Ordering Food Jokes
127 ordering food jokes and hilarious ordering food puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ordering food that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Ordering Food Short Jokes
Short ordering food jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ordering food humour may include short eating food jokes also.
- A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says,"Sorry, we don't serve food here."
- A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink... The bartender asks if he'd like food with that.
The black hole said "no thanks, I'm a light eater." - A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. The bar man says, "sorry, we don't serve food".
- Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people... Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.
- I ordered my ex wife food she hates and had Uber Eats deliver it... Because revenge is a dish best served cold
- A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies "Sorry. We don't serve food".
- A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. But the bartender says, I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.
- A chicken walks in a bar and orders a drink The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food."
- Why do Ska Bands make the best Door dash drivers? Because if you order food they'll *pick it up, pick it up, pick it up*.
- I've ordered some German food through a mobile app. The sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come.
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Ordering Food One Liners
Which ordering food one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ordering food? I can suggest the ones about sharing food and restaurant menu.
- How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant? Allah carte.
- How does ChatGPT order food? It uses natural language processing to place its order.
- I ordered 2205lbs of Chinese food the other day... It was Wonton
- I ordered 2000lbs of Chinese food It was won ton
- A panda once hid his food in order to get more. The zookeepers were bamboozeled.
- A panda bear with a gun walks into a pub and orders some food. He eats, shoots and leaves
- I wanted Mexican food, but I was in a hurry So I ordered it ta-co
- A dung beetle goes for fast food... Orders a Number 2
- What do frogs order at a fast food chain? French flies
Mcribbit
Chicken leg - Elton John hates ordering Chinese food Soya seems to be the hardest word
- What app did the Star Wars fan use to order Chinese food? eWok
- Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
- What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies. - What is the best food to order from Amazon? Prime Rib
- Two stutterers went to order food They didn't.
Ordering Food Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about ordering food you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean food supplies jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ordering food pranks.
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house.
They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says,
"Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
Guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs.
Every day, the same thing: ham and eggs.
Waitress decides to play a trick on him and scratches it from the menu.
He comes in, she says, "You know that thing you like so much? I scratched it."
"Well, wash off your hand and get me some ham and eggs."
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza:
Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread"
Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!"
Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru.
There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window.
"We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded.
I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich.
"I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
Diet Coke: Making people feel better about ordering two Big Macs and a large fry since 1982.
Food snobs
"May I take your order? " the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? "
"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. "
A panda walks into a restaurant
He orders his food just like normal. The waiter brings it out and he eats his meal. When the check comes, the panda pulls out a shotgun and shoots the waiter. He then promptly leaves. The cook sees this and says "Hey what was that for!?" The panda replies "I'm a panda. Look me up in the dictionary." Once the panda left, the cook brought out a dictionary and looked up the word "panda."
"Panda - a black and white bear. Native to China. Eats chutes and leaves."
Wife's Duties
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties at home.
The first man had married a woman from Georgia and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day, he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Arkansas. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was cleaned and the dishes were done, and food was on the table.
The third man had married a girl from Texas. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.
A hamburger and an order of french fries goes into a bar......
the bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Two old Jewish women sit down at a local restaurant to catch the early bird special...
Their waiter takes their orders, brings out the food, and then goes to wait on a different table.
Five minutes later, he decides to check in on the two women.
He comes up to their table, and with a bright and chipper smile asks:
"Good evening ladies, is *anything* alright?"
My dad's favorite joke.
A lady walks into a cafe and orders a burger from the cashier. She notices the cook isn't wearing a shirt and curiously watches him prepare her food. He takes a handful of ground beef and slaps it against his hairy stomach, flips it over, and does the same to the other side. Appalled, the lady looks at the cashier and says, "Eww, that's *disgusting*!" The cashier replies, "If you think that's g**..., you should see him make donuts."
Two men sit down at a restaurant.
A waitress comes to their table and takes their drink order. When she returns a few minutes later with their beverages, she finds them both eating sandwiches out of paper bags. "Hey!" she says, "you can't eat your own food here!" So they trade sandwiches.
she orders
*A guy takes a g**... a date. She orders costly champagne, oysters, lobsters, the most expensive food on the menu. The guy asks: Do you eat like this at your mom's place? The girl replies, No, my mother doesn't plan to sleep with me after the meal.'
A Muslim man went to China...
And went to a nearby Chinese restaurant. He orders his food and, being the faithful Muslim man he is, he wants to make sure that his food isn't pork.
He asks the waiter "Is this pork?" but the waiter doesn't know any English.
So instead he points at his food and says "Oink?"
