Ordering Food Jokes
127 ordering food jokes and hilarious ordering food puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ordering food that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Ordering Food Short Jokes
Short ordering food jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ordering food humour may include short eating food jokes also.
- A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink... The bartender asks if he'd like food with that.
The black hole said "no thanks, I'm a light eater." - Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people... Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.
- I ordered my ex wife food she hates and had Uber Eats deliver it... Because revenge is a dish best served cold
- A chicken walks in a bar and orders a drink The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food."
- Why do Ska Bands make the best Door dash drivers? Because if you order food they'll *pick it up, pick it up, pick it up*.
- I've ordered some German food through a mobile app. The sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come.
- I was ordering food for the cast of Black Panther. I asked if they liked pizza. They said, It depends. Wakanda pizza?
- These days, people are always having their food delivered. Why don't they just order it without the livers?
- We are launching a Food App that will help you lose your weight You'll order but we won't deliver.
- i got a wrong fast food order delivered today with NOTHING in it i wanted mcdonalds but got jack in the box
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Ordering Food One Liners
Which ordering food one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ordering food? I can suggest the ones about sharing food and restaurant menu.
- How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant? Allah carte.
- How does ChatGPT order food? It uses natural language processing to place its order.
- A panda once hid his food in order to get more. The zookeepers were bamboozeled.
- I wanted Mexican food, but I was in a hurry So I ordered it ta-co
- A dung beetle goes for fast food... Orders a Number 2
- What do frogs order at a fast food chain? French flies
Mcribbit
Chicken leg - Elton John hates ordering Chinese food Soya seems to be the hardest word
- What app did the Star Wars fan use to order Chinese food? eWok
- What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies. - What is the best food to order from Amazon? Prime Rib
- Two stutterers went to order food They didn't.
- Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told. - Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi. - Ordered food from Ethiopia There was only a cardboard box
- I heard Ratatouille almost went out of business Until 10 thousand rats ordered some food
Ordering Food Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about ordering food you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean food supplies jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ordering food pranks.
A fat man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food.
The cashier says that it will be a minute or two for his food. Finally his food is ready. The cashier hands the food to the fat guy and tells him, "Sorry about your weight."
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
A married couple go to a restaurant.
A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it.
The man asks, "Where's the burger?"
The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit.
"I was keeping it warm," she replies.
The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie.
As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it.
The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie.
The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied.
"He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London.
The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease."
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
Guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs.
Every day, the same thing: ham and eggs.
Waitress decides to play a trick on him and scratches it from the menu.
He comes in, she says, "You know that thing you like so much? I scratched it."
"Well, wash off your hand and get me some ham and eggs."
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza:
Customer: "
Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread"
Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!"
Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."
Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru.
There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window.
"We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded.
I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich.
"I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.
Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries.
After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here."
"At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
A cat sauntered in and sat at the bar.
"Tuna", ordered the cat. "Salad or sandwich?" Asked The bartender. "What do you think I am a human?"
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?'
'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat grass.'
'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,' the lawyer said.
'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.'
'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us, also..'
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!'
'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind.'
'Thank you for taking all of us with you.'
The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it.
You'll really love my place..
The grass is almost a foot high.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Food snobs
"May I take your order? " the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? "
"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. "
Wife's Duties
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties at home.
The first man had married a woman from Georgia and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day, he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Arkansas. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was cleaned and the dishes were done, and food was on the table.
The third man had married a girl from Texas. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.
Two Sandwiches in a Deli
One day two sandwiches are sitting in a deli. One sandwich - a veggie sandwich - asks the other "Hey man, if you could be any kind of sandwich, what would you be?"
The other sandwich - a turkey sandwich - isn't in the mood. He retorts "I'm tired man. I don't feel like having a deep conversation right now."
But the veggie sandwich persists. "I'm sorry to bug you. It's just that I'm doing this study for a class. I need to know your response in order to fully understand the psyche and whims of a turkey sandwich. I promise, just the one question, and that's it."
The turkey sandwich replies "Look man, I'm happy just being a turkey sandwich. I know I'm not the most exotic food item out there, but I'm content with my situation."
The veggie sandwich tries taking a more motivational approach. "Come on man, I'm not trying to imply that you're not awesome. Of course you are. But surely you have dreams. We all have dreams. If you could be ANY kind of sandwich in the world, what would you be?"
The turkey sandwich is still reluctant to enter into anything resembling a philosophical conversation with the veggie sandwich. It's always ended poorly in the past, but he knows how relentless the veggie sandwich can be. "Fine," he says, knowing that he has to make a decision. "If pressed, I would be a panini."
A kid works up the nerve to ask his crush to prom...
