Out Of State Friend Jokes
55 out of state friend jokes and hilarious out of state friend puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about out of state friend that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Out Of State Friend Short Jokes
Short out of state friend jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The out of state friend humour may include short friend request jokes also.
- I have a friend who really hates living in Central USA. She says she's in a constant state of Missouri.
- I have a friend who absolutely hates living in Central USA She lives in a constant state of Missouri.
- My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our buddy Ty is now the state boxing champion. People from China refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
- My friend said to me today: With what's happening in the United States it looks like they are cursed. As if they had built their state on an Indian cemetery !
- Canadian visits friend in the states Canadian: "How is it 30 degrees here in October?"
Friend: "The real question is, how is it 30 degrees THERE in October?" - One of my friends asked me the other day if my daughter knew what the 49th state in the USA was I have no idea I said
But Alaska - My friend asked me how I was enjoying my visit in Oklahoma's state capital I said, "It's an OK city."
- So I was talking to my friend about this new Jewish state... He didn't believe me when I initially told him,
so I said "Yeah man, Israel." - My friend's dad was NJ State Forester. His favorite joke was How can you tell a Dogwood tree? by its bark
- I saw this piece of statistic online, which stated that in every group of friends, there will be one gay guy. And I really hope it's Michael, he's cute.
Share These Out Of State Friend Jokes With Friends
Out Of State Friend One Liners
Which out of state friend one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with out of state friend? I can suggest the ones about friends show and friends inside.
- My vegan friend got hit by a car He's in a vegetative state.
- Do any of you know what the 49th U.S. State is? I'm Alaskan for a friend.
- My friends call me Captain Obvious It's because I state the obvious.
- My friend says Oklahoma is a terrible state. I think they're OK.
- I have a Mexican friend from the United States... He said he was Juan of US.
- Me and my friend were in a bar called the 50 states e**...
Cheeky Out Of State Friend Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about out of state friend you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dear friend jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make out of state friend pranks.
A Jewish man goes to his rabbi for advice..
"Rabbi, my son is considering turning to Christianity. How may I help him?"
The rabbi responds with "My friend, I too am having this problem. My son refuses to accept Judaism. Let us speak to the district clergy and seek advice together."
The two approach the clergy, and speak to one of the representatives. They tell him of their issues, and the representative solemnly states, "Brothers, it is a sad time indeed. My two sons have as well turned to praying to Christ, abandoning Judaism."
The clergy representative suggests the three Jews pray to God together, asking for their sons to become Jews again. Yet as they speak in their prayers, God says,
"Oh man, tell me about it. My son..."
So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...
...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.
During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.
"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"
"Jesus Christ?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two years or so. Awesome guy!"
Now this obviously starts a huge debate within the UN, as this information now has implications to everything they knew. The pope, however, is not exactly a happy person as his brain is on other information.
"EVERY TWO YEARS OR SO?!?" The pope exclaims, "We've still been waiting for his SECOND coming!"
Trying to calm down the pope, the aliens say "Well maybe he didn't like your chocolate."
The pope, upon hearing this news, takes a few moments to calm down. When he finally regains his composure, he states calmly, "Forgive me, but what does chocolate have anything to do with this?"
The aliens respond, "Well when he was on our planet, we would give him huge boxes of chocolates. Why, what did you guys do when he was here?"
Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...
And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.
"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."
"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.
"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"
She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."
"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"
"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
Three blondes stuck on a desert island.
When they find a magic lamp, after a quick rub out pops a genie.
"I shall grant you three wishes" he states.
The first blonde wished to be on a giant cruise ship.
With a click, she was gone.
The second blonde wished she was in a casino with millions to play with.
Click! She vanished.
The third blonde looked upset.
"Whats the matter" asked the genie.
"I dont want to be alone on this island, i wish my friends were back"
A Kermit the frog goes to get a loan at a bank.
He gets to the counter and states his request to the teller, Mrs. Whack.
Mrs. Whack: "Can you give a down payment or give us something to hold until your debt is paid off?"
The frog puts a tiny pink elephant on the counter in front of her. Mrs. Whack is very confused.
Kermit: "My father, m**... Jagger is friends with the manager. Go ask him if he will accept it."
So Mrs. Whack goes to the manager with the request and the pink elephant.
Manager: "It's a knick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old mans a rolling stone."
I hope this hasn't been posted before. I just remembered it while reading a joke about a bank. Sorry if this is a repost.
Memorizing the Capitols
A man tells his friend, "I've memorized the capitols of every state." His friend is suspicious, and asks, "What's the Capitol of New Hampshire?" The man laughs. "That's a trick question. There's two. N and H."
2 old ladies are in a car...
When a state trooper spots them on the highway. He notices that they are going very very slowly in the passing lane, and decides to pull them over because going too slowly can be just as dangerous as going to fast!
When he approaches the car, he notices that the old lady in the passenger's seat is visibly shaken.
The trooper asks "Ma'am, why are you going so slowly on the highway in the left-hand lane? This is the passing lane and your slow speed is endangering other drivers."
The old lady driving gives the trooper a look of bewilderment and says "but officer, the speed limit is very clearly 31 miles per hour, it says so on the sign just over there!"
"No ma'am, that is the highway number. The speed limit is actually 70 miles per hour. You should think about speeding it up to get your sick friend to the hospital!"
