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Orchard Jokes

31 orchard jokes and hilarious orchard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about orchard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Orchard Short Jokes

Short orchard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The orchard humour may include short fruit jokes also.

  1. I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there staring at trees for more than an hour. Apparently this was NOT the Apple Watch she was expecting for her birthday.
  2. For her birthday, i took my girlfriend to an orchard we stood there looking at the trees for about an hour. Not the apple watch she wanted apparently...
  3. I drank a bunch of Angry Orchard and called my broker I guess you can say I did some in-cider trading
  4. An orchard was stripped of all its apples overnight. Police say their initial investigations have proved fruitless.
  5. I just went to the apple orchard with my girlfriend... My only complaint was I didn't get to be in cider.
  6. Why did the p**... get angry after having s**... in an apple orchard? Because her client came in cider.
  7. They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away… I grew a whole d**... orchard and still can't get rid of these medical bills
  8. Did you know the Elves had a plan to beat the Uruk-hai with s**... Frustration? It's true. They knew that if they got enough trees together, it made an OrcHard.
  9. What do you call it when you hang a bunch of g**... in the forest? An orchard.

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Orchard One Liners

Which orchard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with orchard? I can suggest the ones about garden and flower garden.

  1. Today I slept with a girl in an apple orchard... She let me come in cider
  2. Why did the chicken cross the apple orchard? To get to the other cider heheheh
  3. My friend told me he wanted to plant an orchard. I told him to grow a pear.
  4. Why did the chicken cross the orchard ? To get to the other cider..
  5. Did you know they buried Steve Jobs in an orchard? Yep. He's still pushing apples.
  6. What do you get when you cross an orchard with a concentration camp? apple juice
  7. Don't you know how to say orchard in polish? It's sad
  8. I was really nervous about planting my first orchard Until I finally just grew a pear
  9. What do you call Semites working at an orchard? Apple Jews!
  10. What do you call a Jewish family that owns an apple orchard? Applejews
  11. Do orchards measure their success... in apple turnover?
  12. What do you call a bowman who got the D? An orchard.
  13. That orchard moment when you plant loads of apple trees
  14. I had s**... with a girl in an apple orchard, I came in cider.
  15. I had s**... in an orchard today. I came in cider.

Orchard joke, I had s**... in an orchard today.

Giggle-Inducing Orchard Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about orchard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cherry tree jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make orchard pranks.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

Son: "Dad where did I come from?"
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."
Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."
Dad: "I slipped in cider."

Two guys sneak into a farmer's orchard

Two guys sneak into a farmer's orchard and start eating the fruit. The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun.
"Since you guys like fruit so much go pick 100 of whatever fruit you want," said the farmer.
The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets 100 he goes back to the farmer. The farmer says, "Now shove 'em all up your a**...."
The guy gets all 100 up his a**....
He feels really bad, but then he starts to laugh. "Why are you laughing?" asks the farmer.
the guy replies, "My friend is out picking watermelons!

Elton John

On vacation, Elton John finds himself meandering in a Mediterranean orchard. Spying a tree, Elton decides to relive some boyhood memories and climb a tree, albeit only the first branch.
As Elton sits, his well-heeled (and sparkly) feet dangling, a local boy walks by. Waving, Elton call out, "Would you like anything?"
"Fig!" The boy yells back.
Offended, Elton crosses his arms. "What did you call me?"
"No," the boy replies, pointing, "THAT low hanging fruit!"

Orchard joke, Elton John