And first he must buy the tickets. So he heads to the ticket line and waits for about a half hour until he reaches the front and finally buys two tickets for him and his date.
Then he has to buy a tuxedo, so he heads over to the tux shop but due to prom season, it is overflowing with customers all waiting to get their prom tuxes. So he waits in line for about an hour until finally he can get fitted. He buys a green vest to match his date's dress.
Then he and his date decide they want to take a limo to prom, so he heads over to the limousine rental place and stands in line for an hour and a half waiting to order a limo. When he finally gets to the front, he orders a long white limo for 8 people.
The big day finally arrives and the kid and his date and their six friends all pull up to the dining hall in their white limo but because they've arrived a little late, they have to wait in line for about 25 minutes before they can get in.
Once in the dining hall, the kid and his date head to the dinner buffet and stand behind dozens of hungry students waiting to get their food. After a 35 minute line, they finally sit down with their food when the kid's date realizes she forgot to grab a beverage.
He heads over to the punch bowl to get her some juice and is surprised to see there's no punch line.
A woman sees an old couple sharing a meal at McDonald...
A woman walks into McDonald and orders her meal. As she sits down with her food, she sees an old couple in a corner booth sharing a single happy meal. The old woman ate while the old man watched hungrily.
"They must be really poor", she thought and decided to do a good dead and bought another meal and brought over to the old couple. When she brought the meal over and explained, the old man thanked her but declined.
"Thank you, my dear, but we have plenty of money. We are sharing because when we were married over 50 years ago we vowed to share everything. Even a simple meal"
The woman who bought the meal was embarrassed and apologized, but she had one more question before she left them alone.
"I understand sharing everything, but why are you watching her eat? why not split the meal and eat together?" she asked
The old man flashed his gums to the younger woman and told her:
"Because it's her turn for the teeth"
An elderly couple walks into McDonalds...
...and they order a single meal. A man sitting nearby watches as they carefully divide the burger and fries in half. He feels sorry for them and offers to buy them another meal. "It's ok," says the husband, "we share everything."
After a few minutes the man notices that the wife has not touched her food while the husband is busy scarfing away. "I'm serious, it's no trouble," he says. "I can buy you guys another meal."
"And I'm serious," replies the husband. "We share everything! Don't worry about it."
The man looks to the wife and asks "Why aren't you eating?"
She replies, "because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad's favorite joke.
A lady walks into a cafe and orders a burger from the cashier. She notices the cook isn't wearing a shirt and curiously watches him prepare her food. He takes a handful of ground beef and slaps it against his hairy stomach, flips it over, and does the same to the other side. Appalled, the lady looks at the cashier and says, "Eww, that's *disgusting*!" The cashier replies, "If you think that's g**..., you should see him make donuts."
Two men sit down at a restaurant.
A waitress comes to their table and takes their drink order. When she returns a few minutes later with their beverages, she finds them both eating sandwiches out of paper bags. "Hey!" she says, "you can't eat your own food here!" So they trade sandwiches.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
she orders
*A guy takes a g**... a date. She orders costly champagne, oysters, lobsters, the most expensive food on the menu. The guy asks: Do you eat like this at your mom's place? The girl replies, No, my mother doesn't plan to sleep with me after the meal.'
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass.
He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.
"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.
"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.
"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.
The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"
"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.
They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."
A Muslim man went to China...
And went to a nearby Chinese restaurant. He orders his food and, being the faithful Muslim man he is, he wants to make sure that his food isn't pork.
He asks the waiter "Is this pork?" but the waiter doesn't know any English.
So instead he points at his food and says "Oink?"
The waiter quickly shakes his head and says "Meow"
A blonde decided to order food using the drive-thru
She ordered a burger, fries, and car insurance.
A panda walks into a restaurant
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders one of everything. The panda finishes up his meal and his bill comes the panda stands up and shoots the waiter. The manager comes out of the back and goes you've eaten all my food and shot my staff and wont even pay your bill what's wrong with you? The panda reply's "I'm a panda look me up in the dictionary" The manager goes and gets a dictionary he looks up panda and the definition is "Eats shoots and leaves"
A black hole and a nebula go out to lunch...
A black hole and a nebula are at a restaurant. The nebula orders a ginormous amount of food and the black hole only orders a drink and a small appetizer.
The nebula says the the black hole, "Are you sure you don't want more?"
The black hole replies, "Nah, I eat light"
Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.
They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."
A pineapple walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender looks up and says, "sorry we don't serve food here."
I want to order rabbit at a fancy restaurant
and then complain there is a hare in my food.
A low level member in a clan of cannibals gave some of his food...
...to the leader of the clan, in order to gain his favor.
It cost an arm and a leg, but it was worth it.
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat...
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.
Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."
The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.
The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."
Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"
Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."
