Ooh Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ooh jokes. Read ooh havarti jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ooh gaga puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Cheeky Ooh Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.

A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la

Vladimir Putin just gave a statement about Russia's peace keeping operation in Ukraine

It's a piece-keeping operation. I'll be keeping this piece of Ukraine, and this piece. Ooh, and this piece is rather lovely, too!

2 monkeys sat on a branch, one says "ooh ooohh aha ha aha!"

The other says "careful, that's hot."

I went shopping with my wife today...

When I came across a group of women in short skirts.

I looked over to my wife and said "Ooh, I bet you wish you had legs like *those*"

She didn't say anything, but I could tell she was upset; I heard her sniffle as I wheeled her up the ramp into Waitrose.

jokes about ooh

There are two monkeys in a bath..

One goes 'ooh ooh ah ah!'
The other says 'put some cold in then!'

I phoned my wife today and said...

"Pack a bag dear, I've booked us into a hotel for a few nights."

"Ooh, why's that?" she asked.

I said, "Well I've been playing poker all day, havent I!"

"Really?" she asked again in excitement, "How much have you won?"

"Nothing," I replied. "I've lost the house."

My boyfriend (of an 11 year age difference) said this to me the other day...

True story: My boyfriend and I were taking a walk and he happened to be wearing his reading glasses (which I find adorable).

Me: Ooh, you look like a s**... teacher in those glasses. I think I need to stay after school...

Him: Yes, I'll show you how many times 38 goes into 27.

My wife said she's leaving me because i'm too patronising.

I said "Ooh, 'patronising' that's a big word!"

Two monkeys sit in a bath

One monkey says: "OOOH OOOH AAAH AAAH AAH OOH"

The other monkey then says: "Well put some cold water in then."

A friend of mine asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine ?

I said, "Ooh, about 15 minutes."

Restaurant for dogs

Waiter: What can I get you, sir?

Dog: I see you serve the book report. How is that prepared?

Waiter: A kid stayed up all night working on it.

Dog: Ooh! I'll have that.

You can explore ooh woah reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ooh dear dad jokes. There are also ooh puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Ooh! Ooh! I have a current events joke!

Go easy on me im drunk.

When I heard that the A/C had gone out at the AT&T Center in San Antonio tonight for the NBA finals, I thought to myself... I guess this favors the Heat.

Me : *sips wine* ooh thats good. I'd like a bottle of that please.

Priest : Ma'am, that's not how this works, please go back to your pew.

Husband : Please Call An Ambulance I Think Am Having A Heart Attack...

Wife : (Took His Mobile Phone) Quickly, Give Me The Password... Husband : Ooh I Think Am Fine Now...

Two monkeys are in a bath. One says ooh ooh ooh ahh ahh ahh

The other responds put some cold water in then!

Mum: How was school today, Johnny?

Johnny: It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!

Mum: Ooh, they do so much fun stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?

Johnny: What school?

p**... took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow

"Ooh!" said thew presenter, "This is a rare breed, do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"

"Sticks." replied p**....

Apparently, they once sat William Shakespeare in front of an infinite number of typewriters.

After a week, he had written "ooh aahh ooh ooh"

The closest I have come to being a professional comedian.

At the farmers market they told me ears of corn were a dozen for $10 or a dollar each. I said "ooh so you've got pirate corn?!?!". And he gave me a quizzical look... I said "It's a buccaneer!" And he groaned and gave me a free ear of corn.
I got paid for my comedy, that means I'm a professional right??

2 monkeys in the bath

2 monkeys in the bath.

One says to the other... "Ooh ah ah ah uh uh ooh ah ah ah ah aaah"

The other says... "Do you want me to put some more cold in?"

Me and the wife were talking about s**... role playing when she asked what I'd like to do.

I said "Well, we go to a bar separately and pretend we've never met"

"Ooh, then what?" she answered

I said "Nothing, that's it".

What did you do in school today?

Mother: How was school today, Patrick?

Patrick: It was really great mom! Today we made explosives!

Mother: Ooh, they teach some very fancy stuff to kids these days! So, what will you do at school tomorrow?

Patrick: What school?

Good romance starts with a good friendship

A bad romance starts with "ra ra ah ah ah. ro, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la,"

I was out shopping with the wife when we came across a group of young ladies wearing mini skirts. I said, ooh look at them legs! I bet you had legs like them.

She didn't answer but I think she was upset since I heard her sniffle as I wheeled her up the ramp to Walmart.

Did you hear about who went to DMX's f**...?

There was Brenda, LaTisha (uh), Linda, Felicia (okay)
Dawn, LeShaun, Ines, and Alicia (ooh)
Theresa, Monica, Sharron, Nicki (uh-huh)
Lisa, Veronica, Karen, Vicky (d**...)
Cookie, well I met her in a ice cream parlor (aight?)
Tonya, Dianne, Lori and Carla (okay)
Marina (uh) Selena (uh) Katrina (uh) Sabrina (uh)
About three Kim's (what?) Latoya, and Tina (woo)
Shelley, Bridget, Cathy, Rasheeda (uh-huh)
Kelly, Nicole, Angel, Juanita (d**...)
Stacy, Tracy, Rohna, and Ronda (what?)
Donna, Yolanda (what?) Tawana, and Wanda (what?)

