Opposite Jokes

• Short Opposite Jokes
• Opposite One Liners
• Opposite Sides Jokes
• Opposite Word Jokes
• Opposite Day Jokes
• Opposite Direction Jokes
• Opposite Gender Jokes
• More Opposite Jokes

Funniest Opposite Short Jokes

Short opposite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The opposite humour may include short opposing jokes also.

1. 79% of people don't know opposite words for the following: 1) Always
   2) Coming
   3) From
   4) Take
   5) Me
   6) Down
2. My girlfriend dumped me today saying I was too childish But today is opposite day so it's all good
3. Did you know that the majority of people don't know the opposite of these words? Always
   Coming
   From
   Take
   Me
   Down
4. A majority of English Speakers do not know the opposite of these words... Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
5. My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me! I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us.
6. I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish.
7. Did you know most people don't know the opposite to these words? 1. Always
   2. Coming
   3. From
   4. Take
   5. Me
   6. Down
8. Son: Dad, what's the opposite of Karen? Dad: Umm, I don't know, Sharon...?
   Son: But I thought Sharon was Karen.
9. "Son, do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is?" "No dad," I say rolling my eyes.
   "Mentos."
10. Are you smart enough to do this. Say the opposite of these words.
    Always.
    Coming.
    From.
    Take.
    Me.
    Down.

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Opposite One Liners

Which opposite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with opposite? I can suggest the ones about contrary and vice versa.

1. What's the opposite of lady fingers? Mentos
   (I will see myself out)
2. What's the opposite of "Debbie Downer"? Beth-amphetamine
3. What's the opposite of Holy Water? Nestle
4. Shout out to those who don't know the opposite of in. They need the help.
5. What's the opposite of a microwave? A tsunami.
6. The opposite of an assassin is a dickdickout
7. Dad: What's the opposite of ladyfingers? Kids : no idea
   Dad : mentos
8. Had to quit my job at the watch factory. The guy sitting opposite me, kept making faces.
9. If the opposite of pro is con... Then that means the opposite of congress is progress.
10. Shout out to anyone who is wondering what the opposite of in is.
11. What's the opposite of ground beef? High steaks
12. What's the opposite of a waterfall? A firefly!
    I will now leave.
13. What is the opposite of a protein? An amateur teen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
14. What is the opposite of mansplaining? Missunderstanding.
15. What is the opposite of Christopher Walkin? Christopher Reeve.

Opposite Sides Jokes

Here is a list of funny opposite sides jokes and even better opposite sides puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a lake. One yells to the other, "Hey! How do I get to the other side!?",
  to which the other replies "You are on the other side!"
• A horse walks into a bar and says, On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle? The bartender says, Y, the long face.
• Two men are on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouts: How do I get to the other side?
  The second shouts back: You are on the other side!
• Two blonds are on opposite sides of a river "Hey!!! How do I get on the other side??"
  "You idiot!! You're already on the other side!!!"
• An Englishman and an Irishman are standing on opposite sides of a river The Englishman asks "How do I get to the other side?"
  The Irishman yells back "What'r ye talkin about? you're already there!"
• What do you call a two dentists that live on opposite sides of the world? Molar opposites.
• Two blondes were standing on opposite sides of a lake -Hey, how do I get to the other side? Yelled one blonde
  -You are already on the other side. The other one answered
• Two men are on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouts to the second... "How do i get to the other side of the river"
  The second man shouts back :
  "You are on the other side of the river."
• Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country? Because opposite poles attract
• 2 Blondes On Opposite River Banks 1 Yelled "How Do I Get To The Other Side"? She Yelled Back "You'r On The Other Side".

Opposite Word Jokes

Here is a list of funny opposite word jokes and even better opposite word puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• 85% of Millennials struggle with figuring out the opposite of these words. Always
  Coming
  Take
  Me
  Down
• Many Americans don't know the opposites of the following words: * Always
  * Coming
  * From
  * Take
  * Me
  * Down
• 79% of people don't know the opposites of these 6 words. 1. Always
  2. Coming
  3. From
  4. Take
  5. Me
  6. Down
  Are YOU the 21%?
• I spent two years figuring out the opposite word for night. But after all that time I decided to give up and call it a day.
• Studies shows that most people don't know the opposites to these words: Always
  Coming
  From
  Take
  Me
  Down
• You don't know the opposites of these words 1) Always
  2) Coming
  3) From
  4) Take
  5) Me
  6) Down
• The opposite of mansplaining is womansplaining. I could explain it to you but... Have you even listened to a word I said?! I didn't think so! God! Why do I even try with you!
• What six letter word has an opposite meaning when it is reversed? The answer is united. When IT is reversed, it becomes untied.
• About 90% of people do not know the opposite of these words... Always Coming From Take Me Down
• My brother in law was trying to explain something, and was trying to think of a word for the opposite of verbally And I said: oh you mean Nounally!

Opposite Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny opposite day jokes and even better opposite day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Where is the worst place to be on Opposite Day? The maternity ward
• What did the Redditor say on opposite day? Sometimes white lies are OK and it's not always gaslighting .
• I heard that, on opposite day, Pinocchio's nose actually works the other way around. Big if true.
• Did you know today is opposite day? All the BMW's on the road used their turn signals.
• Total Eclipses freak people out because it creates opposites of our expectations... ...Day becomes night. White becomes Black. And the midwest becomes a travel destination
• A rapists favorite day is opposite day... Because no means yes.
• I blow my kids' minds when they tell me, "Daddy, it's the opposite day." And I say... .."is it?"
• It was opposite day today. While I was walking somewhere on my hands, someone "pantsed" me. Now I have an idea for a T-Skirt.
• It's Opposite Day. What's the last letter of the alphabet? Not Z.
• It's opposite day. Or is it?

Opposite Direction Jokes

Here is a list of funny opposite direction jokes and even better opposite direction puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Matthew McConaughey just bought NASCAR And he's making racers drive the opposite direction. Now instead of making left turns, they're going all right, all right, all right
• Yo mama so fat She has to turn around twice to face the opposite direction
• My dog and I both freak out whenever the doorbell rings but we run in opposite directions.
• Yo mamma so fat when she moves earth moves in opposite direction. because it's flat, you dumb genius.
• I bumped into two average Joes hanging out together, so I booked it the opposite direction... ... pair-a-normal activity freaks me out.
• The Race "Bound 2" Fail Why did Kanye West's daughter run the opposite direction at her race?
  -When the race began her parents shouted "GO NORTH WEST!!!"
• PQ syndrome When you point your weener in one direction, pee comes out the opposite.
  Physically may be impossible, but scientists have concurred that alphabetically very much possible.
• Two women were driving on the highway when the traffic rapport broadcast said there was a car driving in the opposite direction. "One? There are hundreds of them"
• How do you make a group of black dudes run a quarter mile from each other all in opposite directions? Tell them a joke
• I took my new car back to the dealers, complaining it only did left turns - "drive in the opposite direction then" he said.

Opposite Gender Jokes

Here is a list of funny opposite gender jokes and even better opposite gender puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• There is a short time, later on in every woman's life, when she ignores the opposite gender for a while It's called men-on-pause
• What's the best board game for someone that's experienced a great deal of desperation from the opposite gender? Men all plea

Silly Opposite Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about opposite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean opponent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make opposite pranks.