Out Of Tune Jokes
141 out of tune jokes and hilarious out of tune puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about out of tune that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Out Of Tune Short Jokes
Short out of tune jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The out of tune humour may include short guitar tuning jokes also.
- We just got home from karaoke. My wife tried to sing with a mouth full of chick peas I told her to hummus a tune
- How do you know when an accordion player is at your door? You can hear the off-tune wheezing before they even start playing.
- What’s worse than a room full of accordionists? A room full of out-of-tune accordionists.
- Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"... Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg" - Millions of people tuned in attentively to the world's best music last night. And everyone at the Grammy's were able to too after the ceremony was over.
- What do you call an accordion player who also bakes? A musician who knows how to roll out a tune and dough at the same time.
- It's very easy to clean yourself to the tune of "Uptown Funk". Don't believe me? Just wash.
- Lebron James is going to be in Space Jam 2 It's going to be really weird when Lebron quits the Tune Squad and joins up with the Monstars midway through the movie
- What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish
"What about the glue?"
I knew you'd get stuck on that. - I heard an Iraqi guitar tutor is offering to teach guitarists songs in obscure tunings Lessons will be in BAGDAD
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Out Of Tune One Liners
Which out of tune one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with out of tune? I can suggest the ones about tune and piano tuning.
- I'm about to reveal a secret to being an excellent guitar player Stay tuned
- How can you tell when an accordion is out of tune? When it sounds normal.
- Why was the polka musician a good gardener? He knew how to pick the right tune-ips!
- Do you want to know the secret of making your guitar sound better? If so, stay tuned.
- How long does it take to tune a double bass? Nobody knows.
- What is the best way to tune a bagpipe? With a Pitchfork!
- What do you call music in a psychiatric hospital? Looney Tunes!
- I sing like an amputee I can't hold a note. I can't carry a tune.
- Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic? He wanted to get his Car tuned
- What happens if you slap a tuning fork? It hertz
- What do you hear when a crazy person sings? Looney tunes.
- You stop bad music with a tuning fork. How do you stop bad singing? A pitchfork
- How does ISIS listen to its favourite tunes? On a boombox.
- What's Bugs Bunny's favourite music? Looney Tunes
- What note does a narcissistic pianists use to tune a piano? Mi mi mi mi mi
Out Of Tune Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about out of tune you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean out of shape jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make out of tune pranks.
How to be Insulting in Church: Sing out of tune in all the hymns and try singing half a line behind everyone else.
Lebron better than Jordan?
Ha! Yea right.
Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Spent 15min tracing a suspicious noise that tuned out to be the lid not s**... on the Coke bottle tightly enough. If you need a top sleuth.
Depressed race car mechanic.
Scene: a psychiatrists practice:
'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonderful thing is out there purring, but I'll never get to enjoy it. ...'
'Well sir, I think I understand just fine, my brother in law has the exact same problem.'
'Is he a mechanic too doc?'
'No, a gynecologist'
If George Clooney...
What would George Clooney call his iTunes playlist?
Clooney Tunes.
Badum tsssh..
A date with the lead guitarist
(oc)
This groupie finally got a date with the lead guitarist of her band.
The next day, her friends asked her how things went. "Well", she replied, "it was frustrating... the guy spent half his time tuning up and the other half playing out of rhythm."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just some jokes about musicians.
How do you know the stage at a concert is level?
Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth.
What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
What do floutists eat for breakfast?
Flute loops.
How do you tune three oboeists?
Shoot 2 of them.
How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they stand on the ladder holding the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them.
A Chinese joke translated to English
A lion is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.
In a corner, a rat is dancing too.
Rat is asked, "Hey! Why are you dancing?
Rat replied, "It's my brother's marriage, so only."
"When did the lion become you brother?"
The Rat: "Before marriage I was a lion too."
Name That Tune
My school had a "Name that Tune" activity for the staff, and they had sound trouble so there was silence. I shouted out "John Cage!" and no one laughed.
Why are under-stocked fishmongers terrible at singing?
Because they are always out of tune-a!
