One Liner Jokes
123 one liner jokes and hilarious one liner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about one liner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest One Liner Short Jokes
Short one liner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The one liner humour may include short one lined jokes also.
- Here is the best one liner from the legend, Mitch Hedberg My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
- Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
- A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap. The psychiatrist says "Well, I can clearly see youre nuts"
- If you don't have friends, just tell a woman that you love her and she says that we're just friends.
- I broke up with my girlfriend by text last night, it went pretty ugly... She got up from the couch, started beating me with her phone...
- It's the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in christmas cracker, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets. The real joke is in the comets
- Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.
- My friend and I recently watched the Star Wars films back to back in preparation for The Last Jedi... unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the screen.
- One liners about professions ? Example, I would have been a doctor but I didn't have the patience. Or, trained as a chiropractor but I couldn't crack it.
Anyone got any more ? - Please drop your best one-liner dad jokes below, I need new ones. By one-liner I mean something along the lines of let's make like an Autobot and roll out or put an egg in your shoe and beat it
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One Liner One Liners
Which one liner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with one liner? I can suggest the ones about one line and single line.
- Why does Stephen hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up
- I recently sold my vaccum. It was just collecting dust.
- y = mx + c
- Let's face it... That's not the first time Germany has gone into Russia unprepared...
- Monorails make decent one-liners
- y'all ever heard any monorail jokes? i hear they make good one-liners.
- Using single ply toilet paper is the best way of getting in touch with your inner self.
- I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work, said the disgusting bartender.
- Scientists have discovered that diarrhea runs in the genes.
- A cannibal passed a priest in the woods.
- One liner What do epileptic vegetarians eat?
-Seizure Salads - Post your best One-Liner. You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
- Who just can't get enough of one liners? Coke addicts.
- We need less long jokes and more one liners in this sub _
- You have a striking face.....how many times has it been struck?
Comical & Quirky One Liner Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about one liner you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean one sentence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make one liner pranks.
Why are all jokes about women one-liners?
So men can understand them.
That one liner 'i'm not drinking too much tonight' never goes as planned...
Stephen Hawking has a great sense of humor. He does One-liners, but not a Stand-up comedy.
I was going to get a tattoo of a cross on my t**...,
but I thought it would be too sacrilegious.
Have you ever seen an Asian person with Down Syndrome?
But then again, how could you tell?
I recently bought a superconducting electric heater...
I was not impressed!
I popped off my g-string while f**... a minor.
Hey, why don't you go slip into something a little more comfortable.....like a coma!!!!!
One liner....
A recent survey shows that s**... banks beat blood banks in contributions...HANDS DOWN!
Cruel One Liner
Yesterday my uncle slipped into a coma; b**... living the dream!
Chemistry One Liner
I'd love to tell you a chemistry joke, but I heard they were argon.
As seen on a bridge at my local university.
Dirty f**... one liner
The hardest part of being into double p**..., is that you have to get two people into it.
I need help thinking of a joke involving supernatural creatures
It needs to be a one or two liner, no knock knock jokes or riddles.
Context: I'm working at a summer camp and my call sign is Ghost. Tomorrow morning at the assembly, I'm going up and giving some world news (spoofs, not actual news). I want to say "hey guys, I'm Ghost with all your *other*worldly news", but I'm having trouble thinking of what to say after that. Any ideas would be great.
(meta) About the direction this sub is going
Every top post I see from this sub now is a basic one liner, and half of them aren't even that good. While I appreciate a good simple joke as much as the next person, there needs to be a good mixture that include actual story jokes with a true set up and punchline.
Submit your best! (Puns)
What are your best one or two liner PUNS?
Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.
I've been up all night doing one-liners...
It's giving me a nosebleed.
An 80 year old couple have been married for 54 years.
It's a one-liner.
What's dad's best one-liner?
"My wife."
One liner
So two law students walk into a bar
Are one-liners accepted?
