Oughta Jokes

What are some Oughta jokes?

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

Joe & Chester

Joe and Chester, two old-timers, are playing checkers. Joe says, "You know, Chester, as your next-door neighbor, I need to tell you somethin'. You should put up heavier curtains on your bedroom window."

"What makes you say that, Joe?"

"Well, sometimes at night I'll look over at your house, and I can see things I shouldn't oughta see."

"Like what?"

"Last night for instance... I looked over and could see you makin' love to your wife."

"Pffft! That shows how good your eyesight is. I wasn't even home last night!"

High Blood Pressure

When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."

"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.

"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."

"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"

He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"

What did the kinky vegetable say to the other vegetable.

You oughta choke me.

That's right

Half dressed redneck couple were sitting on couch watching news on TV, with the man's arm around the woman. The man says "Look at them homosexuals ruinin' the sanctity of our institution. We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man and one woman. Ain't that right, sweetheart?" The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."

I hate it when people say vaping is addictive...

It's not, I've been going it for 5 years I oughta know

How to make Oughta jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Oughta to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Oughta? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Oughta pick up lines to share with friends.

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