Out Of Context Jokes
68 out of context jokes and hilarious out of context puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about out of context that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Out Of Context Short Jokes
Short out of context jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The out of context humour may include short no context jokes also.
- I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
- There are two types of people in this world Those who can extrapolate information based off of the given context
- A context joke Have you ever noticed that when you say, "I hope you're hungry" in a place like America it's nice.
But if you say that in Africa it is a cruel joke. - My dentist told me to open up So I told him that I often have trouble putting peoples words into context. He said I can tell
- Whenever I use idioms in the wrong context... ...people look at me as if I'm as thick as thieves!
- Books written by criminals are so hard to reference Everytime you quote it, it's out of context
- Spelling test My daughter had a spelling test and asked me what does context mean. I asked her how is it being used?
- How are you today? Context - It's extremely early in the morning, I'm getting new tires put on my vehicle...
GF: How are you today?
Me: I'm wheel good.
^Please ^Help ^Me - How do you use a philosophy degree in a professional context? *Why* would you like fries with that?
- That's preponderance. It's so annoying when people use big words, but not in the right context. They're just trying to be ambidextrous.
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Out Of Context One Liners
Which out of context one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with out of context? I can suggest the ones about context and out the window.
- Can't wait to see Liam Neeson's new film Taken: Out Of Context.
- What do you call a letter sent by a criminal Context
- What's a redditor's worst enemy? Context!
- What do you call plagiarism of a novel written in prison? A story taken out of con-text!
- You know what's funny? An unexpected shift in context.
- Buddy in prison got his hands on a cell phone. Sent me a context.
- Why did the criminal write down the reasons for their crimes? Con-text
- I have a tendency to use words in a context they don't behold. I call it a freudian flip.
- Context is Everything The irony.
- Context is Key She's so coy. Is she part fish?!
- A good punchline doesn't need any context t**... sprinkles
Out Of Context Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about out of context you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean irrelevant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make out of context pranks.
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
My friend had some random guy come up to him in LAX and tell him this joke. No context, and no conversation afterwards. Just ten words and then gone. It's pretty much become my favorite joke because of that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did h**... eat?
Notseafood
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ellen
In a poll for the audience, Ellen asks for a show of hands how often they have s**... with their partners.
She asks, "Two or three times a week?" Some hands go up
Then, "Once a week?" Some other hands go up.
To be facetious, "Once a year?"
A gentlemen in the back shoots up and chants, "Me! Me!"
Ellen resonds, "Once a year? You seem pretty excited about that!"
The man shouts, "Yeah! And tonight's the night!"
(*Quoted out of context. Heard from a guest at my work, but had to share. Had me rollin.*)
Without context, where would we be?
Joke is the title. If you don't get it, think about it a bit.
Russian Yeltsin Joke
Here's one of those great old stale Russian jokes. Quick context; Yeltsin presided over the gutting and corruption of a lot of Russian government companies.
A man drives up to the Kremlin and parks his car outside. As he is getting out a policemen hurriedly flusters over and says "You can't park there! That's right under Yeltsin's window!"
The man looks perplexed for a second but then smiles and calmly replies:
"No need to worry officer, I made sure to lock the car"
I got it from a good book called Oilopoly, about Russia's oil and such things.
[Joke Request]: Death of Wife
I don't often see joke requests on here, so I'm not sure how kosher this is, but I'm looking for a very specific type of joke and was hoping you guys could help.
The basic premise is that a man's wife dies, his buddy empathizes and feels sorry for him, assuming that the man is sad, but the punchline reveals in some way that the man is quite content with the outcome (or something along those lines).
I know there are a million of these, with all sorts of different contexts and punchlines. But my mind is blanking and google hasn't helped.
In need of an eye-related joke.
I'm about to be doing a presentation for a bunch of 5th graders. The subject is eyes, and I'm wanting to end it with some kind of eye-related joke as they're walking away. It needs to make sense in context and be appropriate. Anyone have any ideas?
I need help thinking of a joke involving supernatural creatures
It needs to be a one or two liner, no knock knock jokes or riddles.
Context: I'm working at a summer camp and my call sign is Ghost. Tomorrow morning at the assembly, I'm going up and giving some world news (spoofs, not actual news). I want to say "hey guys, I'm Ghost with all your *other*worldly news", but I'm having trouble thinking of what to say after that. Any ideas would be great.
Tanslated East German Jokes
A man walks to the dock where he sees a big cargo ship. He shouts: "Where are you heading?"
The captain answers: "We are a trading ship loaded with industrial goods and are headed for St.Petersburg to trade with the sowjet union."
The man: "Oh and with what are you getting back?"
The captain: "If we are lucky we get back with our ship."
--------
The sowjet Union and the people's republic of China had some border conflict where Moscow threated to use nukes. After the US President said he would use nukes on Chinas side, they agree to negotiate a peace treaty.
China: We want 1000 new Diesel Motors.
Muscow: Done.
China: We also want 100 new trains.