The orchestra's new trumpet player
A local orchestra's trumpet player just died of old age. They start auditions so they can find a new one.
The judges call in the first candidate. He walks in wearing a beautifully tailored dark tuxedo. He pulls out an incredibly expensive trumpet. His trumpet case is lined with red velvet. He brings the gold plated instrument up to his mouth and starts playing.
And wow, he's terrible. The judges cringe as he clumsily stumbles through a few messy runs. Nearly everything he plays is hideously out of tune. They send him away and bring in the next candidate.
This guy looks exactly opposite from the other guy. His hair is messy. He hasn't showered in weeks. His beard has food particles in it. He opens a crumpled brown paper bag and pulls out a rusty trumpet. He shakily puts the instrument to his lips and starts playing.
And man, *he was worse.*
Baked Beans.
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
Why some put angels as Christmas tree toppers.
One year, Santa procrastinated too much and had an hour to go over his naughty nice list.
He was in a cabin gaining some progress when he heard a knock on his door. "Santa, we need your help in the workshop!"
Frustrated, Santa yelled "I'm busy right now, handle it yourselves. I can't afford to be interrupted!" And slammed the door.
Not 15 minutes later another knock is heard and his agitation is climbing. He opens the door and yells "What?!"
It was Mrs. Claus and she said startled "I brought you some food."
His face tuning red, he says "I've got a half hour left to check this list, I can't be interrupted!" He then slammed the door on his wife. He then says "I swear, the next interruption I get I'll just lose it."
About 20 minutes passed when he heard a knock at the door. He stormed to the door with a burning hatred when he opened it. It was an angel holding a Christmas tree. "Hey Santa, where do you want the tree?"
How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?
The feel the leash go slack!
(heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)
A guy walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar and hears piano music. He looks at the piano and can't see anyone sitting there, so he walks over and discovers a foot-tall man standing on the piano bench playing the tune of Dixie-Girl. The man thought that this was strange so he goes over to the bartender and asks where the man came from.
"Here," says the bartender, handing the man a genie lamp, "rub this."
So the man rubs the lamp and out comes this genie.
"What do you wish for?" asks the genie.
"A million bucks," the man states, quite sure of himself.
"Granted." And the genie claps his hands and disappeared back into the lamp.
The man looks around, checks his wallet but can't find a million bucks anywhere. Just that moment, a million ducks fly through the bar. Astounded the man says: "Hey! I didn't ask for a million ducks!"
"Do you think that I asked for a 12 inch pianist?" replied the bartender.
Did you hear about the musician who couldn't even pay to be in tune?
He was only a few cents off.
Was tuning the piano with my sister and I said...
This reminds me of the Soprano section in our school choir.
To which she responds, "How do you know if a Soprano is at the door?"
("IDK, How")
"She doesn't have the key and doesn't know when to come in."
What country has the best music?
Tune-isia
Tune Talk CEO has gone crazy!
Apparently a dog whistle in inaudible to the human ear.
Just think, my pet could be sitting in front of me whistling a tune and I can't hear a thing.
So I was looking over a Jazz tune...
My god...this song has more accidentals than an orphanage.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old friends meet in bar...
[translated from Turkish]
-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!
-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while
-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?
-Mais biensur !
-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!!
-No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try.
-Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow.
Next morning he calls Jack:
-Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning. Does it work with those old radios too?
-Sure! Scroll to 99, then go a little further to the right.
-Oh cool! Thx!
-Mais de rien !
-oh! s**... already...
Couple of weeks later, he meets Jack again. And Jack asks:
-Salut mon ami, How is your French?
- Shhhszzzzoussssshzzziuhli! (static noise)
[probably not the best written joke :/]
What do you call a fish with two knees?
A tunee fish :)
I wrote a song about cutting down trees.
It's not a snappy tune, it just lumbers along.
Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?
He kept trying to tune her G string.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have s**... if there is a risk of being overheard.
Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times.
I'd rather listen to an auto-tuned q**... played on a loop over and over, than listen to Lady Gaga's performance at the Grammy's again.