The shaken old lady replies "I am not sick, but we did just get off Highway 155"
What is famous?
Three friends were arguing what being famous really means.
The first one states, "True fame is when you get invited to the white house".
"That's nothing" says the second "True fame is when you are in the white house, the red phone rings, and no one is there to pick it up so you answer the phone".
"You're all wrong" protests the third, "True fame is when the red phone rings, the president answers it and claims its for you".
As a citizen from Baltic states
Hello Russia, my old friend
You've come to talk to me again
New SovietRussia vision softly creeping
You've spread your seeds while we were sleeping
And the vision that was planted in your brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
United States
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
My Japanese friend mailed himself to the United States.
When I went to pick him up, his box was in an area labeled "Dead Nippon Arrival".
A foreigner is talking to his friend in India.
He says, "Wow! This is a cool country! Not like my boring state. This is not my state."
And an Indian guy looks to him and says, "Namaste."
My family and I were at a friend's house for a barbecue when it started to rain.
Our son commented, "The rain is wet."
My friend laughed and said, "Wow, talk about stating the obvious!"
"He's always doing that," my wife said. "I don't know who he gets it from..." she laughed, pointing in my direction.
After a few seconds, I turned to my friend and said, "He gets it from me."
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United State
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.
One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'
The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
A man is pulled over at 2am by a state trooper
State trooper: Hey, where you headed at 2 am sir?
Elderly man: I'm just on my way to hear a lecture about the dangers of drinking and staying out late and smoking m**... with friends who are a bad influence.
State Trooper: Really? Who's giving that kind of lecture at 2 in the morning?
Elderly man: That would be my wife, officer.
My friend told me one of her life goals is to have s**... in every state...
I can help her with "unconscious"
The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.
The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.
"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."
"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."
"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"
"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."
"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."
"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"
"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"
She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.
"Who was that?"
"My son."
*gasp* "The doctor??"
"No, the other one."
Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States
In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China
My friend said Oklahoma was a terrible state
I don't know about that, it seemed pretty OK.
4 friends decide to emigrate from China to the United States
Their names are Chu, Tu, Bu, and Fu.
They have a discussion and decide that it may be a good idea to change their names to sound more western, so they improvise on their names.
Chu changes his name to Chuck,
Tu changes his name to Tuck,
Bu changes his name to Buck,
And Fu decides to go back to China
My friend asked me which US state was my favourite
I replied "pearl harbour"
He said "pearl harbour isn't a state"
I said "it was when the j**... left it"
A brunette and a blonde visit a motel
Before they go in, brunette warns her friend "Don't fill in your own address. Pick some European country. They won't know the difference.".
In the form brunette states her country of origin as "Hungary" while the blonde, trying to remain inconspicuous, writes "Thirsty".
A friend from the USA has problems differentiating states and countries...
So I explained to him that Georgia is a state, but Georgia on the other hand is a country.
Fun fact: It's no joke, that really happened, unfortunately.
My wife won best in show in the crafts division
But it turns out, it was an inside job.
Her friends and family stuffed the ballot box.
Deep State Fair.
Two friends are talking to each other, and one says to the other,
"I've been kinda worried about you man, you're kinda in a slump right now, you seem kinda depressed."
The other looked at him in a state of shock, and said,
"You're a great friend, but you don't have to worry about me, s**...'ll be the last thing I do."
I was telling my Canadian friend that Canada definitely wasn't made up of states...
He was having Nunavut.
My friend who died last week left a note stating that his girlfriend was the reason for his s**....
It was the only time in the last 3 years that they were both on the same page.
My friend Billy Bob and I visited a place where you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri. Billy Bob opened up and said that he was actually in a fourth state; crippling depression. I said, I'm so sorry
... but you can't count Missouri twice.
You can actually file a lawsuit against the federal government in the United States. It's a myth that you can't. All you have to do is simply take some specific medication.
And that medication, my friends, is Sudafed®
Pluses in the Soviet Union
Two Ukrainians are drinking together. Between shots of v**..., they are discussing many issues. One of the men was but a very young child when the Soviet Union dissolved and Ukraine and the other former member states gained their independence. Having very little recollection of what life was like back then, he asked the older man, Tell me, my good friend, were there pluses in the Soviet Union? The older man replied, There were. They were printed on batteries.
A soldier's wife has just returned from her insurance provider and is looking very, very unhappy
"What's the matter?" Her friend asked.
"I went to get my husband covered privately, but the fine print stated: no payouts when the holder dies as a result of an e**... and/or from injuries sustained in an e**...," she replied.
"Oh? So why would that make you unhappy?" Her friend asked.
"Well, it's too late to stop the freaking timer now!"
I told my friend that my girlfriend went on holiday to the west indies.
He said "Jamaica"...
I said, "No, she went of her own accord." I then added, "For her next holiday, she's off to one of the coldest states in America."
He said "which one"
I said "Alaska".
He said, "don't bother. I'll ask her, myself."
Hot dog
(Half of this joke is translated from another language so i don't know if it's as good as the original when told in English)
Two foreigners come to United States for the first time.
They have very little knowledge about U.S. culture,
So they stop at a fast food place.
One sees hot dog on the menu and is shocked.
He tells his friend " look they eat dogs in U.S."
Intrigued he says he will try it
When his order arrives, he turns to his friend and says:
With my luck guess which part of the dog i got.