Muscow: Done.
China: And finally 1000 tons of rice.
Muscow: Oh we cant do that, rice can not be produced in east Germany.
-----
The context is that the sowjet union took a huge part of Germany's production without asking or paying.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two friends, Louis and Moe, walk down a street discussing about a girl.
Louis has been on a bit of a dry spell and is craving some tangy p. Recently, he has caught the attention of this girl, who he thinks is hot. She has made s**... advances. Louis has yet to respond accordingly due to bad timing but wants to oblige her. Moe has heard from her ex-boyfriend that she is easily moisted but may not be too healthy, in regards to this context. He disapproves of Louis going through with it because he had experienced getting s**... once before.
So Moe says to him, Don't do it dude, trust me.
Louis thinks intently about it and says I could see where you're coming from…
But I could also see where she is coming from.
Geography teacher dropped this dad joke on us in the middle of class
Context: talking about permafrost. They way vegetation thaws out is called polygons (cause they look like them)
So he says: on the exam if I ask what polygons are... I'm asking about the permafrost ground. Not a dead parrot!
I think I'm too tired cause I laughed way too hard!
A collection of puns in one text.
[Context: Friend borrowed a great book by Yahtzee Croshaw, "Jam"]
Friend: I'm liking Jam a lot.
Me: Sweet. Glad you got absorbed in it. It's a berry good book. So many sticky situations for the seed of character development.
Friend: *turns off phone*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
quick historical Russian joke from early 90's
Quick context - Soviet Union just collapsed and Moscow streets are full of desperate people trying to some money to survive. A dialogue between street meat vendor (V), and a potential customer (C):
***
C: Was this meat barking or meowing?
V: It was asking s**... questions.
Context is important.
Context is important. It's fine to say "I'm coming!" when you're running to catch a bus, but totally inappropriate to say the same thing when you're on it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My fiancé said the funniest thing out of context today.
Lewis and Clark were so starved on their exploration, Sacajawea had a hard time understanding why they didn't eat s**....
Two scientists walk into a bar.
"I'll have H2O," says the first.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.
I WAS at my y' = 0 of performance in calc
Context: in university now. Can confirm. Am failing.
I finally met my pen pal who had recently got out of prison.
My parents didn't approve of him, but that was because they had no context.
Did you here about the guy that went to prison for writing?
I'm sorry, that was completely out of con-text.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pregnant elephants
What is harder then getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?
Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.
I'm taking a gunsmithing class and this was in the text book with no context. Just stuffed between a paragraph on s**... pins and one on replacing firing pins.
I bought a book on becoming a thief
But when i opened it there were only pictures, no con-text.
The Little Horse: An Inspirational Children's Story
[Parents, read this to your kids. I expect to see results. The last part is funnier with a long pause and not adding anything onto it, including context. I have no idea where I heard this one, but let me just say that while the concept is not mine, I did a whole lot of tweaking. Just a warning, it's super long, but it is meant to keep your interest as long as possible, so it's almost a legit story.]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
given the context, "hard at work" is something your boss would either really love or really hate for you to be
because erections
How do you tell a tall person on the internet?
Don't worry, they'll bring it up no matter the context.
Scientists use both positive and negative conditioning to teach cats to speak.
In a group of cats, a tutor would reward an individual cat who said "me" with the best food at feeding time. In another experiment, a researcher would apply mild electric shocks to the subject cat until it said "ow".
The lead scientist said they've had some success, however they weren't sure if the cats were using those words in the right context.
What did the cat say in the race car?
MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Context: My 5 year old told me this today. I'm guessing he didn't make it up...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 jokes for 1 post
Please bear with me, the second one makes more sense with the context that the first joke exists.
Two Cannibals are eating a Clown.
One looks over at the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"
Two Clowns are eating a Cannibal.
One looks over at the other and says "I think we ruined this joke."
Scientist: "Data on Global Warming should be ignored seriously when taken out of context"
GOP: Scientists agree with us that "data on global warming should not be ignored"!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Need jokes similar to this one
No time for context but the joke goes something like this:
Why don't you want to make a s**... mad?
They have friends in high places
Help a man out boys, I need this
What do you need in order to understand a joke about a criminal's written confession?
Context.
Context makes all the difference. Half-off is a great thing...
...when it comes to a sale, unless that sale is for a circumcision.
A renowned scientist is frustrated with the popularity of misinformation. In an interview, he tells the press my research is meaningless if taken out of context!
The next day, the public is taken by storm as headlines spread that Renowned Scientist Claims That His Research is Meaningless!
In another context, "Doom" could have been one of the scariest horror games of all time.
All you have to do is play one of the demons.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a woman that bounces from o**... to the next?
t**... pauline!
Context:Thought of this after sleeping with my roommate whom I slept with before she starting sleeping with the other roommate...
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Knock knock
Context my son was not in the mood for knock knock jokes
Me: Knock knock
Me: Knock knock
Me: Knock knock
Him: oh good they left