Orchestra Jokes
114 orchestra jokes and hilarious orchestra puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about orchestra that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article features a collection of humorous jokes to bring a smile to all music fans, including jokes about orchestra conductors, cellos, string orchestras, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Electric Light Orchestra, woodwinds, mandolins, and ensembles. Get ready to laugh with these orchestra jokes!
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Funniest Orchestra Short Jokes
Short orchestra jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The orchestra humour may include short choir jokes also.
- A friend told me he doesn't let his kids watch orchestra performances cuz there's too much sax and violins. I told him puns make me wanna commit violins.
- PSA: I'm starting a minimalist orchestra! It's just like a regular orchestra but without the bells and whistles.
- Never let anyone put you down. Take my mate Jim for example. He was told just because he's deaf he can't play in an orchestra... But did he listen...
- Was happily watching the Bermuda philharmonic orchestra When the guy on the triangle disappeared
- Why do accordion teachers always sit at the back of the orchestra? So they can keep an eye on everyone else.
- Why did the accordionist get fired from the orchestra? They couldn’t stop playing “Weird Al” Yankovic covers during rehearsal.
- A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal... carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.
The conductor asks him Will you need any sheet music?
The man replies, Nah, I'll play it by ear. - I was listening to the orchestra but I had to turn off the radio... There was too much sax and violins.
- Why did the thief knife himself after he was caught stealing violas and cellos from an orchestra? He didn't have a safe Haydn place, and he couldn't Handel the thought of being sent Bach to prison.
- What do you call a homeless monkey in the woodwind part of an orchestra? The oboe bonobo hobo.
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Orchestra One Liners
Which orchestra one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with orchestra? I can suggest the ones about symphony and musical instrument.
- Why did the triangle player quit the orchestra? It was just one ting after another
- If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit? The conductor.
- How did the orchestra start a riot? With violins
- Why are band and orchestra rated R? All the sax and violins
- How do they make music in Mordor? With an Orchestra.
- Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted? Some blame it on the conductor.
- How did the unqualified harp player get into the orchestra? She pulled some strings.
- Mom wouldn't let me see the orchestra movie She said there was too much sax and violins
- what do you call an orchestra made up of guys who pay for onlyfans? A Simphony
- The violinists in an orchestra don't do much They just fiddle around
- There was a brawl at the orchestra today. Lots of violin-ce
- How does Ohm conduct an orchestra? Standing on his head!
- Why was Gandhi thrown out of the orchestra? He rejected the violins.
- An orchestra was hit by lightning Only the conductor died
- I took my orchestra onto a train one day The conductor was rubbish
Orchestra Conductor Jokes
Here is a list of funny orchestra conductor jokes and even better orchestra conductor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is that guy directing the orchestra so electrifying? Because he is the conductor.
- An orchestra which can play electrifying music... ...must have a good conductor.
- Why didn't the orchestra worry about the thunderstorm? They didn't have a good conductor.
- An orchestra went to the desert Which member felt the warmest?
The conductor. - I got fired from my job as an orchestra conductor... ...for repeatedly looking out of the window.
I had to face the music. - So my Orchestra conductor keeps telling the Violas to play louder... I guess it just isn't their Forte. ;)
- What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra? Go Bach and get a Handel on it!
- Although some countries may argue against this, we the french know for a fact that the best Orchestra conductors come from France Well, we offer the least resistance.
- A boy in an orchestra is constantly being bullied He asks the Conductor what to do.
The Conductor responds, "Why are you scared boy? Take a stand!"
String Orchestra Jokes
Here is a list of funny string orchestra jokes and even better string orchestra puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the unnecessarily large string orchestra? It was shut down due to mass violins
- Skrillex used to play string instruments in the orchestra, until he dropped the bass.
- Why did the movie about a String orchestra get rated R16? It contained violins
- Philharmonic orchestra Why isn't the strings section of the orchestra ever televised?
Graphic violins. - What do you call a ruckus in a string orchestra? Violins
Trans Siberian Orchestra Jokes
Here is a list of funny trans siberian orchestra jokes and even better trans siberian orchestra puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You think you're special because you suddenly don't identify as male or female? The Siberian Orchestra has identified as 'trans' for over 20 years.
- What do you call a group of classically trained, gender fluid, Russian musicians? A Trans Siberian Orchestra
- I liked it better when Trans-Siberian Orchestra was just Siberian Orchestra Now I'm always getting confused as to whether they're a band or a woband
- I like my women how I like my Siberian Orchestras... Trans.
Symphony Orchestra Jokes
Here is a list of funny symphony orchestra jokes and even better symphony orchestra puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Massacre between rival musicians at the Symphony Orchestra today, . Authorities have condemned this act of Violins
- It's too bad Led Zeppelin never got to perform and record with a symphony orchestra. They could've named it the Hindenburg Concertos.
