Only In Jamaica Jokes
107 only in jamaica jokes and hilarious only in jamaica puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about only in jamaica that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Only In Jamaica Short Jokes
Short only in jamaica jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The only in jamaica humour may include short only in britain jokes also.
- In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50. These are the pie rates of the caribbean.
- 1 slice of apple pie will cost you $2.45 in Jamaica. A slice of apple pie costs $3.75 in Trinidad and the same slice costs $4.45 in Barbados. And those are the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.
- Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in cuba for $1.50 and in jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00? Those are the pie rates of the carribean.
- A slice of pie is $2.50 in the Bahamas. A slice of pie is $ 3.00 in Jamaica.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean. - A chicken pie in Jamaica costs €2.00 A chicken pie in Trinidad costs €2.15 A chicken pie in St Kitts costs €2.40 These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
- It's $2.50 for a pie in Jamaica, and $2.00 for a pie in the Bahamas.... The pie rates of the Caribbean.
- An apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica. The same apple pie costs $3.00 in the Dominican Republic.
These are the pie rates of the Carribean. - A slice of apple pie is £2 in Jamaica, a slice of apple pie is £2.40 in the Bahamas and a slice of apple pie is £1.70 in Barbados. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
- A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
- Football game between Jamaica and Ethiopia. Final result? Half the grass eaten, half the grass smoked.
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Only In Jamaica One Liners
Which only in jamaica one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with only in jamaica? I can suggest the ones about jamaican accent and only in canada.
- Have you heard about the shampoo crisis in jamaica? It's dreadful
- If my friends and I torrent in Jamaica Does that make us Pirates of the Caribbean?
- How do Jamaica? I don't know, Alaska
- What do they call a list of athletes in Jamaica? A rasta.
- What do you call glass cookware from Jamaica? Pyrex of the Caribbean
- In Jamaica, how do you know if a mango is ripe? Pokémon Go!
- How can you tell if a car is from Jamaica? Check the reggaestration..
- Ever hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It was dreadful.
- How do you wake up a charizard in Jamaica? You Poke-em, Mon!
- How do you know a car is from Jamaica? .... It's on the reggaestration.
- "It's too cold in Jamaica, I won't have any fun." "Not with that latitude!"
- Why should you never mess with birds for Jamaica? Because the chickens are all jerks.
- What is Jamaica's favorite male bird? The mongoose.
- What do you call Gumby's sidekick in Jamaica? Pokemon
- What do you get when you fall asleep in Jamaica on a sunny afternoon? A Red Stripe.
Howlingly Hilarious Only In Jamaica Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about only in jamaica you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean only in america jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make only in jamaica pranks.
There's this blonde.
She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat.
The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets.
She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde; "ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class.
please move to the back of the plane"
The blonde replies "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job.
I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica"
So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde's response, goes to another flight attendant and tells him what happened.
so he goes up to her and asks her to move to the back of the plane.
She then responds "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job.
I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica".
So the two flight attendants are steaming mad and they go to the co-pilot and tells him what is going on.
He comes back to where the blonde is sitting and leans over and whispers something in her ear.
The two flight attendants were astonished when the blonde abruptly got up from her seat and moved to the back of the plane.
They looked at each other and then the co-pilot and asked him what he told her.
The co-pilot, feeling good about himself told them "oh, this happened a while back with someone else.
I just simply told the woman that the front half of the plane wasn't going to Jamaica".
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
The sales chief, the HR chief, and the boss are on their way to lunch around the corner.
They detour through an alley and stumble on a beat up but valuable looking brass container.
The sales chief picks it up and starts cleaning it with his handkerchief.
Suddenly, a genie emerges out of a curtain of purple smoke.
The genie is grateful to be set free and offers them each a wish.
The HR chief is wide-eyed and ecstatic.
She says, "I want to be living on a beautiful beach in Jamaica with a sailboat and enough money to make me happy for the rest of my life."
p**...! She disappears.
The sales chief says, "Wow! I want to be happily married to a wealthy supermodel with penthouses in New York, Paris, and Hong Kong."
