Oneliners Jokes
59 oneliners jokes and hilarious oneliners puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about oneliners that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Oneliners Short Jokes
Short oneliners jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The oneliners humour may include short jokes also.
- It's the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in christmas cracker, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets. The real joke is in the comets
- Please drop your best one-liner dad jokes below, I need new ones. By one-liner I mean something along the lines of let's make like an Autobot and roll out or put an egg in your shoe and beat it
- They say one-liners are the lowest form of comedy That's why I only tell my jokes to midgets
- I wrote this funny oneliner on a post-it and placed it on my best friend's back. I started laughing, but he didn't get it. Thats when I told him: 'The joke is on you, buddy!'
- So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."
- Are one-liners accepted? I immediately stopped telling people I was xenophobic when I realized it doesn't mean "afraid of xenomorphs".
- Just came up with a one-liner after hearing an ad on the radio Conflict-free wedding ring is an oxymoron.
- A one-liner walks into a bar.
- How do you call a self-restrained coke addict? A one-liner
- Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?
Share These Oneliners Jokes With Friends
Oneliners One Liners
Which oneliners one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with oneliners? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Why does Stephen hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up
- Monorails make decent one-liners
- y'all ever heard any monorail jokes? i hear they make good one-liners.
- Post your best One-Liner. You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
- Why does Steven Hawking only speak in one-liners? He can't do stand-up.
- A one-liner comedian and a geneticist were planning a family using a pun-net square
- Airline oneliners not enough seating, prepare for a beating
- I've been up all night doing one-liners... It's giving me a nosebleed.
- Any joke is a one-liner if your page is wide enough.
- What's dad's best one-liner? "My wife."
- The trouble with one-liners is that most people's attention spans are too short.
- What are your thoughts on monorails? They make decent one-liners.
- An 80 year old couple have been married for 54 years. It's a one-liner.
- Epicurean One-Liner The death row inmate eats burgers and fries.
- Did you guys hear the one-liner about the Monorail?
Oneliners Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about oneliners you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make oneliners pranks.
Shortest One-Liner ever
Dwarf shortage
Just a one-liner...
Boss: "What are you working on?"
Me: "Two hours sleep."
I know a h**... downtown that charges by the inch.
I can't afford her, but you probably could.
What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?
Putout
Terrible one-liner I came up with while on autopilot at work.
I'm not saying I'm a s**... guru, but I know most of the ins and outs
Dumb one-liner of the day: I imagine veterinarians who treat ducks put up with a lot of undeserved grief.
There's two things I hate about one-liner comedy...
For one, I can't finish this joke
Epicurean One-Liner
The epileptic eats burgers and shakes.
Imagine it, you're in an action movie, about to kick down a door and burst into the room killing all the baddies and your witty one-liner is...
Oops wrong theater.
Clever one-liner
I'd rather die than drink water.
A shower is a u**... that flushes on top of your head.
Yeah, it's just a one-liner.
Double Standards [One-Liner]
Sure if a girl wants to be choked it's hot and k**..., but if I want to choke a girl, it's all of a sudden "domestic a**..."
My girlfriend just dumped me. She said I had s**... like an avenger.
She really did not appreciate me interrupting the action with funny one-liners
When Drake gets c**..., he calls me so I can hit him with a one-liner insult to keep him humble...
I'm his Hotline Zing!
I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.
I'm on a roll.
Please look at my previous post to see a list of my
jokes. Please give me feedback Thanks!
I'm trying to bring puns and one-liners into the U.S.A.
The Clintons at President Reagan's f**...
I don't know if any of you watched the memorial service for Ronald Reagan, but if you did, you might've noticed Bill and Hillary were both dozing off.
Reagan, who never missed the opportunity for a good one-liner, raised his head out of the casket and said I see the Clintons are finally sleeping together
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." —Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngman was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". 1906 - 1988
I rarely find c**... jokes funny.
But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.
RIP Barry Cryer - a true comedy great
From his obituary:
> Cryer, the master of the comedy sketch and the instant one-liner, was once asked by the Yorkshire Post for his favourite joke. He recalled one he had told in a student r**... in 1955.
>"A man drives down a country lane and runs over a cockerel. He knocks at a nearby farmhouse door and a woman answers.
>"'I appear to have killed your cockerel,' he says. 'I'd like to replace it.' The woman replies: 'Please yourself - the hens are round the back.'"
I saw this one reposted here earlier this week..