Ordinary Jokes
40 ordinary jokes and hilarious ordinary puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ordinary that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ordinary Short Jokes
Short ordinary jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ordinary humour may include short normal jokes also.
- How do winter solstice celebrants turn ordinary ice into special ice? By adding a little bit of sol-stice.
- The one thing I hate about superhero movies is how unrealistic they are, Like what are the chances that a billionaire would do anything to help ordinary people?
- (Joke made-up by my 9 yrs old) If ordinary underwear are called under-pants and a storms underwear are called thunder-pants, what do you call a super heroes underwear? Wonder-pants!
- If getting ordinary words confused with types of mushrooms was an Olympic sport... I'd be world champignon.
- Tatars If a commentator is an ordinary potato and a spectator is a potato with glasses, what's a dictator?
A potato named Richard - Ms. Clinton: «I'll bet you $100,000... ...That I'm an ordinary, middle-class American like you»
- What did the Hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary b**....
- Why were all the r**... sitting around an ordinary potato waiting for it to talk? It was a CommonTater
I just made this up I swear - What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Grab onto your nuts, this is no ordinary b**....
- What did the hurricane say to the squirrel? "Hold on to your nuts because this is no ordinary b**..."
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Ordinary One Liners
Which ordinary one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ordinary? I can suggest the ones about usual and regular.
- We were so poor growing up that for breakfast we had Ordinary K.
- What's the most ordinary shade of yellow? Mediochre.
- Most lists are general and ordinary But there are a couple specialists.
- Soy milk is just ordinary milk introducing itself in Spanish.
- What do you call two ordinary ghosts? Paranormals.
- What does a quantum computer say to an ordinary computer? I am non-binary.
- Do you know where all the average ordinary things are made? At the satis-factory.
- Why did the ordinary man eat all the magic mushrooms? Because he wanted to be a fungi.
Ordinary Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about ordinary you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean average jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ordinary pranks.
A guy walks into a bar on Halloween
A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer. "I'm here for the costume party," he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig. "What are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "I'm a werewolf," the guy replies. "How's that? You're not dressed up at all," the bartender says. "Well, it's not a full moon tonight, now is it Mr. Smart Guy?" the guy replies.
Lessons.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow in the back shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."
Missfortune
When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man" he said as he walked up to her "but in just a week or two my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.
A woman is at a café orders the soup de jour, which happens to be alphabet soup that day. But when it arrives it just has ordinary noodles...
She says to the waiter, "Hey, I thought this was supposed to be alphabet soup."
The waiter replies, "It's in *cursive* ma'am."
A new mutant is trying to join the X-Men.
To join, he must complete an interview with Professor X.
"What's your superpower?" asks Professor X.
"I can pull a rabbit out of my hat!" says the young man. He takes off his hat, and pulls out a fluffy white rabbit.
Professor X gets up, walks over, and examines the rabbit carefully. It's an ordinary bunny.
"That's not a superpower, that's just a s**... magic trick!" says Professor X. "Stop wasting my time!"
"Ah, but that's not my real power!" says the man. "My real power is curing disabilities!"
A man has to leave the country..
A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, he was to be notified immediately.
After about a week of no news the business man received a telegram: "The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday..."
What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?
Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour.
And then the building exploded.
Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
Going to a singles bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an ordinary man" he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.
A man goes to h**......
A man dies and goes to h**.... There he meets the devil, who is going to show him to the place he will be for all eternity.
The man is escorted into an ordinary room, with a bunch of people standing around drinking coffee.
The only odd thing is everyone in the room is knee deep in s**....
"Well...here we are" says the devil
The man looks around and thinks to himself that his eternal place in h**... could be a whole lot worse.
As the devil walks out he says, "Alright, coffee break is over, back on your heads."
Vampires at the bar
Rich Vampire: I want a fresh blood from a healthy human!
Ordinary Vampire: Ordinary blood please!
Poor Vampire: Excuse me! Can you give me a hot water? I'll make tea instead. (pulls out t**...)
Phil Swift has a new product
He puts on a pair of boots and says, " I present to you the FlexBoots! Now this product may seem like ordinary boots, but with these bad boys you can run up walls, on the ceiling!" He goes on to demonstrate them by walking on random surfaces. "To show you the power FlexBoots", the camera slowly zooms out, and inverts itself, showing Phil standing under an airplane ."I'm on an airplane!" The pilot of the plane looks out the window and says,
"Weird Flex but okay."
I went to Amsterdam and decided to visit the red light district...
In one of the back alleys I met a man who asked "Looking for a good night"
I replied yes, so he gave me his offer
"My ordinary prostitutes all cost 1cent a go, but my finest are beyond money. They will cost you your arm and leg.
I thought about this and finally said
"If your finest women cost an arm and a leg, I'd a penny for your thots..."
The Halloween costume
A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer. "I'm here for the costume party," he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig. "What are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "I'm a werewolf," the guy replies. "How's that? You're not dressed up at all," the bartender says. "Well, it's not a full moon tonight, now is it Mr. Smart Guy?" the guy replies.
An old man visited a doctor because of his hearing problems
The doctor examined his ears thoroughly but could not find anything out of the ordinary.
"I simply cannot find an issue," said the doctor. "It could just be caused by alcohol."
"I see," the old man replied. "I guess I'll come back when the doctor is sober."
I participated in a poll..
It asked, "Do you consider yourself unique and special?"
99 people voted for yes.
I was the 100th who voted for no. I guess everyone is different, I am the only ordinary one.
"You are what you eat," they say... Oh really???
If so, then my spaghetti is fabulous and incredibly smart, made of extra-ordinary wheat with its own weird sense of humor, dancing salsa when nobody's watching and sweating its little spaghetti pants off while doing calisthenics.
I will never e**... spaghetti the same way ever again...
What's your pasta like? ;)
How to catch a polar bear...
First you have to get an ordinary can of peas and a saw. Now go out onto the ice and cut a hole into the ice. Open the can of peas and place single peas around the hole about an inch apart and wait.
When the polar bear goes to take a pea, you run up and kick him in the icehole!
Financial Planning like a pro
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. His sickly father told Dan he was going to inherit the business and a fortune but his father's one wish was to see Dan get married and settled before he passed on.
One evening, Dan went to a financial planning seminar, It was given by the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was bright and personable to boot. Dan fell in love at first sight. He told her, "I may look pretty ordinary, but my father will probably die soon and I will inherit the family business and a large fortune. Impressed, the woman asked Dan for his business card, and three weeks later, she became his stepmother.
