The Best 58 Oranges Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Oranges jokes. There are some oranges lime jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these oranges orange you glad puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Oranges Jokes and Puns

Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump.

But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump.

But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.

What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common?

I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.

Oranges joke, What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common?

Wrong queue !

This girl was a prostitute, but her "granny" didn't know about it. One day, the police rounded up a group of pro's and the girl was caught. The cops had them lined up against a wall of the street where they were caught soliciting. Just then the grandmother walked by and saw her granddaughter.
She asked the girl, "What are you lining up for?"
The granddaughter, not willing to tell the truth, told her grandmother that she was lining up for some free oranges. Well, grandma, not one for passing up something free, joined the back of the line. A policeman who was going down the line taking information from each girl, soon reached the grandmother. He was stunned and bewildered to see her.
So, he asked carefully, "Ma am, you're rather old to be out here, how do you still do it?"
Grandma proudly replied, "Oh, it's easy, I just take out my teeth and suck'em dry."

The Good Old Days!

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.

"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!

"Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look."Β 


Did you hear about the man who was using apples and oranges for flooring?

He started to lay them down when he realized it was fruit-tile.

I love looking at oranges,

they are just so appealing

Oranges joke, I love looking at oranges,

My favorite joke when I was a kid..

There are four men on a small boat: an Italian, Chinese, American and Mexican.

The boat is too heavy, and begins to sink. The American yells "quick, throw out whatever you have most of in your country!"

The Italian throws out pasta.

The Chinese throws out rice.

The Mexican throws out oranges.

The American throws out the mexican.

How to tell if women is single

A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, You must be single. She responds, You can tell that by what I bought? The cashier says, No, you're ugly.

What do ovens and oranges have in common?

Jews ^^^^^get ^^^^^it? ^^^^^orange ^^^^^jews? ^^^^^I'll ^^^^^show ^^^^^myself ^^^^^out ^^^^^now

If my girlfriend has six oranges in one hand and seven apples in the other, what has she got?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

You can explore oranges lemon reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean oranges uppercut dad jokes. There are also oranges puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


People say you can't compare apples to oranges...

... always seemed like a fruitful comparison to me though.

Where did Hitler send his Oranges?

The concentration camps.

What are stories about oranges?

Pulp Fiction

Past& Sees Her.

Susie is a prostitute who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& suck 'em until they're dry.

What do you call a group of religious oranges?

Jehovah's citruses.

Oranges joke, What do you call a group of religious oranges?

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin.

Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!

Classic.

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

A: Big hands.

I know you can't compare apples to oranges...

...but two apples do make a pear.


Username goes to the store.

He buys three oranges and goes to the till.
Username checks out.

Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges?

As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange.

What does the MacBook have in common with Donald Trump?

I would tell you....

But I don't compare apples to oranges.

Banned oranges...

It's 2021 and I went to the supermarket to buy some oranges but couldn't find any. I went to another one but there were no oranges again...

I asked the store manager what's the matter

He said "Trump banned all the Muslims for what some of them did so the new president banned all the oranges for what one of them did".

What does Donald Trump have if he has 8 apples in one hand and 6 oranges in the other?

Really big hands.... or so as he claims.

If Dave has 4 oranges in one hand and 7 in the other, what does Dave have?

Big F***in' Hands

My girlfriend always gets mad when I mess with her red wine…

So I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now she's sangria then ever…

They asked if I ate oranges in the service.

I said, "Why of course, I was a Navel Officer."

A Jewish man's mother-in-law is in court for stealing a bag of oranges...

The judge says, Well, since you stole 6 oranges, your punishment is 6 nights in jail, one for each orange. Immediately the Jewish Man jumps up out of his seat and yells, WAIT! The whole room is shocked. What is it? Do you not feel that this is a fair punishment? Asks the judge. Oh No. I think it's very fair. I just wanted to add that she stole a bag of peas as well...

If my wife has 6 oranges in one hand and then adds 4 apples to the other hand, then what does she have?

No shot of blocking an uppercut.

What kind of oranges do sailors eat to fight off scurvy?

Navel oranges

Did you know oranges have genders?

If one squirts in your eye without warning, it's a male.

If it's bitter for absolutely no reason, it's female.

What's the difference between Steve Jobs and Donald Trump?

A good many things, but it's a little unfair to compare Apples to oranges.

Why can't fruit be compared?

Apples and oranges cannot be peared.

Steve Jobs would've been a better POTUS than Trump

Well...

Maybe not?

It's hard to compare apples and oranges.

The teacher: jimmy if in this hand I have 10 oranges and in the other 7 apples what do I have?

Very big hands

What is the highest religious authority among oranges called?

The Pulp.

Why doesn't Donald Trump compare his leadership to Steve Jobs?

Even *he* knows not to compare Apples and oranges.

I have a drinking problem and I need help.

If Bob has drunk 2 cups of orange juice and Steve has drunk 3, and each cup has the juice of 4 oranges, how many oranges did the buy?

A Lot Of People Are Saying Steve Jobs Would Make A Better President than Trump.

But that's just ridiculous, it's like comparing apples and oranges.

If you have 6 oranges in one hand and 7 in the other hand, what do you have?

Really big hands.

Why can't you compare Washington State and Florida?

Because it'd be like comparing apples and oranges.

Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump...

But i shouldn't compare apples and oranges.

Comparing subjects that are apples to oranges isn't useless

It can lead to a fruitful discussion

A beautiful young lady works in a brothel [NSFW]

But she would never tell her family or friends about it.

One night during a police raid, all the girls need to get in line outside the brothel.

And while in line, the grandmother of the young lady walks by: "Julie, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?" "Well grandmother, at the front the line they give away free oranges!"
"Free oranges! I'll better get me some." And the grandmother steps in line.

Meanwhile the line gets processed and every girl gets interrogated.
When the cop comes at the end of the line his eyes widen: "What? You? At your age? What are you doing here?"

"Ah it's no problem, I just take it my teeth and suck them dry!"

Case of water - $3.99

Case of Apples - $20.99

Case of Oranges - $25.99

Bag of chips - $2.50

Cigarettes - $8.99

Box of candles - $4.50

Frozen pizzas - $6.50

Asking for a quote of these items - Price List

What do you get when rubbing two oranges together

Pulp friction

Why can't you compare millionaires Tim Cook and donald trump?

Apples and oranges.

You cannot compare Steve Jobs with Donald Trump.

Apples vs. oranges.

Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump...

But that's comparing apples to oranges.

Comparing Steve Jobs and Donald Trump is like..

Comparing apples and oranges.

My wife gets really mad at me when I mess with her red wine.

I added some Sprite and oranges, and now she's sangria than ever.

I have more oranges than I have apples

And you thought that I can't compare apples and oranges...

I feel that Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Donald Trump

Then again, that's like comparing apples to oranges...

Doctor says I have to stop eating the skin of oranges

That was a bitter peel to swallow

I always thought that Steve Jobs would make a better president than Donald Trump

but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to oranges

I asked my bartender if he had ever tried putting sliced oranges in a beer.

He replied, Once in a blue moon.

I wonder

Do oranges want to be juice or they pressured into it?

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

**Big hands.**

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the oranges orange hair jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working oranges orange tan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes