One Word Jokes
126 one word jokes and hilarious one word puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about one word that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest One Word Short Jokes
Short one word jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The one word humour may include short two word jokes also.
- Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words? Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
- Edgar Allen Poe is about to walk into a tree and you only have enough time to say one word before he hits it. What should you say to him? Poetry!
- What one word really makes a woman open up and want to talk about everything on their mind? "goodnight."
- My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
- Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"
- In the english words, only in Sugar the S sounds like 'Sh'. But I am not Sure about that one.
- I'll never forget my Grandfather's last words to me... "no the top one is your iphone charger, the bottom one is my life support." or something like that.
- I knew she was the one for me, and after 6 months of pursuing her, last night she said those three little words. That's him, officer!
- Latvian Joke Bus full of priests come to Latvia, spread word of God. One priest ask Latvian man "Where is children?" Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.
- I was trying to remember... The word "candle" , so I asked my daughter (23), "You know, one of those things you blow and make a wish?"
She said, "Breathalyzer'"
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One Word One Liners
Which one word one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with one word? I can suggest the ones about one phrase and three word.
- Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence
- Why is Communism one of the most ironic words? It's Capitalized
- 'Describe yourself with one word', my employer asked. 'Bad with numbers'
- Some one has stolen my thesaurus. I can't find the words to describe how angry i am.
- If I had to describe myself in one word... ...it would be "bad at following directions."
- One exotic bird can't take over the word on its own But toucan
- I can only think of one word with three U's in it. That's unusual. Really.
- As 2022 is coming to a close, let me sum it up for you all in one word. Six.
- I can sum up 2016 in one word... Nine.
- If I had to describe myself in one word... It would be, "Unable to follow instructions."
- This one time, people completely overused a word and ruined it forever. It was epic.
- There's only one 5-letter word stopping me from being smarter. Stupidity
- I can describe my girlfriend and 9/11 in one word bush
- I don't like the word "steal". I prefer "buy none get one free".
- Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Humorous One Word Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about one word you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean one sentence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make one word pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man, on a first date: How do you feel about s**...? Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is b**... one word...
or should I spread them apart?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A World War 2 joke
Stalin and h**... died and were recieved in h**... by Satan.
Satan asked them to wait in the guest cabin, because he had to search for the worst place in h**... for both of them (it had been a long time since some one so evil had come to his abode) .
While waiting, h**... got bored and asked Stalin to tell him a joke.
Stalin said one word, "Moscow."
h**..., after a long and hard thought, replied, "I don't get it."
Stalin laughs merrily and says, "Exactly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An older couple is getting married...
An older couple is getting married. The husband-to-be looks at his bride and asks, "What's your opinion on s**...?"
The bride says, "I prefer it infrequently."
The man replies, "Is infrequently one word or two?"
Texas: The Miracle State
At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.
"Say, is this really a healthy place?"
"It sure is," the man replied.
"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?"
"I was born here."
Plane Ride
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."
Esther always replied, "I know, Morris, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
One year Morris and Esther went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."
Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was spoken. He did all his tricks over again but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "My, my, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
very old jokes, but I haven't seen them here before
A male bovine has unfortunately just swallowed a ticking time bomb. How would you describe this situation in one word?
Abominable.
Five minutes later the bomb has detonated leaving little beyond a small hole in the ground. What one word describes the new situation?
Noble.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A business man goes to Japan for a business meeting...
This man gets there late at night. He was feeling a little lonely, so he got a Japanese h**.... He has his way with the h**... and feels like he did a pretty good job, considering she was screaming out one word the entire time in Japanese. The next day, this man went golfing with the Japanese business men he was going to meet with. During their golf outing, he gets a hole in one! The Japanese men start screaming and celebrating in Japanese words. The man got very excited too and yelled out the only Japanese word he could think of, and that was the one he learned from his h**.... He yelled out this word, and all the Japanese business men look at him strangely. One of them comes up to the business man and asks "what you mean wrong hole?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you feel about s**...?
