Oscar Winning Jokes
38 oscar winning jokes and hilarious oscar winning puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about oscar winning that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Oscar Winning Short Jokes
Short oscar winning jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The oscar winning humour may include short oscar nominated jokes also.
- I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but... I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- What is the Revenant about? The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.
- What's the difference between the Academy Awards and the Paralympics In the Paralympics Blade Runner is an Oscar winning performance
(I realise this joke is now three years too late) - I guess we know why Kevin Spacey doesn't win the Oscars race anymore... He always comes in a little behind.
- I saw that Get Out has a 40% Chance of Winning the Best Picture Oscar White People Finally get to see what it's like to be 3/5ths
- There should be a fictional biopic about Leonardo DiCaprio's fight for his oscar. But I guess whoever plays him will win an Oscar for it.
- What's the difference between The Oscars and The FIFA World Cup? A flop doesn't win an award at The Oscars.
- Trump: "La La Land did win the Oscar for Best Film" "...if you ignore the millions who voted illegally for Moonlight"
- What do you get when you put Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn's favourite cage for writing implements in a prison made out of pasta in Pennsylvania? Penn's pen pen in the Penn. penne pen.
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Oscar Winning One Liners
Which oscar winning one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with oscar winning? I can suggest the ones about oscar nomination and academy award.
- La La Land wins Oscar in Best Picture But Moonlight won the popular vote
- Why didn't Pixar win an Oscar in 2009 for Best Picture? There wasn't enough upvotes
- Fight club did not win an Oscar because... ...the academy couldn't talk about it.
- The Oscars If Tom Holland doesn't win an one.
- Kevin Spacey Wins at the Oscars!
- Why don't black people win at the Oscars? All of their best actors are in the NBA.
- Leonardo DiCaprio winning an Oscar! oh wait.
- What Types Of Hats Never Win Oscars? diCAPrios
- signs least likely to win an oscar 1. Leo
- Why couldn't Oscar Pistorius win the 100 meter sprint? He wasn't black.
Uproarious Oscar Winning Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about oscar winning you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean award winning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make oscar winning pranks.
Positive...
James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, h**...."
The captain of a very famous ship turns to his passangers and says: people I have some good and some bad news; which do you want first? They shout: the good!
Well, the movie that will be filmed about us will win 10 oscars!
Let us all bow our heads in a moment of silence...
For all the "DiCaprio not winning an Oscar" jokes we can no longer repost. Link your favorites here in Memoriam...
Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?
Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss
What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?
It's a fugazi.
Dr. King Schultz wins the Oscar..
The white man profiting yet again at the expense of the black man.
it seems Oscar Pistorious jokes still have legs..
Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't ever sneak up on Oscar Pistorius.
She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.
Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.
When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?
Absolutely shocking news from South Africa. White man arrested for m**....
Oscar Pistorius. Just because he has no legs doesn't mean he's unarmed.
Surely Oscar Pistorius cant be the first man to wake up legless on Valentines day and shoot all over the missus while imagining she's someone else!
I take it Oscar Pistorius's girlfriend bought him shoes for Valentines.
What do you call a room full of dead people? An Oscar Pistorius surprise birthday party... or... An Oscar Pistorius St Valentine's Day Massacre
Oscar Pistorius has an incredible record of wins to his name - Six gold medals, four silver medals and one argument.
A young woman is dead, the life of up‑and‑coming athlete, Oscar Pistorius, is ruined, and people are already making jokes about it. That's prosthetic... i mean pathetic.
I think it's safe to say that Oscar Pistorius won't be getting his leg over tonight.
Oscar Pistorious' lawyer is trying to claim mistaken identity
Personally I don`t think he has a leg to stand on
And the Oscar goes to ... Prison.
Oscar
• Roses are red,
Violets are glorious,
Don't try to surprise
Oscar Pistorius
• She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.
• Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.
• When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?
• Absolutely shocking news from South Africa. White man arrested for m**....
• Oscar Pistorius. Just because he has no legs doesn't mean he's unarmed.
• I take it Oscar Pistorius's girlfriend bought him shoes for Valentines.
• What do you call a room full of dead people? An Oscar Pistorius surprise birthday party.
• Oscar Pistorius has an incredible record of wins to his name. Six gold medals, four silver medals and one argument.
• A young woman is dead, the life of up and coming athlete, Oscar Pistorious, is ruined, and people are already making jokes about it. That's prosthetic... i mean pathetic.
• I think it's safe to say that Oscar Pistorius won't be getting his leg over tonight.
• Police have found a list of 20 other women that Pistorius planned to kill, they are calling it shinless list.
• And the Oscar goes to....... Prison.