Original Jokes

142 original jokes and hilarious original puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about original that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Bring laughter to your next event with these original jokes! This article gives you a selection of the funniest, most authentic original yo mama, Christmas, best man, chuck norris and ginger jokes. Find the perfect joke for any occasion and make your audience laugh originally with this frontpage-worthy collection.

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Funniest Original Short Jokes

Short original jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The original humour may include short unique jokes also.

  1. Twenty years ago, my friend made a website where you compare getting high from different drugs. It was the original trip advisor.
  2. Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.
  3. What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? "The girls get older, but he stays the same age"
    -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)
  4. What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common? They both slowly remove clogs.
    I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
    Thanks for the gold !
  5. Why did the match factory burn down? Because the workers went on strike
    I just thought of this, not sure whether its an original joke
  6. Tesla founder elon musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange You'd think he was from mad-at-gas-car.
  7. Did you know that trampolines were originally called jumpolines? Until your mom got on one.
  8. What do you call someone who likes to add numbers when the weather is warm? A summer
    (I thought of this, hope it's original)
  9. I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought
  10. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was originally intended to be for Wii U But mid-way through development they made the switch.

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Original One Liners

Which original one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with original? I can suggest the ones about pure and native.

  1. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind
  2. What happened when Tinker bell couldn't find a bathroom? [Original] She Peter Pans
  3. His original name was John Kennedy They added the F later to pay respects
  4. \r\jokes has the funniest most original content But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.
  5. The original name for Jedis was "Force Kin". I wonder why they rolled it back?
  6. What's a flower plus a t-Rex? A squished flower!
    (An original from my 5 year old)
  7. I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work, said the disgusting bartender.
  8. The inventor of the umbrella was originally going to call it the brella But he hesitated.
  9. Who were the first people with six packs? Ab originals
  10. I started up a poster design company called "Original Poster" We don't deliver.
  11. What did the pirate yell when he found out the joke was not original? ARRRRRRHH/Jokes
  12. [original] Why don't you serve police unfiltered coffee? Because that's grounds for arrest.
  13. My neighbour says his frog is of Ukrainian origin. I however believe it was a tad pole
  14. Who won the original Tour De France? The 7th Panzer division
  15. the original name for the ps5 was pspspspsps but it kept attracting cats

Original Christmas Jokes

Here is a list of funny original christmas jokes and even better original christmas puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along.. he can call him missile toe.
    Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.
  • How come there are like a thousand songs about Christmas but only one song about the boys being back in town? This is not original

Original Sin Jokes

Here is a list of funny original sin jokes and even better original sin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "Here lies Tom B. Stone" "He hated puns till' his dying day."
    Source: Divinity: Original Sin
Original joke, "Here lies Tom B. Stone"

Original Yo Mama Jokes

Here is a list of funny original yo mama jokes and even better original yo mama puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why a flat earther can't joke about your mom. She's so fat, they can't see her curvature from ground level.
    (My attempt at an original "yo mama joke")
  • An original joke (50% of it is) What do you call it when a cow falls over?
    Ground beef.
    What do you call it when yo mama falls over?
    You don't call it you call emergency earthquake services.
Original joke, An original joke (50% of it is)

Howlingly Hilarious Original Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about original you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean creator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make original pranks.

I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of Free Bird being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.

Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.

Who runs Mexican Amazon?

Jeff Pesos
It's a silly joke but I thought of it on my own today! I found a 200 peso bill on the ground today and I was saying pesos in different accents out loud with a coworker when the joke popped into my head. I don't think I've heard it anywhere before. After I got home and searched it here I realised it hasn't been told this way on this subreddit yet either. So I'm claiming it as an original joke.

In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay s**... scene between the two straight leads. It was purposely put there as a test to see if studios actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein was the only producer who mentioned the scene

Weinstein said that the s**... scene usually takes place before he approves a movie

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.
"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".
"I'll have an Americano," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"
The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.
"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.

TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.


Any more oxymorons?

