Orchestra Conductor Jokes

28 orchestra conductor jokes and hilarious orchestra conductor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about orchestra conductor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Orchestra Conductor Short Jokes

Short orchestra conductor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The orchestra conductor humour may include short orchestra jokes also.

  1. A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal... carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.
    The conductor asks him Will you need any sheet music?
    The man replies, Nah, I'll play it by ear.
  2. I got fired from my job as an orchestra conductor... ...for repeatedly looking out of the window.
    I had to face the music.
  3. So my Orchestra conductor keeps telling the Violas to play louder... I guess it just isn't their Forte. ;)
  4. What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra? Go Bach and get a Handel on it!
  5. Although some countries may argue against this, we the french know for a fact that the best Orchestra conductors come from France Well, we offer the least resistance.
  6. A boy in an orchestra is constantly being bullied He asks the Conductor what to do.
    The Conductor responds, "Why are you scared boy? Take a stand!"
  7. I was thinking to my myself earlier.... ...orchestra conductors are brilliant h**... impersonators

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Orchestra Conductor One Liners

Which orchestra conductor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with orchestra conductor? I can suggest the ones about conductor and violinist.

  1. If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit? The conductor.
  2. Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted? Some blame it on the conductor.
  3. An orchestra was hit by lightning Only the conductor died
  4. I took my orchestra onto a train one day The conductor was rubbish
  5. Why is that guy directing the orchestra so electrifying? Because he is the conductor.
  6. An orchestra which can play electrifying music... ...must have a good conductor.
  7. Why didn't the orchestra worry about the thunderstorm? They didn't have a good conductor.
  8. An orchestra went to the desert Which member felt the warmest?
    The conductor.

Orchestra Conductor Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about orchestra conductor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean music teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make orchestra conductor pranks.

After an orchestra drummer performed particularly poorly, the conductor sarcastically told him, "when they find someone who can't play any instrument, they give him two sticks and make him the drummer."

The drummer retorted, "and if he can't play that either, they take away one stick and make him the conductor."

My dog sat watching the orchestra play...

My dog sat watching the orchestra play, he was staring at the conductor and I could see what he was thinking ... for f\*\*\*s sake ..Just throw the f\*\*\*ng thing.

An orchestra is tuning up for a challenging concerto; all but the first chair oboist.

She is not preparing for her performance. As the draw of the curtains approached, the conductor could no longer abide her inaction. He gritted, "why are you not preparing? Why haven't you habituated your instrument?" She retorted, "I don't believe in oboe warming."

The Orchestra

In an orchestra that's practicing Beethoven's Ninth for an upcoming show, there are three guys that play bass. Just down the street from the church where they practice is a small bar. Every practice there would be a break where the basses didn't play, so the basses would sneak out the back of the church and go to the bar for a drink or two, and then get back just in time to finish the show. This continued until the night of the show. While the orchestra is warming up, one bassist turns to the others and says, 'We can't sneak out again, it's the night of the show!' Another bassist replies, 'Don't worry, we can make it. I tied some string around the score so that the conductor will take time to untie it. We have even more time to drink tonight than we did at the practices!' So the basses sneak out, but have a couple drinks too many. Right as they stumble in, the conductor turns the page to reveal the string around the music. He suddenly realizes that it's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.

Bad orchestra director

An orchestra conductor walks in on his wife cheating on him with his principal violinist. She confesses, "I haven't loved you for a while now. It's your job - you're a lousy conductor."
In a crime of passion, he shoots them both dead.
At his m**... trial, he's found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. He's strapped in, the switch is thrown, and... nothing. Confused, the executor flips the switch back and forth a few times and shrugs. Turns out his wife was correct; he's a bad conductor.