Optician Jokes
44 optician jokes and hilarious optician puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about optician that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Optician Short Jokes
Short optician jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The optician humour may include short optometrist jokes also.
- I've been trying really hard to break up with my optician girlfriend. Every time I tell her I can't see her any more, she moves a bit closer to me says "How about now, is that any better?"
- They laughed at me when I said I wanted to become an optician But they'll see, they'll all see.
- YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL ALL SEE! An enthusiastic optician throwing dozens of pairs of glasses out into a crowd.
- She dimmed the lights. She leaned in. She looked straight into my eyes. I kissed her.
And now I am arrested by the police for misbehaving with the optician. - The optician just took my glasses from me to repair them. They said they can fix it in 5 minutes. I can't see it happening.
- I went to the optician today because I keep seeing the world fall apart. He said I have 2020 vision.
- Did you hear about the optician who fell into his lens grinding machine He made a spectacle of himself.
- How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb? Is it one or two?! One... or two?!
- A Chinese man goes to the optician A Chinese man goes to the optician and the doctor tells him he has a Cataract.
That Chinese man says "no, I have a BMW". - Which profession has the worst sense of humour? Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes.
But opticians like them *cornea*.
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Optician One Liners
Which optician one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with optician? I can suggest the ones about eye doctor and ophthalmologist.
- Guess who I bumped into on my way to the optician? *Everyone!*
- Guess who I bumped into at the opticians the other day? Everyone!
- What did the evil optician say? "You'll see. You'll ALL see! Muahahahahaha!"
- An optician fell into his lens grinder... and made a spectacle of himself.
- How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb ? Is it 1 or 2 ? 1 or 2 ? 1 or 2 ?
- You'll never guess who I bumped into at the opticians yesterday..... .... Everybody!
- Why did the PHP programmer go to the optician? because he didn't C#
- I was on my way to the opticians today and guess who I bumped into..... Everybody.
- A musician went to the optician He said he can't C#
- My optician told me my glasses needed some tuning... ... but now I can C# again.
- A Man Walks into an Opticians And orders fish and chips.
- My optician got sick today... thats what it looks like at least.
- My optician told me I'm colorblind today. That came right out of the purple.
- I don't trust opticians Too much small print
- Why did the terrrorist visit the optician? He couldn't see far.
Laughable Optician Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about optician you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eye glass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make optician pranks.
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, She's beautiful, isn't she? I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.
He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.
A guy sat next to me in the bus today and pulled out a photo of his wife.
He asked me Ain't she beautiful?
I said If you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife
He replied with Why, is she a stunner as well?
I said No, she's an optician
Cr
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
The Polish eye exam.
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters
~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'
'Can you read this?' the optician asked.
'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife on his phone, and said, She's beautiful, isn't she? I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.
He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.
A man sits next to me on the train and pulls out his phone showing me a photo of his girlfriend on his background screen, and said she's beautiful isn't she?
I go if you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife…
He goes why, is she a stunner?
I replied no, she's an optician
A guy sat next to me on the train today and pulled out a picture of his girlfriend.
He said ain't she beautiful?
I told him if you think she's beautiful you should see my wife
Why? Is she a stunner as well?
No she's an optician
A Woman goes to the Optician
for her annual eye test. The Optician puts a contraption her face and asks her what can she see.
"I see empty airports, I see empty football grounds. I see closed theatres, closed pubs and closed restaurants"
"That's perfect" says the Optician "You've got 2020 vision"
old but gold
Just sat next to a bloke in the pub, he takes his wallet out and pulls a photo of his wife from it. He showed it to me and said, Isn't she stunning?
I replied, if you think she is stunning you should see my wife.
Why? Is she a model?
No, I replied, she's an optician.
A man goes to the Optician for his eye test.
The Optician asked him what he can see.
"I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theaters and closed pubs."
That's perfect says the Optician, you've got 2020 vision!
A guy sits next to me on the train.
He pulls out a photo of his wife, and says, "Isn't she beautiful?!"
I replied, "Of course, but maybe you should see my girlfriend.
"Really? Is she a stunner?" he asked.
"No, she's an optician."
I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?".
I said "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."
He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?", I said "No, she's an optician."
I ran into an old friend from school today who immediately starting bragging about his wonderful life.
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, She's beautiful, isn't she?
I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend.
He said, Why? is she good looking?
I said, No, she's a optician.
My wife and I stopped by the optician's to pick up my new glasses.
Once the optician finished he minor adjustments, my wife looked up at me and said, "Wow, you look amazing! Like Clark Kent!" It made me smile...
We had other errands to run, and the compliments just kept coming; "You look like a movie star! So s**...!" Man, I felt great. In fact this kept up for the rest of the day. I was on cloud nine!
That evening, as we were getting into bed, I took off my new glasses and set them on my nightstand. My wife glanced over at me and said, "Oh. It's you."