* Only choice
* Civil war
* Definite possibility
* Grow smaller
* Random order
* Old news
* True fiction
* Virtual reality
* Working vacation
* Exact estimate
* Original copies
* Pretty ugly
* Fully empty

I went for an audition at a talent agency today.

They asked "so what's your special talent?"
I said "I do bird impressions!"
They said "sorry, that's not original we have had loads of them!"
I said "fair enough!!"...
and flew out the window.

Why didn't the gay pirate have a parrot?

Because he preferred a c**...-er-two!
This is my first original pirate-themed joke. I have more on the way. Love it? Hate it? Let me know!

Wife: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

Me: Well, it has to do with the original animal vectors and -
Wife: No! For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.

A co-worker found out I'm 'semi-retired.' "What's that like?" he asked.

"It's like being semi-e**.... It ain't too hard, but you still can't do what you want."
Original content, as far as I know. I actually said this at work today. We laughed and laughed. Then I cried a little.

A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...

The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)

My dad and i were driving past a cemetery

When suddenly my dad said in a serious toned voice
"I know something you don't know about this place.The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried in here"
And i was really confused so i asked why and he said
"Because they are still alive."
Original: tumblr user @hello.

the joke is originally in persian but i think it works in english too

kid:"hey mom are you adding carrots to that soup?"
mom:"yeah, i know you dont like carrots but dont worry, you wont taste the carrot at all"
kid:"then why do you add carrots?"
mom:"because it makes it tastier"

A man went skydiving...

A man went skydiving for the first time.
The pilot went to find the man's wife. I've got some bad news, some good news, some even worse news and some better news.
Oh, my gosh...what happened?
Your husband fell out of the plane. The good news is that he had a parachute on. The worse news is that the parachute didn't open.
The wife had nearly fainted from shock.
The better news is that we hadn't taken off yet.

An original joke from my 7 year old daughter

Did you hear the joke about the piece of paper?
Don't worry about it, it's tearable!
{I'm sure someone in history has used this pun, but I was pretty impressed with her effort!}

My friend failed his Aboriginal Music class...

I asked him "Did'ja redo it?"

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those who thought they knew what the punchline would be, and those who are now searching for the original joke.

My first original joke.

What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous??
It fro's up.

1948; "Did you hear,the Jewish people finally got their own country? Is this real?" "Yes,it is real!"

My best original joke, taa daaa. !!!

I need a funny punchline...

My bf is going on a trip and I thought it'd be fun to give him a joke and tell the punchline when he gets home. Only thing is we were on a time crunch and I just said the first thing that came to mind which was:
What do you call a sheep with 3 legs?
I have absolutely no idea so if anyone can think of a punchline for this please help me.
An original joke for you as thanks:
Why was the caribou wearing a disguise?
He wanted to remain anonymoose.

What type of fuel do painters prefer?

Whatever makes the van gogh..
-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as s**... as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.

I just found out that Miles Teller, the actor in Top Gun,uses a stage name.

His original name was Odometer.

What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman

An Englishman is telling a joke to a Frenchman, he says what did the Frenchman say to the Englishman. The Frenchman says he doesn't know, but the Englishman insists that he guesses.
After a few frustrated guesses the Frenchman eventually caves in, annoyed that the Englishman doesn't seem to understand how jokes work.
'I give up'
The Englishman smiles and walks off.
[original joke I just made up, [f]irst time]

Einstein walks into a bar...

The bartender asks "What's the deal, Einstein? You look like you're out of energy tonight."
Einstein responds: "Eh, no matter."
[BTW this was original]

Okay, I thought this up on the way to work this morning and I'm like 40% sure it's original.

What did one patch of moss say to the other when asked what he thought of the summer weather?
He said: "I'm lichen it so far!"
Now you're allowed to laugh, if you'd like.

Hot dog

(Half of this joke is translated from another language so i don't know if it's as good as the original when told in English)
Two foreigners come to United States for the first time.
They have very little knowledge about U.S. culture,
So they stop at a fast food place.
One sees hot dog on the menu and is shocked.
He tells his friend " look they eat dogs in U.S."
Intrigued he says he will try it
When his order arrives, he turns to his friend and says:
With my luck guess which part of the dog i got.

