Oozing Jokes
6 oozing jokes and hilarious oozing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about oozing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Witty Oozing Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What is a good oozing joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The teacher announces the total for an exam.
Teacher: Okay class, only John got 99/100
John:(to his classmates) Ha! See that?! You people are oozing with stupidity. You people should've followed my example. You guys should just shine shoes for a living or just live the rest of your lives as a mountain hermit. You can all drool at my excellence and you-
Teacher: The rest got 100.
When traveling the coast, a struggling merchant and his wife come accross a giant beached whale with gold coins oozing from its mouth. When his wife asked if they should take the gold for themselves, the merchant replied...
"Midas whale"
A l**... walks into a restaurant
He sits down to have dinner. His oozing sores and appearance make him nervous. He later notices a woman look at him and throw up. He walks over to apologize for his appearance ruining her dinner. She says "oh, it's not you. It's the guy behind you dipping his shrimp in your neck."
A starving vamparie is strolling down a deserted town when he sees another vampire...
...with blood oozing from his mouth.
He asks "where did you get all that blood?!"
The vampire replies: "do you see that wall over there?'
"Yes I do!!!" says the thirsty vampire.
"Well, I didn't"
She was already feeling very annoyed that night
The skimpy uniform the bar owner made them all wear was bad enough. It helped with tips, she guessed, and as a newly single mom she had to do whatever she could to pay the bills.
But the men! She could feel their oozing gazes following her as she buzzed around the room carrying drinks and clearing tables.
The last straw was when one table kept ordering single drinks, one at a time, making her come back over and over again. Finally frustrated, she blurted out
"Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!"
I like my women like I like my Taco Bell
Crunchy, Cheesy, and Oozing Guacamole!
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