I was waiting in line for soup at my favorite Vietnamese food truck...
When this guy pushes in front to place his order.
I'm like, "Dude, pho queue."
[Long] I was at dinner with my wife...
I ordered a steak and the waiter delivered it with his thumb on top of it. "Sir, this is unacceptable, your thumb was in my food," I complained. The waiter replied, "I'm sorry sir, I didn't want it to fall on the floor again."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm almost always n**... when ordering food
It really weirds out the drive-thru attendant
I suffer from a mental condition where I am unconciously forced to ask for food in the wrong sequence, and sometimes I just plain ask for things that aren't on the menu, anyway...
It's a this order disorder disorder disorder.
I really like European food...
...so I decided to Russia over to a European restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Even if h**... had only run a fast food chain, it would have turned out terribly...
I mean, who wants to order the "Arbeit Macht Fries"?
How do Muslims order their food?
They Halal it out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I went to the s**... club and ordered food
One of the girls said, "we don't serve food here."
I said nah I want a twerky sandwich.
I ONLY eat products and food from third world countries.
Which is great as, for the past 3 years, I've been able to order local Swedish food without breaking my policy.
Oh Sister.
A young nun joined an order which allowed her to say only two words every ten years.
After the first ten years, she said to the Mother Superior -- "Bed hard."
Ten years later, she said -- "Food stinks."
Ten years later, she said -- "I quit."
The Mother Superior said, "I'm not surprised, you've done nothing but complain ever since you got here."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes into a white supremacist diner..
He orders "2 eggs over easy."
The waiter brought out just egg w**....
"Where is the rest of my food?" Asked the patron
The waiter replied "w**... only in my diner! This is no yoke!"
When I...
A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and yells "When I drink, everybody drinks!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders a drink.
After that, he orders another drink and yells "When I get another drink, everybody gets another drink!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders another drink.
After finishing the drink, the man orders a sandwich and yells "When I eat, everybody eats!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders food.
After eating the sandwich, the man buys a cigarette and yells "When I get a smoke, everybody gets a smoke!". Everybody rushes to the counter and gets a cigarette.
After smoking, the man pays $25 and yells "When I pay, everybody pays!"
Asian stereotype joke
An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
He says "Flied lice please."
He leaves but comes back a minute later
"This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice."
A man goes to a restaurant and orders extra garlic on his food but gets ginger instead.
It was a root surprise.
I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time.
The android burned my toast. A few scavengers took my orange juice. I was berated for ordering savage human food. Don't order from the future.
I wanted to order food from a fancy restaurant
I didn't want to leave the house, though, so I had them bring the food to me.
I ordered a medium rare steak and foie gras, but when the food arrived my foie gras was missing!
Furious, I drove over to the restaurant and demanded they give me my full order. They did, and before I left I asked them why they did not provide me what I asked for.
The chef said, "Well sir, you said you wanted your meal de-livered."
An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.
The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.
When the hotdog is finished cooking and served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.
The American asks, What's wrong?
The Chinese Man replies, When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body.
After months of my wife buying organic foods in order to live healthier, today I made the big decision to change
And filed for divorce
I was waiting in a long line to order food when I saw this beautiful girl.
I was very nervous till she laughed at the pick up line.
When the waiter brought my order he had his thumb in my steak
So I yelled at him, "I don't want your finger touching my food!" So he asks me, "Would you rather it fall on the floor again?"
We went for Indian food on our first date so I tried to get conversation going at the table by ordering appetizers...
Turns out that was a naan starter
Waitress: So how did your food come out?
Me: It came out well.
Waitress: Perfect, enjoy your meal!
Me: I ordered medium rare.
Two Polish gentlemen walk into a restaurant
In Poland, where they order some Polish food. Then they go home and kiss their wives.
I ordered curry at an Indian restaurant, but the food just doesn't get served.
I asked the staff what's wrong, and they said they couldn't carry it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken.
Nothing special, he explained. We just tell them they're going to die.
A flat one
What do snowmen order at fast-food restaurants?
An iceberg-er and french freezed potatoes
A larger-than-life character, Big Tony, walks into a bar.
Big Tony orders a drink. He bellows out, "when Big Tony drinks, everybody drinks!" The patrons of the bar all rush to get served their favorite tipple.
Then he orders some food. "When Big Tony eats, everybody eats!" Suddenly the kitchen is overwhelmed.
He places a twenty on the bar, and as he walks out, he bellows "When Big Tony pays, everybody pays!"
So a pianist and his girlfriend go on a date to a restaurant.
They both order some exquisite and expensive food, and when it comes time to play their bill, the girlfriend offers to pay. Problem is, she forgot all her money and she asks if the pianist can pay for it. I can't, he says. I'm Baroque.