Opening Ceremony Jokes
6 opening ceremony jokes and hilarious opening ceremony puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about opening ceremony that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheeky Opening Ceremony Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What is a good opening ceremony joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A f**... service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying the casket.
As they are walking the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
I can't describe how disappointed I am...
...that the Congo weren't in single file in the Olympic Opening Ceremony
A big bar chain opened a bar on Mount Everest.
Naturally a lot of people were really excited to be able to have a few drinks in the highest place in the world.
There was a lot of buzz and excitement about this new bar but when it came to opening day. The opening ceremony was poor, the drinks tasted bad and the service was terrible.
Everyone was bitterly disappointed that the bar did meet their expectations.
A lesson was learnt that day by the owners of the Everest Bar.
Don't set the bar so high.
The Prince of Wales and the Duke of Edinburgh
The recent death of the Duke of Edinburgh reminded me of the time that Prince Charles went to open a school in Brixton in London. The Prince's speech went well, but people were distracted by his headwear, which was a Davey Crockett-type hat made from fox fur, with the fox's tail hanging down at the back. After the ceremony the headmaster thanked Charles and said, "I couldn't help noticing what you were wearing on your head ...?"
"Ah yes", said Charles, "That was Daddy's idea. He asked where I was going today, then he said 'Brixton? Wear the fox hat'".
I sat next to an insurance salesman during Robbie Williams performance at the World Cup opening ceremony
And through it all, he offered me protection.
A cyber security conference hired Céline Dion to perform at their opening ceremony.
She sang her new song... "Can beauty come out of hashes"
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