Presto, he vanishes.
"And how about you?" asks the Genie, looking at the boss.
The boss scowls and says, "I want both those idiots back in the office by 2 PM."
Moral: Always let your boss speak first.
What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:
These two:
"My wife went to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."
"My wife went to the East Indies"
"Jakarta?"
"No, she went by plane."
Magic sandals
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at s**....'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the s**... God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a s**... freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
The Bride of Frankenstein
Dr. Frankenstein: I took the Bride Of Frankenstein to the Caribbean last month.
Igor: Jamaica?
Dr. Frankenstein: Yes.
Why is unemployment rising in Jamaica?
Because they're jahbless!
What do you call a Somali person in Jamaica?
Pirate of the Carribean.
Vacation in Jamaica
Lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black
man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, 'What
is your name?'
'I can't tell you,' the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his
name is, and he always responds the same, he can't tell her. On her
last night there she asks again 'Can you please tell me your name?'
'I can't tell you my name because you will laugh at me.' says the black man.
'There is no reason for me to laugh at you,' the lady says.
'Fine, my name is Snow!' the black man replies. And the lady bursts
into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says, ' I knew you
would make fun of it'.
The lady replied, 'I'm not making fun of your name. I'm thinking of
my husband who won't believe me when I tell him that I enjoyed 10 inches
of Snow every day in Jamaica.💃🗻🍆
Jamaican Nudest Tattoo
A white guy takes a vacation at a Jamaican nudest resort. He sits at the bar next to a local. The Jamaican notices the white guy has the letters "WY" tattooed on his junk. He asks, "What does that mean." The white guy responds, "My wife's name is Wendy so when I get hard it spells it out." The white guy then notices his new friend has the same thing tattooed on his junk. The white guy asks, "Oh is your wife named Wendy too?" The Jamaican laughs and says, "No man, when I get hard it say 'Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day'!"
What do you call a politically powerful shrub in Jamaica?
A hegemon.
What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica?
"X marks the p**..., matey."
What do fish in Jamaica smoke ?
Sea-w**....
I'll show myself the door.
A Jamaican man's wife dies in Jerusalem
A Jamaican man and his nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The f**... company told the man that it could cost $500, 000 to ship her home to Jamaica or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said, "ship her home" shocked, the undertaker asked, but sir why don't you bury her in holy land and save the money? To which the husband replied. A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead.......I can't take that chance.
Portia To Legalize Gay Marriage In Jamaica
Told my friends I was taking my wife to the Caribbean for our honeymoon
One of them said "Jamaica?"
I said "No, she wanted to go"
Jamaica is demanding compensation from the UK for our involvement in the s**... trade!
Shocking, we already paid for them once!
If Bob Marley is from Jamaica, then why does he have a song about being German and how he wants to be German with you?
Why are there more bags of white sugar than brown in Jamaica?
Because demerara.
What's Jamaica's greatest superhero?
Dreadpool
What is Jamaica's favorite TV series?
The Walking Dread
What so you call a Pokémon that's in a reggae band?
Jamaica mon!
I like your thinking... [LONG]
Little Jim was in class, learning about the Caribbean. The teacher asks Jim, "What is the capital of Jamaica, to which Jim replied "There isn't a capital because all of the Caribbean is territories" his teacher corrected him saying "Jim, Jamaica is actually a country and the answer is Kingston, but I like your thinking." Jim was satisfied with this answer but proceeded to reply "Ok Miss, let me quiz you, I have my hand in my pocket feeling something hard with a head - what is it?" Jim's teacher was disgusted with him and began scolding him when Jim said with a smirk on his face "The answer is a quarter, but I like your thinking"
Pokemon
The new "s**... tips" guide from Jamaica.
What do you get when you ask for a sizzling beer can in Jamaica?
A hot red stripe.
I told my mate I was taking my wife to the Caribbean for a holiday. 'Jamaica?' He replied.
No, she's coming of her own accord.
Canada has the Canadian goose, what does Jamaica have?
The mongoose.
Man enters pub
Sees his friend and mentions to him, missus's away in the Caribbean
Friend asks; Jamaica?
Man replies; no, she went of her own accord
What's the end result of a soccer game between Jamaica and Ethiopia?
Half the grass is smoked and the other half is eaten.
Pie rates of the Caribbean joke
In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
Have you heard about how much meat pastries cost in Antigua, Barbados, Colombia, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, Aruba, Trinidad and Tobago, The Bahamas, Turks and Caicos Islands?
You should have done, they are the pie rates of the Caribbean
Dad joke inc
Did you know that in Trinidad and Tobago is costs £2.50 for a pie and in Jamaica it costs £3?
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
In Jamaica it costs £3 for a steak pie, in Trinidad it's £2.50
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What is a computer screen in Jamaica called?
A MON-itor
What do you say when your happy in Jamaica
You're Jamaican me happy
What's the difference between a wind chime from Germany and a wind chime from Jamaica?
Not a ting
Did you hear about the rat in Jamaica who went around stealing desserts wherever he went?
He was a pie-rat of the Carribean
Me an the wife are retiring to The Caribbean...
Jamaica?
I'll have to now, after today's news.
There was a football match between colombia and Jamaica in 1967
It didn't go well, the Colombians sniffed all the white lines and Jamaicans smoked all the grass.
How many H are there in Jamaica?
Noone, because there never is H in Jam-aica!
I just saw the pierates of the Caribbean for the first time.
Apple pie in Jamaica $2.55
Cherry pie in Antigua $4.57
Key Lime Pie in Dominican Republic $3.87
What do you call people who download movies in Jamaica?
Pirates of the Caribbean.
If you are gay in Jamaica you are a:
Pokemon
Me: my wife and I have decided to spend some time apart and she's gone on holiday to the Carribean to collect her thoughts.
Friend: Oh, Jamaica?
Me: no it was her decision actually
Dad: Your mother is going to the West Indies soon.
Son: Where? Jamaica?
Dad: No, she wanted to go.
In Trinidad and Tobago a steak pie will cost you $3.25
In Jamaica a steak pie will cost you $3.50
In Barbuda a steak pie will cost you $1.75
And these are the pie rates of the carribean
Which country makes alot of jam?
Jamaica
Apple pie costs 2$ in Cuba
Pumpkin pie costs 3$ in Jamaica
Banana pie costs 2.5$ in Puerto Rico
These are the PieRates of the Caribbean
I say, my wife's gone to the Caribbean!
*The Caribbean you say?*
Yes, that's right, the Caribbean.
*Jamaica?*
No - she went of her own free will!
BADUM - TSSSHHH!
Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?
Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50
Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.
I've always wondered about the price of pies around the world
In the Bahamas they're $9 a pie.
In Jamaica they're $8 a pie.
In Cuba they're $7 a pie.
And those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
I'm from Jamaica and if I got a dollar every time someone asked me if I smoked w**....
I'd have enough to buy a $50 bag every time I run out.
Two cockney men were talking...
The first one says "So my wife sailed to the West Indies last year". The other one asks "Jamaica?". The first man answers "No, she went on her own accord".
my friend and i were talking about a recent holiday i'd been on
me: i took my girlfriend to a caribbean island last month
friend: jamaica?
me: no, she volunteered
Kamala Harris jamaican w**... joke
Reporter: Have you ever smoked w**... ?
Kamala Harris: Half my family's from Jamaica - are you kidding me?
Kamala Harris: I did inhale it !
Pirates of the Caribbean joke
A pie in Jamaica is usually 3 dollars. While a pie in the Bahamas is usually 4 dollars.
I know because I have always been a fan of the pie rates of the Caribbean.
I was talking to a friend the other day.
I told him that my wife had gone on holiday in the Caribbean.
'Jamaica?', he asked.
'Nah', I said, 'It was her choice'.
Pricey Pies
Did you know a pork pie in Aruba costs $1.50? A cheese and spinach pie will cost you $2.60 in Barbados. An apple pie is only $1.30 in Jamaica whereas a pecan pie will set you back $3.50 in Grenada.
And those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
