Opening Lecture Jokes
4 opening lecture jokes and hilarious opening lecture puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about opening lecture that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Opening Lecture Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good opening lecture joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Professor opened with this in first year engineering lecture: What do engineers use for birth control?
Their personalities
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class.
Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate.
After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
A professor of a class...
...is giving a lecture to a very diverse group of students: an African student, a Haitian student, a Chinese student, and an American student. He says to the class, "Today we are going to have an open discussion about the relief of world hunger in other countries."
The African student says, "Hunger? What's that?"
The Haitian student says, "Relief? What's that?"
The Chinese student says "Open discussion? What's that?"
The American student says "There are other countries?"
Cynical Meanings
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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