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Operating Jokes

101 operating jokes and hilarious operating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about operating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with this collection of jokes! From surgeons to technicians, this article has something for every operating room professional. Discover the best operating room jokes that poke fun at everything from operating systems to operating room nurses and much more.

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Funniest Operating Short Jokes

Short operating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The operating humour may include short operated jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital? I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
  2. My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
  3. What's the most common operation in a lego hospital? Plastic surgery.
    [Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]
  4. Before my operation, the anaesthesiologists asked if I wanted to be knocked out via gas or boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation.
  5. McDonald's has paused operations in Russia. They've successfully established a No Fry Zone.
  6. My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items It's a small scale operation
  7. McDonalds has decided to close all operations in Russia They're calling it a "no fry" zone.
  8. What's the difference between Taxes and Texas? Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
  9. What`s the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS? How would I know, I`m just a US air force Operator.
  10. Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by... "What's so funny?" asks the dermatologist.
    "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

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Operating One Liners

Which operating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with operating? I can suggest the ones about business operations and conducting.

  1. Dogs can't operate an Mri machines... But catscan
  2. Life is like a helicopter I have no idea how to operate a helicopter
  3. What do you call the game Operation without the batteries? Autopsy
  4. Dogs can't operate MRI scanners... But catscan
  5. What's the name of the operation to change a woman into a man? Addadictomy.
  6. Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus? Because he'd urn-ed it.
  7. What operating system does Varys have on his computer? Unix
  8. I heard dogs can't operate an MRI But catscan
  9. What's is a Frenchman's favorite operating system? Microissant
  10. dogs aren't smart enough to operate mri machines but catscan
  11. What frequency do police radios operate on? 100 niggahurts
  12. Walter Jr. had to use both feet to operate the pedals. He was braking bad.
  13. How do CIA operatives get their children to go to sleep? They make up a cover story.
  14. Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
  15. What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital? Plastic surgery.

Operating System Jokes

Here is a list of funny operating system jokes and even better operating system puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Brilliant idea for a start-up Imma build a new operating system which, when the disk gets full, randomly deletes half your files.
    Gonna call it thanOS.
  • I had to call tech support for my computer the other day. Tech Support: It seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.
    Me: So?
  • Why do astronauts prefer the Linux operating system. Because you can't open Window's in space.
  • What is a castrated male's favorite operating system? Unix.
  • What is Iron Man's least favorite operating system? ThanOS
  • What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer? A co-operating system.
  • What operating system did the ancient Egyptian Pharaohs use? Ubuntutankhamun
  • I recently installed a new Operating System. The problem is that it randomly deleted half of my files. It is called Than OS.
  • What's the best operating system? ThanOS. It maximizes its resources by periodically killing half of its processes.
  • What operating system does Thanos' devices run on? ThanOS

Operating Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny operating room jokes and even better operating room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "We're losing him!" shouted the physician assistant halfway through the surgery "Not on my watch!" shouted the surgeon.
    And he runs out of the operating room.
  • What did one doctor say to to other who was taking too long in the operating room? "Would you hurry it up, I am losing my patients!"
  • Elevator operator seems like a decent career field Heard there's a lot of room to move up
  • Operating rooms should be called gash stations.
  • As I got into the operating room, my surgeon said it was a big day for the both of us... He said, "Congratulations! This is my first surgery and your last!"
  • I was working hard in the operating room during a heart transplant when the nurse asks me "What are you doing?" I just keep chanting "Kali Ma! Kali Ma!"
  • A new doctor came out of the operating room... ... Knelt down, raised his arms, looked heaven wards and said loudly:
    "O Mother Goddess! please accept my first sacrificial offering"
  • Why was the patient happy? He left the operating room in stitches.
  • Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
Operating joke

Operating joke

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about operating can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of operating puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Operating Jokes

What funny jokes about operating you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean operations management jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make operating prank.

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

So a guy wakes up in the middle of an operation

He screams and says to the doctor "What are you doing, don't do that." The doctor says "Fine, suture self."

A husband and wife are in a car c**...

They are both badly injured, but recover soon enough. However, the wife's face was badly injured during the c**... and she needs a skin graft to replace the skin on her cheeks.
The doctor says "The good news is, we know just the place to find the skin for your cheeks." He turns to the husband and says, "The bad news, however, is that the skin needs to come from your buttocks."
The husband quickly agrees. The wife says, "Honey, are you sure?" He says, "Of course, you're my wife, I would do anything for you!"
And so, the operation occurs. The wife's face is as restored as can be.
A while later, the wife says "Honey, how can I ever thank you for this?"
"You don't need to. I get all the satisfaction I need when my dear mother-in-law kisses your cheek."

A lawyer undergoes heart surgury, and is in bed in the recovery area

As he wakes up, he notices the room is dark, and a doctor is standing there. He asks the doctor, "Why did you close all the window shades?"
The doctor says, "There was a large fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you didn't survive the operation."

s**... after surgery

A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked ...
How long will it be before I am able to have a normal s**... life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, and a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied ...
Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

Funniest joke of all time...according to Wikipedia...thought I share.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"[

I made this joke!

One day the king feels the urge to examine his castle dungeons and ensure everything is running smoothly. His examination is going well when he runs across the guy operating the rack. After a bit of conversation the king asks how the rack operator's job is going to which he replies "well, it's just one long 'knight' after another."

My rabbi told me this one.

An orthodox Jewish man is about to go through heart surgery.
Before his doctor begins, he asks the Jewish man if he's ever had a surgical operation before, and if so, how it went.
The Jewish man responds, "I've only had surgery one time, and I couldn't walk for a year and a half."

Telegraph

A dog walks into a telegraph office, puts $1 on the counter and says:
"Woof woof woof, woof woof, woof woof woof woof"
The operator says to the dog "Its $1 for 10 words, shall I put another woof on there?"
The dog then says "But then that wouldn't make any sense!"

A man enters an elevator, and the operator asks him what floor he wants.

The man says "Eighteenth floor." After arriving, the doors open and the operator says "We are here, my son."
The man says "Thanks, but why did you call me your son?"
The operator replies "Because I have brought you up."

A guy calls 911 and says: "I hit a pig on the side of the highway, what do I do?"

The operator replies: "If it's still alive, put it out of its misery."
The operator hears a gunshot and then the man comes back on the phone.
"Done, now what do I do with his motorcycle?"

I have a really good relatipnship with the elevator operator.

We speak to eachother on so many different levels.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one collapses...

He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

A r**...'s father passed away in his sleep

So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"

Two hunters are out in the woods when suddenly one of them collapses. The other hunter pulls out his phone and calls 911

"My friend is dead, what am I going to do?" the hunter desperately asks.
"Just take is easy, I will help you. First; you need to make sure that he really is dead." the operator replies calmly.
#BANG
"Ok, now what?"

Can I talk to my son?

A father was nervously waiting for the risky surgery of his son to end. When he saw the doctor come out of the operating room he asked him: Doctor, could I talk to my son? So the doctor reassuringly responds: Of course. Nurse! Bring this man a ouija board!

An english boat is sinking near the German coast

The english operator contacts the German control. "This is UK120, We are sinking, I repeat, We are sinking".
The germans respond: "What are you sinking about?"

A lawyer had just undergone surgery

...and as he came out of the anesthesia, he said,
"Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?"
"There's a big fire across the street and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure."

I called the ASPCA hotline to tell them I'd just found six Badgers in a suitcase by the side of the road

"Are they moving?" asked the operator
"Not sure" I replied "But that would explain the suitcase"

Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead

Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"
The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"
The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."
There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"

Doctor of death!

Impressively, only 2% of the people I operated on died last year. But for some reason the authorities think that's too high for a dentist.

Pain.

Two young boys are waiting for their
surgery…
What operation are you having done?
Getting my tonsils out, what about you?
Circumcision
Oh that's bad, I had that done when I was born
and I couldn't walk for a year

Best Joke in the history of jokes, maybe ever

2 guys are hunting in the woods. The first guy faints and stops breathing. The second guy calls 911 and they say "911, what's your emergency?".
The guy says "My friend and I were hunting in the woods and he fainted. I think he's dead."
The 911 operator responds "First make sure that he is dead before anything"
A loud shot is heard. The guy then says "Ok, what do I do next"

Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car

The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.

He's not breathing so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down sir, first make sure that he's really dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

I wanted to write a movie script about a retired CIA agent who has to rely on his old skills to save his kidnapped daughter, but that idea was taken.

So I thought instead I'd write a script about a retired CIA operative who is taken hostage along with his wife in Instanbul, but that idea was taken, too.

Mom got a s**... change operation

After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a s**... change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a s**... change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."

My friends and I just started a business where we weigh tiny objects.

It's a small scale operation.

The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."

An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car

Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.
Operator: What is your location sir?
Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.
Operator: How do you Spell that sir?
Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...
Operator: Are you there sir?
More heavy breathing and another minute later...
Operator: Sir, can you hear me?
This goes on for another few minutes until...
Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?
Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.

To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

Ever since I went through with my s**... change operation my kids have been completely ignoring me

It's like I'm transparent.

My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.

His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."

A teenager got s**... in well.

He calls 911.
Boy: 911?
Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Boy: I'm stuck in a well.
Operator: How old are you? Is the well deep?
Boy: im14andthisisdeep.

Four Surgeons are getting coffee

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".
"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their a**... are interchangeable."

A couple of Blondes are out in the woods hunting.......

When one of them falls to the ground and her eyes close. The other blonde whips out her cell phone and calls 911. She gasps to the operator, Help! Help! My friend Holly is dead! What should I do? The operator, in a calm voice, says, Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure she's really dead.
After a brief silence, a shot rings out, then the blonde's voice comes back on the line. OK, now what?

If There's h**... Below …

As a lawyer woke up in the hospital after surgery he asked, Why are all the blinds drawn in here? The nurse answered, There's a fire across the street and we didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure.

I rallied the kids and we all secretly did house work while Mom was out running errands

It was a cleandestine operation.

911, whats your emergency?

Operator:
Man: A guy just got hit by a car, i need an ambulance.
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on eucalyptus street.
Operator: Can you spell that out for me?
Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man: I'm gonna drag him over to pine street and call right back.

Vladimir Putin just gave a statement about Russia's peace keeping operation in Ukraine

It's a piece-keeping operation. I'll be keeping this piece of Ukraine, and this piece. Ooh, and this piece is rather lovely, too!

The Democrats have a plan to make the Republicans sound s**....

Operation "Just Let Them Talk"

I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son."

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head, "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

I took the plunge three years ago, and had a vasectomy done.

Mainly because I didn't want any kids at all. However, when I got home after the operation, they were still there..

A lawyer woke up in the hospital after surgery

He asked, Why are all the blinds drawn in here? The nurse answered, There's a fire across the street and we didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure.

God the Engineer

Three engineers are having lunch and discussing what kind of engineer God is. The mechanical engineer says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look at the complex structures of the body!" The electrical engineer says, "No, look at the electrical processes of the body, which the brain could not operate without, he must be an electrical engineer." The civil engineer says, "You're both wrong, he had to be a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste line through a recreational area?"

To surprise her hubby, an executive's wife stopped by his office.

When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gents, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

Three surgeons are talking about their favorite kinds of patients.

"My favorite patients are librarians." says the first surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because their organs are all in alphabetical order."
"My favorite patients are mathematicians." says the second surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because all their organs are numbered."
"My favorite patients are politicians." says the third surgeon. "They're the easiest to operate on because they have no guts, no brains, they're heartless and their heads and buttocks can easily be switched."

One day Ole's wife Lena died.

When Ole called the coroner he told them in a heavy norwegian accent that they lived on eucalyptus street.
The operator (unable to understand) asked if he could spell it.
Ole replied. "Ill just drag her over to "Oak"

Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.

Two hunters walk through the woods...

Suddenly, one of them grabs his chests, grunts... and falls to the ground...
The other immediately takes out his phone and calls 911. He explains the situation to the operator and says his college is dead.
The operator says: "Are you sure? Is he really dead?"... silence
The operator then hears a gunshot... The hunter says: "Yeah, he's dead... What do I do now?"

Why did the accordion teacher get a job as an elevator operator? He knew how to push all the right buttons.

Why do elevator operators hate Scott Stapp from Creed?

He keeps asking them if they can take him higher.

Operating joke, Why do elevator operators hate Scott Stapp from Creed?

jokes about operating

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these operating jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.