opposites Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious opposites puns

Apparently, over 80% of people...

Apparently, over 80% of people don't know the opposites the the following words...

1) Always

2) Coming

3) From

4) Take

5) Me

6) Down


It's even harder, I'm told, to read the opposites of those words out loud.

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Some people think the Arctic and the Antarctic are the same...

...but in reality, they are polar opposites.

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Many Americans don't know the opposites of the following words:

* Always
* Coming
* From
* Take
* Me
* Down

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All the girls I date are unemployed, drunk, and are on drugs.

I'm starting to think this whole opposites attract thing is bullshit.

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79% of people don't know the opposites of these 6 words.

1. Always
2. Coming
3. From
4. Take
5. Me
6. Down

Are YOU the 21%?

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People say maintaining a long term relationship with a girl is the same as having a full time job. I for one think there complete opposites.

After 10 years, my job still sucks.

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So we all know con is the opposite of pro, right? Well, if pro and con are opposites, then what's the opposite of progress?

Congress.

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What do you call a two dentists that live on opposite sides of the world?

Molar opposites.

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Why did the penguin break up with the walrus?

Because they were polar opposites.

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Studies shows that most people don't know the opposites to these words:

Always

Coming

From

Take

Me

Down

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Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

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Other jokes like, "If pro is the opposite of con, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress?"

Just looking for some jokes similar to this one, playing on opposites and such.

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There are many opposites in this world.

For instance: my wife's computer just shut down. Now she won't shut up.

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Why do people buy smart cars?

Because opposites attract.

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I got married because of the whole opposites attract thing...

She was pregnant and I was not.

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Santa hates penguins

True fact. Santa hates penguins.

In truth, they are polar opposites.

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Only 2% of people can solve this test!

What are the opposites of these words?

Always

Coming

From

Take

Me

Down

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Anyone know the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? Turns out they're exact opposites!

A pickpocket is always trying to snatch your watch...
And a peeping tom.. well...

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I don't get why people make drinking and getting high such a big deal.

As long as you do both in equal amounts, being complete opposites, they'll cancel each other out!

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How are moles (which eat worms) and buried corpses opposites?

Moles are living, corpses are dead.

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They say opposites attract

But how do you explain the gays

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Total Eclipses freak people out because it creates opposites of our expectations...

...Day becomes night. White becomes Black. And the midwest becomes a travel destination

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My priest always taught me that polar opposites attract...

...I guess I was compelled by how much of a pain in the ass he was.

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Two white bears got married, but soon ended up unhappy and got divorced

It's as if they were polar opposites.

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I guess it's true what they say, opposites do attract

I just told a middle class girl about how rich I am and she wants to be my girlfriend

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What does the O in China stand for?

Opposites

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My friend Antony has a master's degree in the science of opposites

Antony, M.S. studied antonyms

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Isn't it funny that the words always, coming, from, take, me, and down don't have opposites?

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OPPOSITES

IF PRO IS THE OPPOSITE OF CON. WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF PRO-GRESS?
CON-GRESS

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What are the most funny Opposites jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Opposites? Well, here are the best Opposites dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Opposites pick up lines to share with friends.

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