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
'How do you feel about s**...?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't understand women...
One word out of place, just ONE word, and she's packing her b**... bags.
She asked me why I take my wedding ring off before s**.... I just shrugged and said "Habit".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is p**... one word?
Or should I spread them apart?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
and oldie but a goodie
back in ancient china, before the populations number a million, a monk lived near his friend, who was on the other side of the river. he wrote a long poem, full of phrases like "the seven winds could not move me" and was very proud of it. he sent it to his friend via dove.
when his friend sent it back, he had written one word in the corner of the scroll "f**..." fuming, the monk stomped over to his friend's dwelling and demanded an explanation. to this his friend simply said "the seven winds could not move you, and yet a single f**... sends you all the way across the river"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The problem with Bill Clinton
Is that he never learned harass was one word.
Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop
Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each one being worked on by a different barber, not one word was spoken. When the barbers finished shaving, the barber that had Trump reached for the aftershave. Trump quickly stopped him saying: No thanks, Melania will smell that and think I've been in a brothel. The second barber turned to Biden and said, How about you, Mr. Biden? Joe replied, Go ahead, Jill doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
My interviewer asked me to describe myself in one word.
I replied vague
He asked, can you elaborate?
I said, yes.
One word difference
One word can change your day, your feelings, and life.
Example:
"This is your captain speaking"
"This isn't your captain speaking"
My daughter screeched, " Daaaaaad, have you listened to at least one word I've said !? "
what a strange way to start a conversation ...
Rearrange the letters: NOR DO WE to make one word.
Rearrange the letters: NOR DO WE to make one word.
I was looking up some baseball history,
*I mean, if you know - you know* ..
But the best way to describe the lineup of the 1935 New York Yankees in one word is, 'ruthless'.
WiFi password is Romeamsterdamparis all one word
Any capitals?
Yeah, three.
Jesus and the Devil have challenged each other to a typing battle on MS Word
It's a close battle and they're down to the last word, when boom! Power outage!
When the power outage is resolved, all of the Devil's progress was lost, but Jesus only had one word to type!
Moral of the story: Jesus saves, and so should you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Best short jokes?
I need a joke for a meeting we have tomorrow at work but I cant remember any good ones after following this tradition weekly for the last few months.
It must be short with just an opening line and a punchline like this:
**Can a ninja throw a star?**
**Shuriken**
The punchline doesnt have to be one word of course, but it cant be a long joke.
Can anybody remember any good ones?
Just one word
With the new school year, teachers hand out those "we'd like to know more about you" forms for the students to fill out. One of the questions was "Use one word to describe yourself". My son's answer:
"Can't follow directions"
The Beauty of English...
Ever Noticed How Deleting One Word After The Other In A Sentence Can Lead To A Story?
e.g
Oh John Please Don't Touch Me At All...
Oh John Please Don't Touch Me At...
Oh John Please Don't Touch Me...
Oh John Please Don't Touch...
Oh John Please Don't...
Oh John Please...
Oh John...
Ohhh...
...
Interviewer: What is the one word that defines you?
Me: Pronoun
If I would have to describe myself in one word:
"I can't count"
The judge said "You really want the jury to believe.....
that you committed this crime because a pack of black and white, wild animals threatened to kill you if you didn't?"
"Yes, your honour", I said............ "I was badgered into it."
Edit : changed one word.
I can describe you in one word
Curious
SECRET OF YOUR SUCCESS...
"Sir, What is the secret of your success?" a reporter
asked a bank president.
"Two words"
"And, Sir,what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"And how do you make right decisions?"
"One word."
"And,sir, What is that?"
"Experience."
"And how do you get Experience?"
"Two words"
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Wrong decisions"
I went for a job interview today...
"Describe yourself in one word."
"Indecisive, maybe. I'm not sure."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's only one thing I remember from s**... harassment training.
"Harass" is just one word.
A travelling salesman walks into a bar...
