Orthodox Church Jokes
6 orthodox church jokes and hilarious orthodox church puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about orthodox church that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Fun-Filled Orthodox Church Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What is a good orthodox church joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Socrates' Beloved
Socrates beloved dog died. He went to his Greek priest and asked if he could arrange a regular church service for his dearly departed. The priest was outraged and berated the parishioner for suggesting his dog receive holy services. Dismayed, Socrates turned away mumbling, 'Now what am I to do with the five thousand Euros we saved for the serviced?' 'Good Lord, my son, come back; why didn't you say he was Orthodox?'
How do you get fresh air into an Eastern Orthodox church?
You tap on an icon and a window opens up.
What is the difference between the Roman Catholic Church and the Russian Orthodox Church?
The Roman Catholics drink Holy Wine while the Russian Orthodox drink Holy v**....
Did you hear about Martin Luther's feud with the Greek Orthodox Church?
He nailed 95 Thessalonians to the church!
A priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk were talking
about how they paid themselves every week after the worshippers donated to the temple, church etc.
The Priest: I have a good method. I draw a circle on the ground, step in the middle and throw all the donated money up on the air. With the grace of God whatever falls in the circle is my salary and outside belongs to the church.
The monk: how interesting, I almost do the same thing. But I believe what falls within the circle belongs to the monastery and outside is mine.
The rabbi chimes in, oh my God, we all think alike. I do the same thing. I draw a circle, get in the middle of it and throw all the donations in the air. What stays up in the air belongs to the temple and what falls on the ground is mine!
Note: Before labeling me an anti-semite, be advised my uncle (an Orthodox Rabbi) is the one who told me this joke, which he was told 50+ years ago in Yeshiva.
My Macedonian grandfather's favourite joke
An Orthodox Priest, a Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are talking about how they divide up the money they get in collections from their congregations.
Catholic Priest: "To divide up the money, we draw two circles on the ground; one small one inside one big one. We throw the money up in the air, and whatever lands in the big circle we give to use for the church, and whatever lands in the small circle we keep for ourselves."
Orthodox Priest: "Yes - we do something like that too, except, whatever lands in the small circle we give to God, and whatever is in the big circle we keep to ourselves."
Rabbi: "Well, you see, we too do something similar. We draw two circles on the ground - one small one inside one big one. And then we throw the money up in the air.... and whatever God wants, he takes!"
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