How did h**... originally get into power?

"Let's make Germany great again"

Fun history fact: The Trampoline was originally sold under the name "Jumpoline"

. . .until June 15th, 1982, when your mom got on one.

What's one thing that women hate more than being stared at?

When you stare at the woman standing next to them.
That's my original for the year!

What does a mermaid wear to a Maths class ?

An algaebra.
Note: Not my original. I had read this somewhere a few years ago. Kudos to the original creator.

My life is like a romantic comedy

Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.
> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore!

TIL: The vasectomy procedure was pioneered by the Greek physician, Euclipides.

His original instructions were as follows: "Euclipides nuts."

What do you call a passive communist country?

The so-be-it union (one of my original jokes)

One of Shakespeare's original pencils is going up for auction

Problem is its very chewed, so nobody can tell if its 2b or not 2b

What do you call a Dent that looks better from a different angle?


\*My first 100% original dad joke. I am proud of me\*

I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee..., black, and strong
^(possibly the original)
...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.
...50% alcohol.
...all over my g**... while I'm trying to drive.
...I don't like coffee.
...imported from micronesia., fresh and in the breakroom.
...huge and cheap with room for cream.
...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian. a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)
...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.

Have you ever noticed that Jesus on the cross always looks great, with amazing abs?

He was the original cross-fit.

Did you know there are tents surviving that Genghis Khan used to sleep in? I just scored one on eBay!

Thought you would appreciate my original Kahn tent.

The monks were in the monastery copying those beautiful illuminated manuscripts.

One young monk suggested that, since they'd been copying copies, it might be time to go back to the original and make sure that their copies were correct. The abbot agreed and sent the monk down into the cellar to examine the original. The monk was gone for a long time, and finally the abbot went to look for him. He found the monk in tears and asked what was wrong. Through his tears, the monk blurted out, The word was celebrate!

A blonde tells her friend

"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"6 months"
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish

Two cats are swimming across a river

One is called "One Two Three" the other is called "Un Deux t**...." Which cat survives?
"One Two Three"
because un deux t**... cat sank
Disclaimer; not original, just saw it online and thought you'd all appreciate

Why were hurricanes and tropical storms originally always given women's names?

Because when they first come along it's all wet and wild with lots of suckin and blowin, but by the time it's over and they leave - your house is gone, your boat's gone, your truck's gone...

Did you hear about the lady who fell in love with a ginger ale salesman? [original!]

She was Schwepped off her feet

You can never just do a little laundry.

You always have to do loads of it.
Just came up with this while doing laundry. I'm sure it's not original though.

Larry Nassar would have gotten away with it....

if it weren't for those medaling kids!
Showerthoughts removed my original, so going for gold here.

TIL: Units of measurement like feet and inches were originally based on the current monarch's sizes

That's why they were called rulers.

Why do Aboriginals hate snow?

Because it's white and on their land.

Woman buys parrot

A woman walks into a pet store, and is perusing through the various animals when she comes across one of the most beautiful parrots she has ever seen. She's taken aback by the tropical beauty of this bird, and when she looks on the price tag on the cage it says 50$. The woman turns to the man at the front counter and asks "Why is a bird this beautiful being sold for this little?" The man looks up and says "Oh, that bird was originally kept in a house of prostitution, and boy does he have a mouth". The woman takes the words to heart but buys the bird anyway. She buys it, and takes it home with her. She puts the bird in the living room. Suddenly the bird squawks "NEW HOUSE NEW MADAME!" The woman is put off by this but she figures that in a few days the bird will get over it. Her daughters come home from school and the bird speaks again "NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAME, NEW GIRLS!" Again the woman is off put but she assures her kids that the bird will grow out of its old habits. The woman's husband gets back in from a day at work. The parrot takes one look at him and squawks:

Why shouldn't you rip up a dollar when someone asks for change?

Because it doesn't make cents!
(Thought up on my way home, may not be original, but gave me that corny smile 🤦‍♂️)

Why do french people look so depressed ?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is England

(stolen from twitter, no idea if it's an original)

A new monk arrives at the monastery.....

and is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that instead of copying the original books , they are copying the copies.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books sobbing. He asks what's wrong.
"The word is celebrate. " says the old monk with tears in his eyes.