The waiter quickly shakes his head and says "Meow"
A panda walks into a restaurant
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders one of everything. The panda finishes up his meal and his bill comes the panda stands up and shoots the waiter. The manager comes out of the back and goes you've eaten all my food and shot my staff and wont even pay your bill what's wrong with you? The panda reply's "I'm a panda look me up in the dictionary" The manager goes and gets a dictionary he looks up panda and the definition is "Eats shoots and leaves"
A black hole and a nebula go out to lunch...
A black hole and a nebula are at a restaurant. The nebula orders a ginormous amount of food and the black hole only orders a drink and a small appetizer.
The nebula says the the black hole, "Are you sure you don't want more?"
The black hole replies, "Nah, I eat light"
Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.
They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."
A panda bear walks into a resturant..
And orders some food, after his meal the server comes out and asks how everything was and the panda bear pulls a gun a shoots him. The manager comes out and says "hey man what's going on?" The panda bear replies "I'm a panda bear Google it.." and leaves. The manager curiously Googled panda bear and was reading "panda bear: black and white bear, eats chutes and leaves."
A pineapple walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender looks up and says, "sorry we don't serve food here."
I want to order rabbit at a fancy restaurant
and then complain there is a hare in my food.
A low level member in a clan of cannibals gave some of his food...
...to the leader of the clan, in order to gain his favor.
It cost an arm and a leg, but it was worth it.
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat...
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.
Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."
The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.
The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."
Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"
Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."
I was waiting in line for soup at my favorite Vietnamese food truck...
When this guy pushes in front to place his order.
I'm like, "Dude, pho queue."
[Long] I was at dinner with my wife...
I ordered a steak and the waiter delivered it with his thumb on top of it. "Sir, this is unacceptable, your thumb was in my food," I complained. The waiter replied, "I'm sorry sir, I didn't want it to fall on the floor again."
I'm almost always n**... when ordering food
It really weirds out the drive-thru attendant
I suffer from a mental condition where I am unconciously forced to ask for food in the wrong sequence, and sometimes I just plain ask for things that aren't on the menu, anyway...
It's a this order disorder disorder disorder.
I really like European food...
...so I decided to Russia over to a European restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
Panda walks into a bar...
...orders some food and everything seems fine. After he finishes. He pulls out a gun and starts shooting everything. As he is leaving the bartender jumps up and says, "what was that for?" Panda says, "I am a panda. Look it up." The bartender pulls out a dictionary and reads....
"Panda - eats shoots and leaves."
Even if h**... had only run a fast food chain, it would have turned out terribly...
I mean, who wants to order the "Arbeit Macht Fries"?
Why did the Muslim only order a side of french fries?
Because he prefers his food Allah carte.
So I went to the s**... club and ordered food
One of the girls said, "we don't serve food here."
I said nah I want a twerky sandwich.
Oh Sister.
A young nun joined an order which allowed her to say only two words every ten years.
After the first ten years, she said to the Mother Superior -- "Bed hard."
Ten years later, she said -- "Food stinks."
Ten years later, she said -- "I quit."
The Mother Superior said, "I'm not surprised, you've done nothing but complain ever since you got here."
A man goes into a white supremacist diner..
He orders "2 eggs over easy."
The waiter brought out just egg w**....
"Where is the rest of my food?" Asked the patron
The waiter replied "w**... only in my diner! This is no yoke!"
A panda walks into a restaurant...
A panda walks into a restaurant. He orders some food,then shoots the waiter dead. Then he gets up to leave. The manager said: "Hey! What are you doing?! You shot my waiter!" The panda said: "What did you expect? I'm a PANDA. Look me up!" The manager looks up the definition. "The panda: and animal of black and white coloring that eats, shoots,and leaves."
When I...
A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and yells "When I drink, everybody drinks!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders a drink.
After that, he orders another drink and yells "When I get another drink, everybody gets another drink!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders another drink.
After finishing the drink, the man orders a sandwich and yells "When I eat, everybody eats!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders food.
After eating the sandwich, the man buys a cigarette and yells "When I get a smoke, everybody gets a smoke!". Everybody rushes to the counter and gets a cigarette.
After smoking, the man pays $25 and yells "When I pay, everybody pays!"
I was ordering food for the cast of Black Panther. I asked if they liked pizza.
They said, It depends. Wakanda pizza?
Asian stereotype joke
An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
He says "Flied lice please."
He leaves but comes back a minute later
"This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice."
A man goes to a restaurant and orders extra garlic on his food but gets ginger instead.
It was a root surprise.
A panda walks into a restaurant
He orders food, eats it, shoots the waiter, and leaves without paying.
The police question the panda.