I immediately stopped telling people I was xenophobic when I realized it doesn't mean "afraid of xenomorphs".
Terrible one-liner I came up with while on autopilot at work.
I'm not saying I'm a s**... guru, but I know most of the ins and outs
Dumb one-liner of the day: I imagine veterinarians who treat ducks put up with a lot of undeserved grief.
What are your thoughts on monorails?
They make decent one-liners.
A one-liner walks into a bar.
I'm going to a medieval wedding and I need some one liners.
Did you guys hear the one-liner about the Monorail?
How does a one liner hurt its readers?
With its punchline
There's two things I hate about one-liner comedy...
For one, I can't finish this joke
What's a pirates favorite letter?
You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!'
Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes
Funny one liner
if the purpose of technology is to make our lives easier, then i need a "voice-based-auto-adjustable-underwear".
I knew a t**... guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
What unlikely hero from middle earth can deliver terrible one liners?
Steven Smeagol
One liners
I'm at a VFW and I want dirty raunchy one liners to tell, racism allowed
I can really see myself working in a mirror factory
I was going to run out of the way from the tornado
But then I realized it was turning.
A bastardized one liner from /u/SkidMark_wahlberg comment.
Grow it out for the summer
Nice one liner I thought of today-
What do you think? Should I grow my wrists out for the summer? Or cut them now?
There's a small and weak man
Who loves telling jokes, they're mainly one liners... because he's puny
Epicurean One-Liner
The death row inmate eats burgers and fries.
My favourite jokes are one liners about launderettes
What can I say, I love dry clean humour.
A one-liner comedian and a geneticist were planning a family
using a pun-net square
Any joke can be a one liner
^^^^^^^if ^^^^^^^you ^^^^^^^write ^^^^^^^small ^^^^^^^enough.
One Liner: With everything that Hillary Clinton says, at least we know she's not Aes Sedai.
Because she lies.
Imagine it, you're in an action movie, about to kick down a door and burst into the room killing all the baddies and your witty one-liner is...
Oops wrong theater.
Clever one-liner
I'd rather die than drink water.
Wanna hear a good one liner?
1 Dimension
One liner
I'm an immigrant, you're an immigrant. we should be friends with benefits.
What's the best one liner you've heard?
Had this dropped on me at work today.
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Double Standards [One-Liner]
Sure if a girl wants to be choked it's hot and k**..., but if I want to choke a girl, it's all of a sudden "domestic a**..."
Why does Steven Hawking only speak in one-liners?
He can't do stand-up.
My girlfriend just dumped me. She said I had s**... like an avenger.
She really did not appreciate me interrupting the action with funny one-liners
Math one liner
All prime numbers are odd except one.
They say one-liners are the lowest form of comedy
That's why I only tell my jokes to midgets
Just came up with a one-liner after hearing an ad on the radio
Conflict-free wedding ring is an oxymoron.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners
He can't do standup comedy!
A comedian and his friend are having a Tetris battle.
But the comedian lost because he only had one liners.
A man is on a fancy cruise ship...
And he says, I really like this one liner!
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?
I came up with the best clickbait one liner
See
When Drake gets c**..., he calls me so I can hit him with a one-liner insult to keep him humble...
I'm his Hotline Zing!
I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.
I'm on a roll.
Please look at my previous post to see a list of my
jokes. Please give me feedback Thanks!
I'm trying to bring puns and one-liners into the U.S.A.
So... Heard you like cheesy one liners?...
Well you're always going to have a Gouda time with me! 😉😜
#instapuss #yourwelcom
How do you call a self-restrained coke addict?
A one-liner
Do you all have time for a the joke about the world's fastest cruise ship?
Don't worry, it's a quick one liner.
[Joke Request] jokes about being first.
I'm sorry if this is against the rules but I'm first to speak at a speech I have to give and I was looking for a one liner I could introduce myself with. It should be something related to being first because my name is Alex and it's in alphabetical order.
