Orphan Jokes

What are some Orphan jokes?

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb

I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"?
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents."

50s Soviet joke

Who is your mother?

Our great Soviet country.

Who is your father?

Our dear comrade Stalin.

What's your greatest desire?

Becoming an orphan.

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?

A: Because they don't know where home is.

What did one orphan say to the other?

Robin, get in the Batmobile!

I saw a raggedy little boy on the street and asked him if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents."

Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is

I passed a kid sat on the side of the road dressed in rags earlier.

I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He replied, "Yes. What gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents."

Why is it good being an orphan

Every bag of chips is family sized

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?

Because it can't hit home

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him "go big or go home", he only had one option.

What is an orphans favorite beer?


I met a little boy today.

He was sitting on the curb, dressed in rags. He had his face in his hands and it looked like he was crying.

I felt kinda bad he was all alone, so I went and sat down beside him.

I said, "Are you an orphan, little guy?"

As he looked up, his eyes were still red and his cheeks still wet. He managed to crack a small smile.

"Yeah. What gave me away?"

I leaned in close and whispered,

"Your parents."

Why did the orphan turn to a life of crime?

To find out what it was like to be Wanted for once in his life.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Where did the orphans go after the Orphanage blew up?


What type of flour do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

Why are orphans terrible at baseball?

They've never known what home is.

Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie?

Because it was PG

What did the orphan poker player say?

Will you raise me?

A Russian university valedictorian (from my Russian history prof)

A valedictorian at a Russian university was giving his graduation speech. As a finale, the Party Secretary who was in attendance asked the young man two rehearsed questions: "Who is your mother?"

"The Party," the young man replied.

"And who is your father?" the Party Secretary asked next.

"Lenin," the valedictorian said.

Then, unrehearsed, the Party Secretary asked a third question: "And what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"An orphan."

A man sees a small boy begging for money

He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks "what gave me away?"

The man responds "your parents"

What do you call the son of two gay black men?


An orphan had a rough year...

He had been adopted three times. The first family had a dog that the boy loved, but the father beat the dog daily. The boy reported the family, and he returned to the foster home. The second family had a loving mother that took care of the boy, but the father beat his wife daily. The boy reported the father, and the mother was forced to return the boy to the foster home. The third family seemed very nice at first, but when the father got drunk, he beat the boy. Yet again, the boy reported the father, and returned to the foster home. At this point, the boy was feeling like he would never find a home he could stay in. But a local judge, hearing his story, wanted to give the boy a Christmas present. He visited the boy, and asked what he wanted for Christmas. The boy said, "I want to be adopted by the Houston Texans." Confused, the judge asks the boy why he would want to be adopted by a sports team. The boy smiles and yells, "Cause they don't beat anybody."

[Insert the listener's favorite sports team for bonus laughs]

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They have no idea where home is.

Why do orphans like tennis?

Only place they can get love

My ex was orphan as a child

I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they can never find home

What do you call a black child with 2 dads?

An Orphan

Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option.

(I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

What's the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

An orphan doesn't have a home to run to.

Edited from my mistake earlier today: what do paedophiles and napalm have in common?

They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under 30 seconds.

What's the best part about being an orphan?

All your chips and candy bars are family sized.

Why don't orphans play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

Batman, but it's a Japanese action film

Mighty Orphan Power Ranger

A teacher in the Soviet union yells at her student - who's your father?

**Stalin** says the child.

Who's your mother?

**Mother Russia**

What do you want to be when you grow up?

**An orphan!**

My wife opened one of her birthday presents early, saying that it was "practically screaming out at her"

That's the last time I buy her an orphan

What do you call a virgin redneck?

An orphan

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why did most orphans become prostitutes?

Because they wanted a daddy.

When you feel like beating up someone, beat an orphan

What is he going to do? Tell his parents?

Where do all the orphan chickens end up?

Foster Farms

What did one male orphan say to another when they were forced to share a bed?

"No home bro."

What do you call an orphan who suffers from horrific parental abuse?

A paradox.

What do pedophile sex-tourists and napalm have in common?

They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under a minute.

What do you do when you are bored?

You punch an orphan.
Don't worry, he won't tell his parents.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile?

"Robin, let's get in the Batmobile."

Bonus joke:

What did one orphan say to the other orphan as they got into their car?

"Robin, let's get in the Batmobile."

Little boy, are you an orphan?

"Yes. What gave me away?" "Your parents"

What do orphans use to bake?

Self-raising bread.

- Mom, mom ! My classmates call me an orphan !


What does an orphan and a bottle of champagne have in common?

They both lost their pop.

What did the crippled orphan baby get on Christmas?


Why can't orphans use any web browsers effectively?

Because they can't access any of the homepages.

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

Why were the orphans thrown out of the restaunt

Because it Was a family restraunt

Friends are like family

...Too bad I'm an orphan.

Wanna know why it's great to be an orphan?

All bags of chips are family size.

What do you call an orphan named Rose?

Self-raising flour

If you accidentally hurt an orphan, dont worry...

What will they do? Tell their parents?

What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan?

No home oh

What did the orphan get for Christmas?


Because he's Jewish.

I've had chronic chest pain and headaches for a while so I went to a family doctor for an X-ray, but he wouldn't help me.

I'm a orphan.


What they are without is apparent

Why is Annie the Orphan crying?

There was a solar eclipse.

Why are orphans so easy to bully?

They can't tell their parents.

Can orphans...

eat at a family restaurant?

What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?

Father Les.

And yes, as a matter of fact, I am a dad.

My dad used to say, "Marry an orphan...

Then you'll be marrying the whole family."

What did the orphan get for Christmas?


How many orphans does it take to paint a house?

It depends on how hard you SLAM them against the walls

Punch an orphan

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Remember when Anty died in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids?

I wonder if he left behind any little orphan anties.

What is your best orphan/dark joke?

This will hopefully be sfw but my have strong words.

So I was walking through the town centre the other day...

I came across a kid at the side of the road, dressed in rags and looking completely miserable.

I said, "You must be an orphan!".

He replied, "Yes! What gave me away?"

"...your parents."

How to make Orphan jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Orphan to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Orphan? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Orphan pick up lines to share with friends.

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