Delightful Fun Orchestra Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about orchestra you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean piano jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make orchestra pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I popped off my g-string while f**... a minor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
l**..., chased by an angel, hid himself in the London Philharmonic Orchestra
He was eventually found in the horns section.
[OC] Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert?
Because the C-section is always messy.
An orchestra concert is no place for a child.
Sometimes there's intense violins
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Billy started playing o**... when he was 5
Little Billy started playing o**... when he was 5. He practiced and practiced every day. He had heard of this orchestra from his town that was really hard to get accepted into. This made him want to practice and practice even more. He even got private lessons with a skilled organist. Finally, the day came. He went to the audition room and started to play, but no sound would come out. The o**... was broken. The judge immediately arranged for another o**.... As Billy began to play, the o**... also creaked and then ceased to make a sound. The judge arranged for yet another o**... for Billy, but that one broke down as well. The judge suddenly collapsed to the ground.
At the hospital, the doctors pronounced the judge dead and performed an autopsy.
"The cause of death appears to be multiple o**... failure."
Why wasn't the orchestra allowed to play on television?
It contained too much sax and violins.
Why are trombones the sexiest instruments in the orchestra?
Because they can be played in seven positions and you have to oil the slide.
I saw a racially tolerant orchestra...
None of them were bassists.
Sorry, tuba players...
A father decides to put his son in a music class. The teacher assigns him the tuba and the dad goes home, leaving his kid there.
When the child comes home, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
The child said "I learned how to play the C Note!"
The next day, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
The child said "I learned how to play the G Note!"
The next day, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
"I joined the orchestra!"
Never let your children play in an orchestra.
Too much sax and violins.
* Credit to maxwell bot.
I bought a few pieces for my DIY orchestra today
some ensemble acquired.
The poster for a Homeless shelter's charity orchestra night reads...
Come on down to the shelter and blow some Oboes!
I got a job assisting a fledgling orchestra with their day to day activities and helping to organize upcoming shows...
My official title is Band Aide.
(I thought of this in the shower, so it's definitely not funny)
I don't like to blow my own trumpet.
Which is probably why I got removed from the school orchestra.
Why did the boy leave the angyr orchestra?
There was too much violins
Why was the orchestra teacher angry?
Her students were pizzing her off.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A tuba player finally joined an orchestra!
It was his first b**...
What do you call a woman, that slept with the whole orchestra?
A symphomaniac
How do orchestras repair themselves?
With BAND-Aids!
What did the orchestra play to make it so dizzy?
A centrifugue
Why didn't the school orchestra add me to their woodwind section?
It was reed only
What does Captain America say when he wants an orchestra?
Avengers, ensemble!
Lighting strikes an orchestra who gets hit first?
The conducter
.... I'll see myself out
Why did the classical orchestra disband.
It went Baroque
An orchestra is tuning up for a challenging concerto; all but the first chair oboist.
She is not preparing for her performance. As the draw of the curtains approached, the conductor could no longer abide her inaction. He gritted, "why are you not preparing? Why haven't you habituated your instrument?" She retorted, "I don't believe in oboe warming."
What do you call a group of band rejects?
The orchestra.
Why didn't adults enjoy the kids' orchestra?
Not enough sax and violins.
My dog sat watching the orchestra play...
My dog sat watching the orchestra play, he was staring at the conductor and I could see what he was thinking ... for f\*\*\*s sake ..Just throw the f\*\*\*ng thing.
Why was the trombonist kicked out the orchestra?
He was making saxist remarked at the flutiest...
My girlfriend broke up with me over my Electric Light Orchestra obsession.
Evil woman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once tried to sleep with an entire orchestra
but I only made it to the second bass
Why do mosquitoes always leave an orchestra performance before it ends?
Because the standing ovation can be quite deadly to them
I was at a performance of Beethoven's 7th, when suddenly the whole orchestra got up and left.
...which was disconcerting.
The hardest part of Covid-19 is that the orchestras are no longer performing
It's really disconcerting.
Why did the politician join the orchestra?
He wanted to play the trumpet.
After an orchestra drummer performed particularly poorly, the conductor sarcastically told him, "when they find someone who can't play any instrument, they give him two sticks and make him the drummer."
The drummer retorted, "and if he can't play that either, they take away one stick and make him the conductor."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two sailors are on shore leave. They have a few drinks and decide to go to a variety show. At the intermission one of them needs to pee and asks directions from the usher. Go through the exit, turn left along the corridor, turn first right, then left, then right again, he says.
The sailor follows the directions with some difficulty, relieves himself, and eventually finds his way back to his seat. You missed the best act, says his friend. While you were gone a sailor came on-stage and p**... into the orchestra pit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last night I attended the Philharmonic.
On stage, the orchestra had a massive, massive o**....
I thought, wow! That symphony is very well endowed.
How's the wedding planning coming on, John?
John: "We're having a slight difference of opinion. She wants a big church wedding, large reception, small orchestra, the works. I want to elope with someone else."
