orphan Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious orphan puns

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb

I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"?
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents."

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50s Soviet joke

Who is your mother?

Our great Soviet country.

Who is your father?

Our dear comrade Stalin.

What's your greatest desire?

Becoming an orphan.

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Old soviet joke.

Who is your mother?

Our great Soviet country.

Who is your father?

Our dear comrade Stalin.

What's your greatest desire?

Becoming an orphan.

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Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?

A: Because they don't know where home is.

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Why did the semen cross the road?

Because you wore the wrong sock today.

While I'm up here on the moral highground, let me tell you about poor little Ukurugenzi.

Ukurugenzi is an 8-year old Kenyan orphan who walks 11 miles to his mud-hut school every day. With your donation of just 25 cents a day, we can buy a whip and make that lazy bastard run.

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What did one orphan say to the other?

Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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I saw a raggedy little boy on the street and asked him if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents."

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Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is

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I passed a kid sat on the side of the road dressed in rags earlier.

I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He replied, "Yes. What gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents."

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Why is it good being an orphan

Every bag of chips is family sized

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Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?

Because it can't hit home

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Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him "go big or go home", he only had one option.

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Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Please give just a small donation of $10....

...and we will send you the video; it's fucking hilarious!

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The orphanage i run, burned down today with the lives of sixty children

Thank fuck i don't have to tell their parents ....

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What is an orphans favorite beer?

Fosters

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I met a little boy today.

He was sitting on the curb, dressed in rags. He had his face in his hands and it looked like he was crying.


I felt kinda bad he was all alone, so I went and sat down beside him.


I said, "Are you an orphan, little guy?"


As he looked up, his eyes were still red and his cheeks still wet. He managed to crack a small smile.


"Yeah. What gave me away?"


I leaned in close and whispered,



"Your parents."

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Why did the orphan turn to a life of crime?

To find out what it was like to be Wanted for once in his life.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

They don't know where home is.

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Where did the orphans go after the Orphanage blew up?

Everywhere

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What type of flour do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

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Why are orphans terrible at baseball?

They've never known what home is.

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Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie?

Because it was PG

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What did the orphan poker player say?

Will you raise me?

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What did one orphan say to the other?

Robin get in the Bat mobile.

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A Russian university valedictorian (from my Russian history prof)

A valedictorian at a Russian university was giving his graduation speech. As a finale, the Party Secretary who was in attendance asked the young man two rehearsed questions: "Who is your mother?"

"The Party," the young man replied.

"And who is your father?" the Party Secretary asked next.

"Lenin," the valedictorian said.

Then, unrehearsed, the Party Secretary asked a third question: "And what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"An orphan."

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Why aren't orphans good at baseball?

Becuase they don't know where home is

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A man sees a small boy begging for money

He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks "what gave me away?"

The man responds "your parents"

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind orphan get for Christmas?

*Cancer!*

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What do you call the son of two gay black men?

Orphan

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An orphan had a rough year...

He had been adopted three times. The first family had a dog that the boy loved, but the father beat the dog daily. The boy reported the family, and he returned to the foster home. The second family had a loving mother that took care of the boy, but the father beat his wife daily. The boy reported the father, and the mother was forced to return the boy to the foster home. The third family seemed very nice at first, but when the father got drunk, he beat the boy. Yet again, the boy reported the father, and returned to the foster home. At this point, the boy was feeling like he would never find a home he could stay in. But a local judge, hearing his story, wanted to give the boy a Christmas present. He visited the boy, and asked what he wanted for Christmas. The boy said, "I want to be adopted by the Houston Texans." Confused, the judge asks the boy why he would want to be adopted by a sports team. The boy smiles and yells, "Cause they don't beat anybody."

[Insert the listener's favorite sports team for bonus laughs]

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Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They have no idea where home is.

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Why do orphans like tennis?

Only place they can get love

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My ex was orphan as a child

I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I.

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What do you call a black child with 2 dads?

An Orphan

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Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option.

(I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

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What are the most funny Orphan jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Orphan? Well, here are the best Orphan dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Orphan pick up lines to share with friends.

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