Optimist Jokes

• Short Optimist Jokes
• Optimist One Liners
• Optimist Pessimist Jokes
• Optimist Vs Pessimist Jokes
• More Optimist Jokes

Funniest Optimist Short Jokes

Short optimist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The optimist humour may include short pessimist jokes also.

1. A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel
   A REALIST sees a freight train
   The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks
2. My friend is really optimistic and is always telling me : "Cheer up, you could be in a deep hole filled with water..." I know he means well...
3. A German joke from 1944 How do you tell an Optimist German from a Pessimist German? The Optimist studies English, while the Pessimist studies Russian.
4. Deep. Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.
   Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
   Realist sees light from incoming train.
   Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
5. An optimist says, the glass is half full. A pessimist says, the glass is half empty. An optometrist says, you both need glasses.
6. Pessimist: The glass is half empty... Optimist: The glass is half full
   Journalist: You won't BELIEVE what's in this glass!
7. The Pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The Optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
   The Realist sees the approaching freight train.
   The Train Driver sees 3 idiots about to get run over...
8. Optimist: "This glass is half-full." Pessimist: "This glass is half-empty." EA Employee: "Download the next half for $9.99!"
9. pessimist vs optimist (x-post from funny) The pessimist says, 'It can't get any worse!' And the optimist replies, 'Oh yes it can!
10. A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty, an optimist thinks it is half full... An engineer thinks the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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Optimist One Liners

Which optimist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with optimist? I can suggest the ones about hopeful and positive thinking.

1. Pessimist: Oh, this can't get any worse! Optimist: Yes, it can!
2. A cannibal ate an optimist once He couldn't quite keep him down.
3. Pessimist: "My life could not get any worse" Optimist: "Oh sure it can"
4. What do you get when you mix a gullible and an optimistic person Read it again
5. What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building? So far, so good.
6. Why are all optimists blind? They're constantly looking at the bright side of life.
7. Today I woke up an optimist... He thanked me for waking him up
8. Optimist: Glass half full Pessimist : Glass half empty
   Engineer: Glass is too tall.
9. Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!" Optimist: "Of course they can!"
10. What do you call an accordion player with a beeper? An optimistic optimist.
11. What do you call a fat woman who carries pepper spray? Optimistic.
12. In the dark alley, Johnny the Optimist was being beat up Half to life.
13. What blood type do optimists usually have? B positive
14. What is an optimist's blood group? B positive.
15. What blood type does an optimist have? B+

Optimist Pessimist Jokes

Here is a list of funny optimist pessimist jokes and even better optimist pessimist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between a pessimist and an optimist? A pessimist says "things can't get any worse"
  And optimist says "sure they can!"
• How do you tell an optimistic tree from a pessimistic tree? If it's negative, its roots are imaginary.
• A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates... The pessimist says "It can't get any worse" and the optimist says "Oh yes it can!"
• In Soviet Russia, pessimist says "things couldn't possibly possibly get any worse"... Russian optimist says "Yes they can!!!"
• Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, While you were arguing over that glass of water, I drank it.
  -Opportunist
• Once upon a time in a bar far far away.... The "Pessimist" saw cups half EMPTY
  The "Optimist" saw the cups half FULL
  *The woman slapped them both for staring !*
• An optimist and a pessimist are both having a terrible day. The pessimist complains, this day is horrible, it couldn't get any worse.
  The optimist hears this and replies, Oh yes it can.
• An optimist says the glass is half full, a pessimist says the glass is half empty... ... an engineer just points out that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
• Engineers' view about a glass of water! To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
  To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
  To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
• A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees a freight train. The train driver sees 3 idiots standing in the way of his train.

Optimist Vs Pessimist Jokes

Here is a list of funny optimist vs pessimist jokes and even better optimist vs pessimist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Have I told you about the Russian optimist vs the pessimist? The pessimist says, " Things could not get worse."
  The optimist says, " Oh yes they can."

Entertaining Optimist Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about optimist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hope jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make optimist pranks.