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Ophthalmologist Jokes

17 ophthalmologist jokes and hilarious ophthalmologist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ophthalmologist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Ophthalmologist Short Jokes

Short ophthalmologist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ophthalmologist humour may include short optometrist jokes also.

  1. A Polish goes to the ophthalmologist. The doctor shows him:
    C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z
    - Can you read this?
    - Read? I know this guy!
  2. I told my friend: I have an appointment with an ophthalmologist today by noon. Then he asked me: and then what?
    Well, I said, then I'll see...
  3. I wanted to impress my ophthalmologist so I told her a joke about eyes. She said I have a vitreous humor.
  4. What does an ophthalmologist do if he has to perform surgery, but doesn't remember how to do the procedure? He has to Improve eyes....
  5. I have a friend whose an ophthalmologist, and he thinks I'm not so enthusiastic about the idea of him going into business for himself... In my words. I said Open up a store for all eye care.
  6. what's the difference between a dermatologist and an ophthalmologist? one treats psoriasis and the other treats sore eyes and cysts

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Ophthalmologist One Liners

Which ophthalmologist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ophthalmologist? I can suggest the ones about eye doctor and optician.

  1. How many ophthalmologists does it take to change a light bulb? 1... or 2? 1... or 2?
  2. What's another name for an eye dropper ? Clumsy ophthalmologist
  3. What do you call a vampire ophthalmologist? Count Drocular
  4. What do Chinese ophthalmologist drive? Cataracts.
  5. I'm sorry, can you tell me where's the ophthalmologist? You blind?

Ophthalmologist joke, I'm sorry, can you tell me where's the ophthalmologist?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about ophthalmologist can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of ophthalmologist puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Charming Humor Ophthalmologist Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about ophthalmologist you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean urologist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make ophthalmologist prank.

A man sits next to another man on the train and pulls out a photo of his wife isn't she beautiful?

Other man: If you think she's beautiful you should see my wife
First man: Why? Is she a stunner?
Other man: No, she's an ophthalmologist

So, apparently Rand Paul was s**... punched...

So Rand Paul, who happens to be an ophthalmologist, apparently got into a fight with his neighbor, an anesthesiologist. Paul claims he was s**... punched, but neither man was badly hurt.
Does make you wonder, though - an ophthalmologist who didn't see it coming and an anesthesiologist who failed to deliver a knockout - seems like both men let their professions down badly...

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer

were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

An engineer, a doctor and a priest are playing golf

There is an old joke about an engineer, a priest, and a doctor enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. That's a group of blind firefighters, they are told. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse last year, so we let them play for free.
The priest says, I will say a prayer for them tonight.
The doctor says, Let me ask my ophthalmologist colleagues if anything can be done for them.
And the engineer says, Why can't they play at night?"

An Asian man goes to the Ophthalmologist...

(you gotta say this one out loud. Doesn't work so well written/read)
After some tests, the doctor comes back and tells him: "You have a cataract."
The patient looks at him, confused, and says: "No I don't. I drive a Rincoln."

A cop gets shot while on duty

He goes into surgery, and falls into a coma.
His grieving wife is billed a few weeks later. She is confused to find part of her bill includes "a service from an ophthalmologist." She then decides to visit the hospital to see why they needed one.
Wife: Why did you need an ophthalmologist for my husband? Are you scamming me?!
Doctor: Ma'am, we suspected your husband was suffering from glockcoma.

Ophthalmologist joke, I wanted to impress my ophthalmologist so I told her a joke about eyes.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these ophthalmologist jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.