They ask why he did it
The panda says to look up 'panda' in the dictionary.
Dictionary:
/Panda/
Eats shoots and leaves.
I wanted to order food from a fancy restaurant
I didn't want to leave the house, though, so I had them bring the food to me.
I ordered a medium rare steak and foie gras, but when the food arrived my foie gras was missing!
Furious, I drove over to the restaurant and demanded they give me my full order. They did, and before I left I asked them why they did not provide me what I asked for.
The chef said, "Well sir, you said you wanted your meal de-livered."
An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.
The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.
When the hotdog is finished cooking and served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.
The American asks, What's wrong?
The Chinese Man replies, When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body.
After months of my wife buying organic foods in order to live healthier, today I made the big decision to change
And filed for divorce
So a ham walks into a bar
And immediately sits down at the bar and orders a sandwich
The bartender looks over and says Sorry, we don't serve food here.
The killer panda
A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders food, eats it, shoots the waiter, and begins to walk out. The bartender yells to him, "You can do that!" The panda bear replies, "It's in the dictionary."
So they look up panda in the dictionary, and it says, "Panda: eats shoot and leaves."
I was waiting in a long line to order food when I saw this beautiful girl.
I was very nervous till she laughed at the pick up line.
When the waiter brought my order he had his thumb in my steak
So I yelled at him, "I don't want your finger touching my food!" So he asks me, "Would you rather it fall on the floor again?"
I ordered curry at an Indian restaurant, but the food just doesn't get served.
I asked the staff what's wrong, and they said they couldn't carry it.
When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken.
Nothing special, he explained. We just tell them they're going to die.
A flat one
What do snowmen order at fast-food restaurants?
An iceberg-er and french freezed potatoes
A larger-than-life character, Big Tony, walks into a bar.
Big Tony orders a drink. He bellows out, "when Big Tony drinks, everybody drinks!" The patrons of the bar all rush to get served their favorite tipple.
Then he orders some food. "When Big Tony eats, everybody eats!" Suddenly the kitchen is overwhelmed.
He places a twenty on the bar, and as he walks out, he bellows "When Big Tony pays, everybody pays!"
So a pianist and his girlfriend go on a date to a restaurant.
They both order some exquisite and expensive food, and when it comes time to play their bill, the girlfriend offers to pay. Problem is, she forgot all her money and she asks if the pianist can pay for it. I can't, he says. I'm Baroque.
A Chinese woman goes to a local fast food restaurant.
The cashier: What can I get you ma'am?
The woman orders.
The cashier then jumps over the counter and begins groping and attempting to kiss the woman in public,
The woman freaks out and pushed him away screaming Why you do dis??
The cashier says: You said you wanted dirty s**...?!
The woman: I say I wanna number 36!
A duck walks into a bar...
And orders the fish dinner. The bartender brings the meal and goes on to serve other customers, when he notices the duck hasn't touched his meal, so he asks "is everything all right with the food?"
"Check please" said the duck
"Is everything all right?" asked the bartender "You haven't touched your fish"
And the duck replied "I cant eat without a bill"
My mom was telling my little brother about the food she ordered....
she said it had a middle eastern flavor to it. I then said said He doesn't even know what that means! To which he replied, Yes I do, it just means there's a bomb in it.
Ordered Chinese food last night
When the delivery guy showed up to deliver it I went out to meet him saw it was a little Chinese man and he started shouting isolate isolate I looked at him and laughed and said you're not late it's only been 15 minutes since I ordered
My wife accidentally ordered way too many chicken strips for lunch
She was quite upset about, as she hates wasting food. My daughter I were quite happy to have some tasty junk food for dinner though. I said to my wife "We could do this again, I don't mind eating KFC. I hope this wasn't just a s**... tease!"
i got a wrong fast food order delivered today with NOTHING in it
i wanted mcdonalds but got jack in the box
I was in a long McDonald's drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.
Take the high road, I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.
The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to go back to the end of the line to start all over.
Don't honk your horn at old people.
A historian went to a restaurant during Christmas
Once a historian went to a resturant during Christmas and ordered foods. While bringing the foods the spanish waiter lost balance and everything fell to floor.
So the historian said in his mind, " First the fall of Turkey, then breaking-up of China, over-throw of Greece, humiliation of Spain and finally loss of America !"
A man rang the Chinese restaurant to order some food...
"Can I speak to Ha-Fin?"
"No, Ha-Fin is out."
"Is that Ha-Fout?"
"No, Ha-Fout is not in."
"Well, who is that?"
"I'm Ha-Fup, the receptionist."
"Sorry, I'll call you back when you're not busy."