Onelegged Jokes
27 onelegged jokes and hilarious onelegged puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about onelegged that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Onelegged Short Jokes
Short onelegged jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The onelegged humour may include short seat jokes also.
- A one-legged man goes to a beer bar Bartender asks "What'll you have?"
He replies "Something hoppy" - Do you like jokes that make you think a little? If you had an one-legged horse, what would you name it?
Flattery. - I'm fine with IHOP changing their name to IHOB I just feel bad for all the one-legged waitresses who lost their jobs.
- A one-legged man walks into a tech-support store... ...and tells the man "I can't get past this 2-step authentication!"
- My 8-year-old's newest joke: What did the one-legged man with OCD say when he opened the closet? Hi, jean!
- In 1955 Rosa Parks refuses to give up her bus seat to a white person. The one-legged pregnant woman was forced to sit in the isle.
- If a one-legged woman is named Ilene, what do you call her after a few drinks? Tipsy, and an easy lay.
- The one-legged man couldn't understand an online tutorial. It had step-by-step instructions.
- Did you hear the one about the one-legged mathematician? He's only ever been dumped once in his life
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Onelegged One Liners
Which onelegged one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with onelegged? I can suggest the ones about met and bus.
- I met a one-legged waitress at IHOP... Her name was Ilene.
- What do you say to a one-legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
- I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.
- What do you call a one-legged woman wearing Levi's? Jean.
- What did the horse say to the one-legged jockey? How're ye gettin' on?
- Sad news. The end of a one-legged man I know is afoot.
- What do you call a one-legged lady? Eileen.
Comical Onelegged Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about onelegged you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fox jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make onelegged pranks.
A couple passed a one-legged hitch-hiker on the highway.
A couple passed a one-legged hitch-hiker on the highway.
The wife suggested they should give him a ride.
Her husband said, "Nope, I tried to give him a ride just the other day. He just screamed and cursed at me."
"I wonder why," she said.
"Don't know," he answered," All I said to him was 'hop in.'"
Spercomputer was asked to find an alternative to Clinton and Trump to save presidential election.
The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia.
When he was asked: "How could you be a better alternative? You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump?", he answered:
"Well, maybe because I'm honest about it"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My stand-up routine about one-legged men trying to drink each other's warm v**... was never successful
Too many lame gags
An angel walks into a bar
He walks up to a blind patron and heals him. The formerly blind man stands up shouting "I can see! It's a miracle!"
The angel smiles and walks up to a crippled man and restores his legs. The man does a dance of joy and hugs the angel, who tells him to go in peace.
The angel then walks among some government workers celebrating after work. One of them, a one-legged man with severe diabetes, lupus, and one eye looks at the approaching angel and says "don't touch me - I'm on disability"
