Orange Jokes
184 orange jokes and hilarious orange puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about orange that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you ready for some fun? Check out this collection of Orange Jokes featuring witty puns and funny one-liners about the color orange and orange-related things like oranges, orange juice, orange hair, mandarins, orange cats and more! Enjoy a good laugh with family, friends and anyone who loves the color orange.
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Funniest Orange Short Jokes
Short orange jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The orange humour may include short yellow jokes also.
- Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
- Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
- Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that's comparing apples to oranges.
- What do apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
- There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female… If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.
If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female. - I always thought that Steve Jobs would make a better president than Donald Trump but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to oranges
- What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.
- What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit? Oranges have thick skin.
Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! - How is Donald Trump like a jack-o-lantern? They are both orange, round and should be thrown out in early November.
- Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.
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Orange One Liners
Which orange one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with orange? I can suggest the ones about purple and lime.
- What rhymes with Orange No it doesn't
- I recently quit my job at the orange juice factory...... I just couldn't concentrate.
- This morning, the doctor told me I was colorblind. It came completely out of the orange.
- What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon? He got lemonaids.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
- What is the highest religious authority among oranges called? The Pulp.
- I dream of one day swimming in an ocean of orange carbonated water It's my Fanta sea.
- What do you get when rubbing two oranges together Pulp friction
- A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't."
- Oprah could be the next President. Black is the new Orange.
- What do you call gingers in auschwitz? Concentrated Orange Jews
- What is Donald Trump's Spy Name? Agent Orange!
- I Just got fired from the orange juice factory. They said I could not concentrate
- Why can't you compare millionaires Tim Cook and donald trump? Apples and oranges.
- My friend says to me: what rhymes with orange I say: no it doesn't
Orange Juice Jokes
Here is a list of funny orange juice jokes and even better orange juice puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo mama so dumb that she spent 5 hours staring at a glass of orange juice because it said 'concentrate' on the package.
- Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'
- I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice. Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
- I recently had a dream that I was swimming in a sea of carbonated orange juice. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea
- Why did the blonde keep staring into the refrigerator? Because the orange juice said concentrate.
- What's the difference between an orange and the Torah? One can make acidic juice and the other can make Hasidic Jews
(Just made this up today) - Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
- I wonder Do oranges want to be juice or they pressured into it?
- I had to quit my job at the Orange Juice factory, it was too distracting there. I just couldn't concentrate.
- Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
I shall take my leave now.
Orange Soda Jokes
Here is a list of funny orange soda jokes and even better orange soda puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
- Last night I dreamed the oceans were made of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
- I dreamed that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda But then I woke up. It was just a fanta sea.
- I've always dreamed of swimming in an ocean of orange soda Its a fanta-sea of mine
- I dreamt that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda... But I woke up and realized it was just a fanta sea.
- I sometimes dream of a rivers of orange soda But it's just a fanta-sea
- I had a dream last night where I was drowning in an ocean made from orange soda... It took me a while to figure out that it was a Fanta sea.
- Last night I dreamt that I was drinking orange soda... But the I woke up and realized that it was just a Fanta-sea.
- TIFU by sleeping with my Crush Now there's orange soda all over my bed. :(
- I've always wanted to replace the Mediterranean with orange soda I guess it's always been my biggest Fanta Sea.
Orange Walk Jokes
Here is a list of funny orange walk jokes and even better orange walk puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Beatles all walk into an orange underwater vehicle Oops, wrong sub
- I was walking past a prison the other day, and I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.
I thought to myself, now that's a little con descending. - Astounding. Walking down the grocery aisles I see orange juice powder, just add water. Powdered milk , just add water. Then I see baby powder and I think what a time to be alive!
- What is big, orange and can't walk?
- I got banned from Home Depot today A man in an orange apron walked up to me and asked me if I wanted decking. Luckily I got the first punch in!
- An orange walks into a bar and asks for a drink... The bartender looks at the orange and says " sorry I don't speak mandarin"
- What do you call a depressed clementine on a late night walk? A meanderin' orange.
- A Priest a Rabbi and a Scientologist walk into a bar... The Priest orders an orange juice, the Rabbi orders an apple juice and the Scientologist orders a lawsuit for libel, slander and defamation.
- A Jewish man walks into a cafe in Canada and asks the waiter if they have any Canadian Jews "I'm sorry," the waiter replied. "We only have orange!"
- A lemon . walks into a bar '"Hey, get me sum orange juicce pls "
Orange Color Jokes
Here is a list of funny orange color jokes and even better orange color puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just got diagnosed with color blindness. I gotta say this diagnosis came out of the orange.
- I've just been told by my doctor that I'm color blind It completely came out of the orange
- What's the loudest color? YELL-O!
(Orange ya glad I didn't say red?) - I wish orange was a common color option for android phones Would make it easier to compare them to Apples.
- At least the USA is getting two colored presidents in a row. After all, orange is the new black.
- What is a Vietnamese's favorite color? Not orange.
- I've always said I don't care what color our president is... I never expected it to be orange though
- I'm really worried of discrimination based on skin color during the Trump regime The thing is, unfortunately, I'm not orange...
- I'm torn: on the one hand, I absolutely hate xenophobia, sexism, and racism on the other hand, orange is my favorite color.
- Remember it's St Patrick's day today, try and stand out from the crowd... ... wear all orange, it's also an Irish color
Orange You Glad Jokes
Here is a list of funny orange you glad jokes and even better orange you glad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q: Why does it seem most Titles on the Front page have nothing to do with the content of the post? A: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
- how many people with alzheimers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? orange you glad i didnt say banana?
