half of my grizzly outfit today...
So I choked him with my bear hands.
I saw a pirate walking down the street the other day
I said to him
"that's an awesome outfit, but where are your buccaneers?"
He replied
"They're under my buckin hat!"
I once met Bruce Willis
I once met Bruce Willis at a fancy dress party. He was wearing a really shabby looking nun outfit. I was told that he'd worn the same costume to every fancy dress party he'd attended for years. I suppose old habits die hard.
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one.
But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided; if she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.
What kind of outfit does a unicycle wear?
Attire.
Popsicle sticks can be surprisingly funny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a midget in a k**... outfit today
I think he is a little racist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend has a schoolgirl fantasy...
I get really uncomfortable when she makes me wear the outfit...
News has leaked of the title of Bruce Willis' next film, where he wears a nun's outfit he bought from a charity shop.
Old habits die hard.
Why does Iron Man like to show off his outfit?
It's a steel!
My friend said we should steal a sailor's outfit.
That's nautical idea.
My favorite starting hand and outfit playing online poker.
Jack King off suit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend is off out to buy a d**... outfit on Saturday.
Although she prefers to call it a wedding dress.
I saw two men wearing the exact same outfit so I asked if they were gay.
They arrested me.
My son in kindergarten had a party a short while ago where we had to dress up as food.....
Everyone was supposed to dress up as a food and parents were also encouraged to come and dress up.
So I decided to go with my son and I put on my cowboy outfit and I went.
There as i was going in a teacher said "Sir, your supposed to be dressed up as a food"
And so I said, " I am. I'm ranch dressing"
I was gonna go to a fancy dress party as a piece of A4 paper but someone ruined my outfit.
Now I'm a bit torn.
I went to a bar last night...
The free peanuts mentioned how great my outfit looked.The broken jukebox told me i had a terrible hair cut.I asked the bartender what their deal was.
'Well,the nuts are complimentary and the music player is out of order'
If Batman wears kevlar armor and a bulletproof cape, why does Robin have to wear a bright-colored spandex outfit?
For the same reason: Batman doesn't like getting shot.
I like to put my clothes on inside out
So the whole world is wearing my favorite outfit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went on a date last night and I knew the girl was a little k**... but then she showed me the furry outfit she wanted me to wear...
It gave me paws.
Does anyone know how to cancel eBay bids?
I bid £10 on a cowboy outfit and I'm about 5 minutes away from owning the Tory Party.
Spiderman designed a new outfit that he can wear to formal occasions.
It's a class action suit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was challenged to my first fight the other day. I picked out an outfit, showed up and got my a**... kicked.
It turned out not to be my strong suit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a guy in a wheelchair wearing a camo outfit
I thought, man you can hide but you can't run.
A lion is drinking from a puddle and his tail is up.
A gorilla walks up behind him, seizes the opportunity and has his way with him.
The gorilla takes off and the lion takes off after him. The gorilla runs into a hunter's camp, jumps into a tent, puts on a safari outfit and a pith helmet, grabs a copy of The Johannesburg Times, sits down and pretends to read.
The lion runs into the camp, sticks his head into the tent and roars, "Arrgg! Did a gorilla come through here?"
The gorilla says, "You mean the one that nailed you from behind?"
The lion says, "You mean it's in the paper already?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My tinder date invited me back to her house tonight, and while she was in the bathroom, I had a cheeky look in her wardrobe. Inside, there was a nurse outfit, a police woman's uniform and a full d**... bodysuit, so I quickly pulled on my pants and snuck out of there.
I don't want a girlfriend who can't hold down a job.
There's a guy in my neighbourhood who I used to think was really weird. I'd always see him out walking his rabbit. The rabbit was always in a different outfit. One day a frock. One day a skirt. One day a suit-jacket combo. Then it multiplied into a flock of rabbits, all wearing really niche clothes.
Eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I approached him and asked "excuse me sir, I can't help but notice your entourage of dapper rabbits. Can I ask what you do?"
He replied "Oh I'm a hare stylist."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Aman comes home from work and his wife greats him at the door wearing a s**... French maid outfit.
He smiles as he is looking her up and down. High heels and fishnet stockings. Then he says Thanks for cleaning the house today honey.
Nothing looks good on me anymore, complained a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store's mirror…
Nonsense, ma'am, said the salesclerk trying to reassure her.
That dress says it all.
That's the problem, the woman replied.
I need a dress that keeps its mouth shut.
