Outdated Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

The term 'Grammar Nazi' is outdated and offensive...

...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write

You know, garbage man as a job title is a little sexist and outdated.

We should call them garbage people instead.

Request: Jokes for my five year old son

My son is starting to get into jokes and it's surprisingly difficult to find joke books that are appropriate for his age. Most recycle old jokes with outdated references that he doesn't even understand. Some of the references are so musty I don't even get them. Does anyone have good jokes/riddles I can pass along?

A teacher was arrested because he attempted to board a flight while possessing a ruler, protractor, and calculator...

(sorry it's *slightly* outdated but funny nonetheless)

A teacher was arrested because he attempted to board a flight while possessing a ruler, protractor, and calculator. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man's a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. The man's been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-gebra is a problem for us, Gonzales said. Its followers desire solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns,' but we've determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval, with coordinates in every country.

When asked to comment on the arrest, George W. Bush said, If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He'd have given us more fingers and toes. Aides told reporters they couldn't recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

Daddy, is god a Man or a Woman?

Father: God is both.

Boy: Is God Black or White?

Father: God is both.

Boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?



*Note* I know this joke is outdated, but a very close friend told it to me a couple years ago and as she recently passed away, I'm posting it here so people can know she was awesome.

Garden shears will never be outdated.

After all, it's cutting-hedge technology.

What do you call outdated memes?

Memeries

There's only one thing I hate more than outdated references and racism...

....The "I have a Dream" speech.

A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions.

It might be an outdated study though.

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

Hey did you hear about this new Netflix series? About a one-armed chef who creates food that tastes like it's already old and outdated. I think it's called

"The Hand Made Stale"

What does black people and Deutsche Mark have in common?

Both are outdated currency.

Kindness is like a boomerang

Outdated.

A Very Outdated But Still Funny Joke

A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"

The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."

So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?"

The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye."

"That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."

Connecting to the Internet. (WARNING:Old, Outdated)

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech sup: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

Customer: Yeah....

Tech sup: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

What are the funniest outdated jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Outdated? Well, here are the best Outdated puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Outdated pick up lines to share with friends.

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