I was out shopping with the wife the other day when i saw a group of young ladies all wearing mini skirts.

I said, "Ooh look at those legs, I bet you wish you had legs like them?"

She didn't answer, but I think it upset her because I heard her sniffle as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store

Ooh, you evil calendar.

Your days are numbered.

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her first-grade class.

"Class," she said, "what were the first words Jesus said when he walked out of the tomb on Easter morning?"

A little girl waved her hand excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! I know!" she said. "Pick me! Pick me!"

The teach smiled and said, "All right, Susie. What did Jesus say when he walked out of the tomb?"

Susie stood up proudly. "He said, 'TAH-DAH!'"

The Cincinnati zoo is putting in a new shooting range for it's employees.

Ooh, sorry I misread that. They are just getting a new gorilla.

A man marries a Chinese restaurant waitress...

On their wedding night, she says to him -

Bride: "Dear husband, I want to give you anything you want! Just name it!"

Groom: "Ooh, that's tough to chose. OK, I really want a sixty nine."

Bride (confused): "You want beef broccoli *now*?"

I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said "OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"

...so I drove her to New Jersey.

Ooooh, I need a bike

Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed n**... moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed n**... with a n**... guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down n**..., and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

Ryu wanted to confess to his lady-crush Chun Li....

So he baked some white fudge treacle tarts and put them down on a table. Ken walked up and was like, "ooh, these tarts smell delicious" and he started to pick one up, when Ryu grabbed the whole plate and did a jumping-spinning kick at Ken while yelling "THESE TARTS AREN'T FOR YOU KEN!"

When SilentΓ³ grows old, what will he be saying a lot to his senior assistant?

Ooh wash me, wash me
Ooh wash me, wash me

It's a Jewish man's 95th birthday

His friends decided last minute they would get him a stripper. The only person available was about 70 years old.

At his party, the stripper, tassels at her knees, was giving the old man a lap dance when she said,

"Ooh baby. I'm gonna give you some supa s**... tonight!" To which he replied,

"I'll have the soup"

I've got a business

Ooh what's your business?

We do facelifts.

And how's that going for you?

Well, we're raising a few eyebrows...

(You get the format, now hit me with your best!)

Two monkeys are in a bath.

Two monkeys are in a bath, the first monkey turns to the other and screams "Ooh ooh aaah aaah".

The second monkey looks back and replies "You can put some cold in, if you like".

What is Camila Cabello's favorite fruit?

Banana, ooh na-na (ay)

Me: A High Schooler finishing his last year decides to stretch. While stretching, my back cracks..

Mom: "Ooh, you're getting old!"

Me: "I know. I'm a senior."

Ya know you're from Tacoma when...

Your niece sees velvet ropes and says "Ooh , that's some really nice police tape"!

"Hey Joe, I heard your mother-in-law died!"

"Well yes, that's true, Bob."

"What'd she have?"

"Just a small amount of money and a lot of old books"

"No, I mean, what was wrong?"

"Well, she hadn't written her will and testament yet."

"Not that! I mean, how'd she die?

"Ooh... Well, we were having dinner at her place, she went to the basement to get some potatoes, she fell down, and she broke her neck."

"Ouch. And what did you do when that happened?"

"We got pizzas."

What did Yoda say, when someone handed him the paper, that finalised their college education?

Ooh, a master's thesis!

What to say during s**...

* ooh

* ee

* ooh ahh ahh

* ting

* tang

* walla walla bing bang

What did the gay vampire say when he saw his male victim n**...?


Last chrrrriii...

Ah, aha
Ooh, ohh

Last hanukkah i gave you my torah
And the very next day u sold it away

What is a yodeler's favourite kitchen utensil?


What is a Jawa's favorite fruit?

Ooh ooh zucchini.

quazimodo comes home to find his Mrs with the wok out.

"ooh Chinese for tea is it love?" He asked.

"No, I'm ironing one of your shirts" She replied.

Eomer gets off of his horse and says, "What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?"

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

Ooh daddy all up in there...

Priest: It's "Our father who art in Heaven"

Two monkeys are in a bath...

...the first one goes, ooh ooh ooh ah ah and the other one says, well turn the cold tap on then.

They say sodium a lot in Havana.

Havana ooh sodium sodium

Have you heard of the rare oomigoolie bird?

Shortly after it learns to fly, it sheds its legs.

This means that every time it lands you hear the distinctive call of "Ooh me goolies!"

Havarti ooh na na.

I really like to eat havarti ooh na na. It tends to make me really f**... ooh na na. I'd be the life of every party, until I ate havarti, havarti ooh na na.

After rumors of his death, Eddie Vedder takes to social media...

The Pearl Jam front man assures fans that, "Ooh h**... I-hi, Iiiii, I'm still alive."

What did the Mexican lab technician say when he tested his son's u**... for drugs.

Ooh, NoDoz traced.

What did the Mexican lab technician say when he read the blood tests of a patient who's been showing no improvement?

Ooh, no dose trace.

Did you ever wonder what the Para in ParaOlympic stood for?

Ooh, "Stood" for is probably not the best word to use there.

On the bright side, no one in a wheelchair has ever walked out when I told that joke.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the ooh yup puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working ooh huh piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes