Onion Day Jokes
16 onion day jokes and hilarious onion day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about onion day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Onion Day Short Jokes
Short onion day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The onion day humour may include short onion jokes also.
- I Walked In On My Dad Chopping Onions Up One Day... It made me cry. Onions was my favorite dog.
- So I talkedto a gender studies graduate the other day. I told her I wanted a #1 combo with no tomatos or onions.
- When I was a kid, one day I walked in to the kitchen and saw my dad chopping onions and I started crying. Onions was a good dog.
- A customer asks the waiter what the soup of the day is The waiter replies, sage and onion.
So then the customer says genonion - Natural Deodarant Comes in Only Two Scents Red Onion and White Onion
(Somebody told me this one the other day) - Why did the blonde chef think she was depressed? Because she cried every day when chopping onions.
- What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion? You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone.
Happy Saxophone Day
Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me.
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Onion Day One Liners
Which onion day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with onion day? I can suggest the ones about onion cry and onion rings.
- An apple a day keeps the doctors away... an onion a day keeps everyone away.
Onion Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about onion day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cutting onion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make onion day pranks.
In the onion kingdom, the red onions ruled over all other onions. The red onion King was a well respected ruler. However, one fateful day, the spring onions rebelled.
As the red onion King was thrown from his dais, he turned to the leader of the rebellion. "You'll never truly be King! You're nothing but a shallot-on!"
The owner of my local health food store asked me if I wanted to know the secret of a long and healthy life.
"Sure -- let me know!", I replied.
He said, "Eat two raw onions every day."
"How could that possibly be a secret?"
Types of salaries
* The onion salary - the moment you touch it, you start crying
* The d**... salary - it doesn't help you at all, it makes you suffer, but you can't live without it
* The agnostic salary - you doubt its existence
* The magic salary - now you see it, now you don't
* The period salary - comes once a month and lasts for 4 days
* The impotent salary - when you need it the most, it lets you down
2 onions fall in love and mate, they give birth to a beautiful son!
One day, they leave the front door open on accident and the young onion rolls out into the world.
While crossing the street, the poor onion child gets flattened in the road...
He is then rushed to the hospital, the father rolling around in the hall, extremely anxious to hear any news.
Finally after a long and grueling surgery, the doctor comes out, removed his mask, wipes the sweat from his brow and calls the father over.
Well, tell me what will happen with my baby boy! Will he live? The father begs
Well calm down, he will live , the doctor says,
He will unfortunately be a vegetable for his entire life though.
A short collection of jokes....
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: homework!!!
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder..
Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off.
Boy:say me
Girl:me
Boy: you forgot the d
Girl: there's no d in me
Boy: not yet there isnt :)
One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance... so i pushed her over
Failed my biology test today:
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently "black people" wasnt the correct answer
Enjoy and post some funny ones i can havea laugh at...
Two onions, male and female, knock into each other on the street...
...An affair begins. Onion romance has occurred.
They tie the knot; several months later they have a baby onion.
Father onion takes another shift to make ends meet.
Mother onion is encumbered with house work one day, much distracted.
Baby onion wanders out the open door unsupervised. It crosses the sidewalk and is hit by a car.
At the hospital mother and father onion pace up and down the hospital corridor, crying.
A team of surgeons try all night to save baby onion's life.
Towards dawn the doors to the hospital room open. A doctor walks out, sweating.
Father onion asks "well, what, how is baby onion?"
The surgeon says "well he'll live, but I'm afraid he'll be a vegetable for the rest of his life."
Three Old Ladies
Three elderly women were sitting side by side in their retirement home, reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping for groceries in the old days, and demonstrated with her hands the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper, too, and she demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."