He's going over the menu when a local guy slides onto the stool next to him, and just says one word: Waterloo.
Guessing he's onto something of a local speciality, he asks for one himself. He takes a deep swig and pulls a face: This doesn't taste like anything at all!!! he exclaims.
The local guy asks the bartender: Well, what did he expect? It's a water, innit Lou?
Each comment thread is a joke, but each user may only post one word.
You may only comment one word, or reply with one word to another comment. Good luck!
There's only one word in the English language that begins with U and ends in E.
Unbelievable, right?!
Can some one help me write my girlfriend a love letter?
Is buttcheek one word or are they spread apart?
If I could describe all the horrible things that a lifetime of inhaling paint has done to me in one word, ...
... that word would be brain damage.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When guys claim to have had a t**..., the next question is usually, "How was it?"
In my case, that question is shortened to one word.
Are you a member of the One Word Sentence Association?
I'm.
How do you say "prison lingo" in one word?
Danish
One word explains Catholic Trinity.
A men
Towards...
Is only one word.
My teacher asked me to describe myself in one word
So I wrote, "not good at following directions."
If I described myself in one word, I'd say, "Potential"
I was too lazy to add the "Wasted".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Infrequently
There was an elderly couple considering living together, rather than getting married. The woman was concerned about sharing the same bed.
She asked her friend, "Well, what about s**...?"
The man replied, "Infrequently."
The woman thought for a moment, then asked, "Is that one word or two?"
How do you describe every gf in one word?
K
Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego...
Inflated.
After everything she's been through and survived, one word comes to mind when I think of Demi Lovato.
Heroine.
If I asked my wife to describe herself in one word,
... it wouldn't be "concise".
Because that isn't eleven words.
A toast for a hopeless romantics wedding
One word "Finally"
If you want to fool a Canadian into thinking you're also a Canadian, you only have to say one word. . .
Chur-on-no
Create a Story Using One Word!
Anyone can participate and IT HAS TO MAKE SENSE! Good luck! :)
At the State Fair....
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal.I'll take you both up for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word it's ten dollars! "
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over and over again, but still not a word. They tierra and the pilot turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but like Martha always said, ten dollars is ten dollars."
Only one word in the English Language starts with D and ends in Y
If you don't believe my check the dictionary
How would describe 'hidden talent ' in one word?
Latent.
How would you describe Alan Turing in one word?
Homogenous
What one word can you yell out loud that will make a room full of little old ladies swear?
Bingo!
Theres this one word I always stumble on when I try to remember it....
oh yeah, the word is forget.
Misspell one word and the whole text is urined.
You want to know why I am so good at spelling?
One word: Comitment.
GATHER ROUND! Lets tell a story one word at a time.
Lets tell a story one word at a time beginning with:
THE
Hopefully this turns into a joke post or the most captivating story ever.
Whats the word im looking for?
You're part of a three-man space crew orbiting Earth. You can ONLY relay one, one word message in 2 seconds. Whats the word?
The Trids and the Giant
Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for a giant that lived on the mountain. The giant would often terrorize the Trids.
The Trids, tired of the giant, sent a group led by the community's minister to reason with the giant. But before they could even say one word the giant kicked them down the mountain. The Trids thought maybe this was because the giant was Catholic, so they sent another group, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached, the giant once again kicked them all down the mountain.
The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the giant was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they asked a rabbi of a different community for help. The Rabbi led a group of Trids up the mountain. The giant saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, knowing the giant's past, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the giant. The giant laughed and replied
"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
If I had one word to describe the Senate race, I would say...
white
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In Russia, the difference between legal and i**... is one word.
You can't beat off your children.
Prison may be just one word
But to others, it's a whole sentence
I fell asleep after posting this and woke up seeing it on the front page, thanks guys!
Take Any Movie Quote And Replace One Word With the Word "Sausage"
I will describe 1D in one word and one word only !
Period.
Describe youtube in one word
Clickbait
One word review of the Saw Film series...
Sawful