What type of fish needs to be tuned?
Tune a fish
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You can tune a piano...
But you can't tuna fish!
sorry to disappoint the people that were anxiously waiting for an i**... joke.....
(Pun) When's the best time to sing Ave Maria?
At the opera-tune moment.
My brother's guitar sound-correction service has a slightly flawed business model
But that's okay.
It just needs a little fine tuning.
Weird Al and vin diesel should team up with a chip tune band
Then they could be Al, Vin & The Chip Monks
A bard walks up to a bored leprechaun. How many tunes should the bard play?
Fortunes.
At a choral concert...
...you may see a choir director with a pitch pipe or a tuning fork, but you'll rarely see one with a pitch fork.
What's Hitlers favourite Drum & Bass tune?
The Nein.
How do you feel when your phone suddenly starts blaring your least favorite tune?
Alarmed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a girl who can f**... to the tune of Jingle Bells?
Carol
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kleptocracy
In Trump's new administration what tune will they play when Trump enters the room?
Hail to the thief.
What do you call a synthesizer-guitar that's out of tune?
A Synthaxe error!!!
What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a folk guitarist?
A rock guitarist can play all night without tuning and folk guitarist can tune all night without playing.
Just bought an an Indian dubstep album.
It has some pretty Sikh tunes.
Whats a United Airlines staff favourite tune?
Beat it - Michael Jackson
My optician told me my glasses needed some tuning...
... but now I can C# again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tonight's top story: A secret look into the s**... lives of unfaithful raisins
Stay tuned for tonight's currant affairs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You can't sing with a mouthful of chickpeas
so hummus a tune.
Who's David Camerons' favourite Looney Tunes character?
Porky Pig.
Lin-Manuel Miranda is a great musician
He's made a few good Hamil-tunes
George Clooney creates an iTunes playlist and fills it with various cartoon soundtracks.
Clooney Tunes
Today, I applied for a job at my local radio station...
...stay tuned for the story!
You can tune a piano...
But you can't tune a fish!
How does a physicist tune a piano?
With string theory.
I take the Christian approach to playing music at parties...
I pretend I'm just sharing my awesome tunes when you and I both know I'm forcing my music on you because I don't like yours.
How do you prepare musical seafood?
You tune a fish.
If you have an E85 tune on a Cobb accessport
You officially have corn on the cobb
Some mechanics can tune a car by ear.
You could say they perform feats of engine hearing.
My wife's female intuition is so finely tuned...
...she knows I'm wrong before I even open my mouth.
So I learned something yesterday when I tuned into the Golden Globes
Black dresses matter
How do you tune a Jedi tuba?
Use the fourth.
The problem with hummingbirds is.....
.....that I keep having to teach them the song lyrics, since they always seem to forget them. At least they still know the tune.
Opened up the shed today and realized my handsaw needed tuning
It was a bit sharp
What does a banjo sound like when it's completely in tune?
No one really knows.
An orchestra is tuning up for a challenging concerto; all but the first chair oboist.
She is not preparing for her performance. As the draw of the curtains approached, the conductor could no longer abide her inaction. He gritted, "why are you not preparing? Why haven't you habituated your instrument?" She retorted, "I don't believe in oboe warming."
A lot of people didn't know that Mozart's dog started to turn into a piece of fruit.
He composed a piece about it. It was a melon-collie tune....
So how is the new Looney Tunes video game?
I don't like it, it has a lot of bugs.
My driving instructor said that it was important to understand how to use universally understood hand signals.
Funny, his whole tune changed when I started flipping people off.
When you're so in tune with what's happening that you can't breathe...
Woke apnea
What's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a bucket of glue?
You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish.
What about the bucket of glue, you ask?
I knew you'd get stuck on that part.
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand...
Now the tune's stuck in your head... all day.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You should tune into the global warming debate
It's getting pretty **heated**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Amazon's f**... recognition matched 28 members of Congress to criminal mugshots
Now they just have to fine tune it a bit to pick up the other five hundred and seven.