Orphan Jokes

Following is our collection of adoption puns and wav one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Orphan jokes for adults, dirty tantrum jokes and clean orphanage dad gags for kids.

The Best Orphan Puns

The f in orphan stands for family


Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb

I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"?
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents."

50s Soviet joke

Who is your mother?

Our great Soviet country.

Who is your father?

Our dear comrade Stalin.

What's your greatest desire?

Becoming an orphan.

What a selfie called taken by an orphan?

A family photo.

What did one orphan say to the other?

Robin, get in the Batmobile!

I saw a raggedy little boy on the street and asked him if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents."

Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is

I passed a kid sat on the side of the road dressed in rags earlier.

I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He replied, "Yes. What gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents."

Why is it good being an orphan

Every bag of chips is family sized

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?

Because it can't hit home

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him "go big or go home", he only had one option.

How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?

It doesn't have a home page.

What is an orphans favorite beer?


Why did the orphan turn to a life of crime?

To find out what it was like to be Wanted for once in his life.

I met a little boy today.

He was sitting on the curb, dressed in rags. He had his face in his hands and it looked like he was crying.

I felt kinda bad he was all alone, so I went and sat down beside him.

I said, "Are you an orphan, little guy?"

As he looked up, his eyes were still red and his cheeks still wet. He managed to crack a small smile.

"Yeah. What gave me away?"

I leaned in close and whispered,

"Your parents."

What is the difference between a prince, a bald headed man, a monkey and an orphan?

The first is an heir apparent, the second has no apparent hair, the third has hairy parent and the last has nary a parent.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Where did the orphans go after the Orphanage blew up?


What type of flour do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

Why are orphans terrible at baseball?

They've never known what home is.

Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie?

Because it was PG

What did the orphan poker player say?

Will you raise me?

Why do orphans like playing tennis?

It's the only love they'll ever get.

Why do orphans love boomerangs?

Because they actually come back.

A man sees a small boy begging for money

He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks "what gave me away?"

The man responds "your parents"

One man's trash is another man's treasure

Wonderful saying, horrible way of finding out you're an orphan

What do you call the son of two gay black men?


Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They have no idea where home is.

Why do orphans like tennis?

Only place they can get love

My ex was orphan as a child

I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I.

What do you call a black child with 2 dads?

An Orphan

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they can never find home

Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option.

(I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

What's the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

An orphan doesn't have a home to run to.

Edited from my mistake earlier today: what do paedophiles and napalm have in common?

They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under 30 seconds.

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

To the Batmobile!

What's the best part about being an orphan?

All your chips and candy bars are family sized.

Why don't orphans play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

If you're ever bored

Just go punch an orphan, what is he gonna do? Tell his parents?

Batman, but it's a Japanese action film

Mighty Orphan Power Ranger

A teacher in the Soviet union yells at her student - who's your father?

**Stalin** says the child.

Who's your mother?

**Mother Russia**

What do you want to be when you grow up?

**An orphan!**

My wife opened one of her birthday presents early, saying that it was "practically screaming out at her"

That's the last time I buy her an orphan

"What is a cannibal, Johnny?" asked the teacher.

"What is a cannibal, Johnny?" asked the teacher.

"I don't know, sir," replied Johnny.

"Well, what would you be if you ate your mother and father?"

"An orphan, sir."

Why did most orphans become prostitutes?

Because they wanted a daddy.

When you feel like beating up someone, beat an orphan

What is he going to do? Tell his parents?

What do you call a virgin redneck?

An orphan

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What did one male orphan say to another when they were forced to share a bed?

"No home bro."

What do you call an orphan who suffers from horrific parental abuse?

A paradox.

Where do all the orphan chickens end up?

Foster Farms

What does a person with Alzheimers and an orphan have in common?

They both don't know their parents

For orphans ..

every bag of chips is familly sized

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

Neither can see their parents

What do you do when you are bored?

You punch an orphan.
Don't worry, he won't tell his parents.

What do pedophile sex-tourists and napalm have in common?

They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under a minute.

I've been bullying this kid

Good thing hes an orphan. Who's he gonna tell, his parents?

Why is the I phone x the first phone an orphan gets?

Because there is no home button

My dad used to say, "Marry an orphan...

Then you'll be marrying the whole family."

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile?

"Robin, let's get in the Batmobile."

Bonus joke:

What did one orphan say to the other orphan as they got into their car?

"Robin, let's get in the Batmobile."

What does an orphan and a bottle of champagne have in common?

They both lost their pop.

Little boy, are you an orphan?

"Yes. What gave me away?" "Your parents"

Why were the orphans thrown out of the restaunt

Because it Was a family restraunt

- Mom, mom ! My classmates call me an orphan !


If you accidentally hurt an orphan, dont worry...

What will they do? Tell their parents?

What do orphans use to bake?

Self-raising bread.

What did the crippled orphan baby get on Christmas?


Why can't orphan exit out of an app

He can't find home

Why can't orphans use any web browsers effectively?

Because they can't access any of the homepages.

Friends are like family

...Too bad I'm an orphan.

Wanna know why it's great to be an orphan?

All bags of chips are family size.

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

Why didn't Timmy get his parents Christmas presents?

He's an orphan.

What do you call an orphan named Rose?

Self-raising flour

There is an abundance of needy jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 73 funniest jokes and orphan puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any adopt witze you can hear about orphan.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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