Opposites Jokes

What are some Opposites jokes?

Apparently, over 80% of people...

Apparently, over 80% of people don't know the opposites the the following words...

1) Always

2) Coming

3) From

4) Take

5) Me

6) Down


It's even harder, I'm told, to read the opposites of those words out loud.

Some people think the Arctic and the Antarctic are the same...

...but in reality, they are polar opposites.

Many Americans don't know the opposites of the following words:

* Always
* Coming
* From
* Take
* Me
* Down

All the girls I date are unemployed, drunk, and are on drugs.

I'm starting to think this whole opposites attract thing is bullshit.

79% of people don't know the opposites of these 6 words.

1. Always
2. Coming
3. From
4. Take
5. Me
6. Down

Are YOU the 21%?

A few electrons are having a party

When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:

"Bond. Covalent Bond."

People say maintaining a long term relationship with a girl is the same as having a full time job. I for one think there complete opposites.

After 10 years, my job still sucks.

So we all know con is the opposite of pro, right? Well, if pro and con are opposites, then what's the opposite of progress?

Congress.

What do you call a two dentists that live on opposite sides of the world?

Molar opposites.

Why did the penguin break up with the walrus?

Because they were polar opposites.

Studies shows that most people don't know the opposites to these words:

Always

Coming

From

Take

Me

Down

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

The white bear and the penguin tried to make their relationship work, but they couldn't.

They were polar opposites.

Other jokes like, "If pro is the opposite of con, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress?"

Just looking for some jokes similar to this one, playing on opposites and such.

There are many opposites in this world.

For instance: my wife's computer just shut down. Now she won't shut up.

Why do people buy smart cars?

Because opposites attract.

I got married because of the whole opposites attract thing...

She was pregnant and I was not.

I asked a friend what type of animal she would be and she said "I would be a penguin-bear"

I said: "Those are like, POLAR opposites"

Santa hates penguins

True fact. Santa hates penguins.

In truth, they are polar opposites.

Only 2% of people can solve this test!

What are the opposites of these words?

Always

Coming

From

Take

Me

Down

I don't get why people make drinking and getting high such a big deal.

As long as you do both in equal amounts, being complete opposites, they'll cancel each other out!

How to make Opposites jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Opposites to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Opposites? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Opposites pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes