Operate Jokes
57 operate jokes and hilarious operate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about operate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Operate Short Jokes
Short operate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The operate humour may include short operation jokes also.
- What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital? I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
- My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
- What's the most common operation in a lego hospital? Plastic surgery.
[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke] - Before my operation, the anaesthesiologists asked if I wanted to be knocked out via gas or boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation.
- McDonald's has paused operations in Russia. They've successfully established a No Fry Zone.
- My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items It's a small scale operation
- McDonalds has decided to close all operations in Russia They're calling it a "no fry" zone.
- What's the difference between Taxes and Texas? Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
- What`s the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS? How would I know, I`m just a US air force Operator.
- Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by... "What's so funny?" asks the dermatologist.
"Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.
Share These Operate Jokes With Friends
Operate One Liners
Which operate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with operate? I can suggest the ones about perform and exec.
- Dogs can't operate an Mri machines... But catscan
- Life is like a helicopter I have no idea how to operate a helicopter
- What do you call the game Operation without the batteries? Autopsy
- Dogs can't operate MRI scanners... But catscan
- What's the name of the operation to change a woman into a man? Addadictomy.
- Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus? Because he'd urn-ed it.
- What operating system does Varys have on his computer? Unix
- I heard dogs can't operate an MRI But catscan
- What's is a Frenchman's favorite operating system? Microissant
- dogs aren't smart enough to operate mri machines but catscan
- What frequency do police radios operate on? 100 niggahurts
- Walter Jr. had to use both feet to operate the pedals. He was braking bad.
- How do CIA operatives get their children to go to sleep? They make up a cover story.
- Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
- What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital? Plastic surgery.
Great Operate Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about operate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean open jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make operate pranks.
Q. "Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?"
A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."
Two functions walk down the street
Two functions walk down the street, 5 and e^x. They see Derivative walking towards them. 5 freaks out, screaming Oh no! Oh no! Derivative is going to come up and operate on me, and then I'll be zero - Oh no!! e^x smugly walks up to Derivative and says, Ha! I'm e^x. You can operate on me all you want and I'll still be e^x. You can't touch me. Derivative looks up, raises an eyebrow, and responds, Oh yeah? I'm partial, with respect to Y.
A company in Thailand recently opened the first combination brothel/tennis facility.
They operate on a first come / first serve basis.
How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb?
**None**. They operate in the **dark**.
Joke Time 2
To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
How does a train driver operate a train while eating gum?
He goes chew chew chew...
creds to my 5yo brother
A man asked me if I could figure out how to operate a camera...
I told him I'd look into it and give it my best shot.
Dogs can't operate medical equipment...
But cats can.
Why do cats make better medical technicians than dogs?
Because dogs can't operate MRI machines, but catscan.
A dog can't operate an MRI...
...but catscan.
Undomesticated animals can't operate computed axial tomography scans
But PET scan.
Speaking of PET scans, did you guys hear about the new law they passed in Oregon where dogs can no longer operate MRI machines?
Apparently cats can.
A wife decides to surprise her husband at work.
She walks into his office to find him sitting at his desk, on the phone, with his extremely attractive secretary perched on his lap.
Upon catching sight of his wife the husband says into the phone, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with only one chair."
I've always wanted to be a train engineer. I spent 15 years in engineering school, 10 years learning about train history, and 5 years learning how to operate a train.
I really thought I would've been trained by now.
Dogs cant operate an MRI machine
but cat scan
Every machine is a smoke machine...
If you operate it wrong enough.
My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.
His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."
At our tattoo studio, women can flash their b**... to get a discount
The business model we operate on is "t**... for tat".
Life is a lot like a helicopter.
I have no clue how to operate it.
How does an ecoterrorist operate?
He plants a bomb
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine
Catscan
Four Surgeons are getting coffee
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".
"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their a**... are interchangeable."
How many Buzzfeed employees does it take to operate an electric chair?
10, but 4 will shock you.
A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office...
another man is sitting next to a shredding machine.
"Do you know how to operate this thing?" he asks. "I have an important paper here and I want to make sure this is done right."
"Sure," the other man answers. "Just put the paper in here and press this button."
The first man does so, saying, "Great. And where do the copies come out?"
The Pope recently had Colon Surgery. Imagine having to operate on such an important person...
The surgeon probably poped himself
Reality vs LinkedIn
Reality:
I got my driving license
Linkedin:
I am honored and thrilled to announce that I have been selected among the top 5 applicants who participated in professional and the most-respected exam which evaluates the skills and ability to operate fuel-based vehicles. I cannot wait to see what the next chapter holds, and I cannot express my appreciation to the ministry of transportation, Wendy's, Google, NASA, my neighbors who supported me during this difficult journey.
Slots
A woman is on vacation in Las Vegas, playing the slot machines. It's her first time in a casino, so she asks a casino employee, "How does this work?" The worker shows her how to insert a bill, how to hit the spin button, and to operate the machine's release handle. "And where does the money come out?" the woman asks.
The casino employee smiles, motions to the far wall, and says, "Usually at the ATM."
Did you know that there is a federal law that governs all bbq restaurants? They all must operate within it.
It's called Cole's law.
We are going to operate on Mike tonight for his stomach cancer.
Today is open Mike night.
What did the tropical bird say when he was asked to help operate an industrial machine?
"Don't worry, one bird usually can't operate this machine on his own.
But toucan."
3 surgeons were arguing on the golf course about who makes the best patients.
The first one said he loved librarians to operate on. When you open them up, every part is in alphabitical order. The second doc said no, electricians are the best! Everything inside is color coded. The third doc said he had spent most of his career working in D C. That the absolute best surgical patients were polliticians. Their heads are interchangable with theirs a**... and they have no internal organs as they are completely full of s**...!
God the Engineer
Three engineers are having lunch and discussing what kind of engineer God is. The mechanical engineer says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look at the complex structures of the body!" The electrical engineer says, "No, look at the electrical processes of the body, which the brain could not operate without, he must be an electrical engineer." The civil engineer says, "You're both wrong, he had to be a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste line through a recreational area?"
To surprise her hubby, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gents, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.
Three surgeons are talking about their favorite kinds of patients.
"My favorite patients are librarians." says the first surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because their organs are all in alphabetical order."
"My favorite patients are mathematicians." says the second surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because all their organs are numbered."
"My favorite patients are politicians." says the third surgeon. "They're the easiest to operate on because they have no guts, no brains, they're heartless and their heads and buttocks can easily be switched."