- How can you tell a comedian doesn't understand the punchline? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
- The Joke People Tell When They Don't Know Any Jokes Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange again!
UGHHHHH - What did the doctor say to the scurvy patient? "Orange you glad I didn't say AIDS?"
- My safe word is banana. After s**... I told my wife "orange you glad I didn't say banana!"
She left me, but it was worth it.
Howlingly Hilarious Orange Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about orange you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ripe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make orange pranks.
I'm not having much luck with jobs lately.
I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn't suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn't cut it as barber; didn't have the patience to be a doctor; didn't fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian.
I used to work at an orange juice factory but was fired because I couldn't concentrate.
So I tried my hand at being a lumberjack. I couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
Then i gave being a barber a go. But I didn't cut it.
I was then hired as a tailor and found I wasn't suited for the job.
A jew and a mexican are talking...
The jew says, "lemme ask you something, are theres jews in mexico?"
The mexican replies "oh yes my friend, plenty of jews...apple jews, orange jews, and tomato jews."
I thought I was drowning in an ocean
of orange soda yesterday....
It took me a while to work out it was
just a Fanta sea.
Bag Boy
This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years. One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the bag boy is really excited and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines.The manager says no. The bagger says, "But I've been working here for five years. Why can't I run the juice machines?" The manager answers, "I'm sorry, son, but baggers can't be juicers."
What did one orange say to the other orange?
Do you speak Mandarin?
What's the difference between an orange and an e**...?
... I don't have an orange.
My boyfriend's cousin introduced himself to me with this joke. Works best when whispered quietly into someone's ear at a noisy dinner party, FYI.
My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one...
Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?
How did h**... like his orange juice?
Concentrated.
What was h**...'s favorite drink?
Orange jews, 100% concentrated
Do you ever put an orange in your beer?
Once in a Blue Moon
I want an ocean of orange soda
It's a Fanta sea of mine
If you say "gullible" slowly it sounds just like "orange"
What do you call a made-up orange?
Pulp Fiction!
What kind of orange juice do Jews drink?
All kinds, just not concentrated
My friend said to me, what rhymes with orange
I said no, it certainly does not
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
Because she wasn't peeling very well...
All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here
Q: why did the blond stare at her orange juice for 2 hours?
A: because it said "concentrate"
If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say...
Orange is the new Black.
Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to.
What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?
The fruits of her labor.
An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him.
He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.
Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.
Donald Trump is like a marshmallow...
He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.
Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges?
As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange.
[Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust?
Orange Jews from concentrate
Whata country..
You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores.
He says, "On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk -- you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice -- you just add water, and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to my self, "What a country!"
Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy...
Lives in the White House.
A friend of mine asked me, "what rhymes with orange?"
I said, "no, it doesn't".
*Credit to Jimmy Carr.*
**
Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange ?
because he didn't know Mandarin
I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character
And not the President of the United States.
Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day
Teach a man to fire: he'll turn orange, run a reality show based on it, and then take over your country.
If the blue man lives in the blue house, the green man lives in the green house, and the red man lives in the red house, then who lives in the white house?
The orange man
My first job was working in an orange juice factory.
I got canned...I just couldn't concentrate.
Orange is the new Black.
in the white house.
A boy was b**... groceries at a supermarket.
One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice.
Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied.
Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."
How often do I put orange slices in my beer?
Oh, once in a Blue Moon.
I went to the bar today and asked the bartender to make me an Orange Cheeto...
"I've never heard of that," he replies.
"Well, nobody really knows what it's made of," I reply, "but I've heard it's heavily influenced by a White Russian."
What's orange, has a pointy head, and can take someone to the top?
An upvote.
I'm trying to become bilingual
Does anyone know how to say "this is a pretty small orange" in mandarin?
What do pumpkins and Donald Trump have in common?
They're both orange and need to be thrown out in early November.
I went to the doctor today. He told me I was colorblind.
I was devastated. That diagnosis really came out of the orange!
A joke my little sister thought of today
A blue man lives in the blue house, a purple man lives in the purple house, a red man lives in the red house, who lives in the white house?
An orange man.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
An orange a day keeps the plumber away...
Basically if you throw fruit at people they go away.
I looked at the ocean today, and thought it looked completely orange...
And so then I wondered if it was reality or a Fanta sea.
I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer.
He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a Blue Moon."
A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.
"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."
I have a drinking problem and I need help.
If Bob has drunk 2 cups of orange juice and Steve has drunk 3, and each cup has the juice of 4 oranges, how many oranges did the buy?
I don't put orange in my beer very often
Except maybe once in a Blue Moon
You know they say orange is the new black
I guess that's why Trump is president
I had this horrible nightmare last night!
It was just horrifying, I was on a boat in a lake, when suddenly my boat tipped over! As I fell into the lake I realized it was orange, orange crush infact! Tasted delicious, but after a minute I started sinking, I was going to drown in a lake of orange crush!
That's when I woke up and realized, it was just a fanta-sea
One of my favorite Reagan jokes:
A Soviet Diplomat goes to one of the farms in Russia, and approaches the farmer.
How are the carrots doing? Said the Diplomat.
Oh, the carrots are as big and orange as ever! Replies the farmer.
I see, and how are the beets?
Oh, sir, if Gorbachev saw these beets, he would cry with joy!
And what about the potatoes?
Sir, if we stacked the potatoes, they would be high enough to reach God!
The diplomat stares for a minute. But comrade, we don't believe in god.
Oh, good. Says the farmer. Because there are no potatoes.
Me: What rhymes with Orange
Dad: No it doesn't