An 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with no memory and brain damage.

The doctor asked him a series of questions:
Do you know where you are?
I'm at Rex Hospital.
What city are you in?
Do you know who I am?
Dr. Hamilton.
the old grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge.
guys i have copied this joke and edited formating. its not my original creation.

[ORIGINAL JOKE] A secretary is like...

a pencil sharpener, you can't really say it's yours until you screw it on your desk.

I get erections at funerals. "Mourning wood," if you will.

It's hard to come up with an original e**... joke. The competition is stiff.

Can a Mongolian make you laugh?

Genghis Kahn.
(No idea if this is an old joke or not. I told it in a dream I had last night so I'm claiming as original).

A broke man goes to a famous lawyer...

"I have no money but I can give you an original Picasso drawing"
"That sounds good! What are you accused of?"
"stealing a Picasso drawing."

My Gramps just passed away. This was his favorite joke to tell.

*Sorry for the meta of this, I'm still reeling a little. I post two or three (or ten--sorry for breaking rules) jokes on this sub every day. A lot of them are simply awful, but they're all original, and my Gramps was a huge inspiration for me becoming a comedy "writer." But this is an old joke, and he loved to tell it every time I saw him. He knew quite a few others too, but this was always my favorite.*
A man is out on a golf course, when he hears someone shout "FORE!"
He looks this way and that but doesn't see the ball, until *WHACK!* He shouts and curses and moans, holding both hands over his c**....
"Oh, you poor thing!" a woman cries, running over to assist him. She gets on her knees and starts to rub his groin with her hands. "Is that better?"
He shakes his head, so she pulls his pants down and starts rubbing it in earnest. After a few minutes, she smiles and says, "That seemed to help a lot!"
"Oh, it was wonderful!" he says. "But the ball hit my thumb!"


I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I said, "Die, heretic s**...!" and pushed him off.
~Emo Philips

My girlfriend is in a band

My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit.
It was a cymbal of my love.
I hope this is an original joke.

So this doctor walks into a bar and he orders a beer...

**Feminist:** Why isn't the doctor a woman? Does it have to be a man? You know women can be doctors too!
**Me:** Okay, this FEMALE doctor orders a beer-
**Feminist:** Why is she drinking a beer in a bar? She's obviously an intelligent woman for being a doctor, why would she subject herself to such a male environment?
**Me:** Okay, she's not in a bar, she's um, at a… baseball game, and she orders a beer from one of the stands-
**Feminist:** Why would a strong independent intelligent woman doctor be supporting a male dominated sport?!!!!!! That's so oppressive! The men will look at her so demeaningly with no respect for what she has achieved!
**Me:** … Okay fine, I just won't tell the joke then.
**Feminist:** If you seriously can't tell a joke without being sexist then you're not actually funny at all. I bet the original male doctor was White too, you racist.

A monk decides to become a scribe...

When he arrives at the scribes' church, he meets the bishop and begins his apprenticeship. While checking a scroll, he has question and approaches the bishop for help. The bishop decides to check the original scroll in the catacombs, so he descends into the basement of the church. Several hours later, since he hasn't returned, the monk goes down into the catacombs to find him.
The monk finds the bishop laying on the ground in the fetal position, clutching the scroll to his chest and sobbing. With tears in his eyes, he looks up at the monk and says...
"It says 'celebrate'."

I played bass on the original s**... Doo theme song way back in 1969 and then went on to play with Metallica. AMA!

Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the s**... Doo theme song, or in any band for that matter, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!

EA Games and Ubisoft walk into a bar...

Act now and for just $49.99 you too can experience the intensity and originality of this punchline!

A little girl asks her father where people came from.

He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.
Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"
Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.
No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family

How do computers measure pain?

(Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

I want to open i pizza place called Original Pizza, so that way if anybody asks if we deliver...

yes, OP delivers.

Original joke, I want to open i pizza place called Original Pizza, so that way if anybody asks if we deliver...

jokes about original