Once You Go Asian Jokes
58 once you go asian jokes and hilarious once you go asian puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about once you go asian that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Once You Go Asian Short Jokes
Short once you go asian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The once you go asian humour may include short once you go white jokes also.
- Why did the Asian pilot get arrested at the airport? TSA thought he said he was going to "pirate" the plane.
- A Chess Shop A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece.
The manager says, "Oh sure. Take a rook." - Why during her implantation die the young girl does Asian? When being possible, "to go because of A, why go because of B, because her parents said"!
- What's Black, White, and Asian all at the same time? Pandas. What did you think I was going to say?
- If you're Asian going into a bathroom, and African when you leave a bathroom, what are you in the bathroom? European
- Turns out being a conspiracy theorist and having Asian friends don't go so well together. You can only shout "OPEN YOUR EYES!" so many times before someone gets offended.
- Someone once told me that Asians must have a hard time seeing where they're going. That's just blind racism.
- Happy 4th of July. If there is one thing we have to show for after all these years... Going from revolting against white kings and queens to revolting against a female Asian CEO....progress.
- My asian girlfriend refuses to go all the way with me... She's a real life Chinese finger trap
- What time does an Asian go to the dentist? Toof Hurty.
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Once You Go Asian One Liners
Which once you go asian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with once you go asian? I can suggest the ones about once you go ginger and mean asian.
- Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by? Everywhere.
- I had a racist Asian joke to share... But this day and age, society just won't reddit go.
- How often did the asian cow go to the gym? Dairy
- Where does asian food go to fight to the death? The Ramen Colosseum.
- When asian people go on a merry go round... do they become disoriented?
- Once you go Asian... ...you never get reoriented.
- My Asian friend said boring is boring. So I knew he didn't want to go bowling.
- An Asian man is walking a dog. He must've gotten his order to go.
- Why dont Asians go to the theaters? Because they always see widescreen!
- If you're going to make a racist joke, it better be good. So don't make it about Asians
- Why don't Asian people go pirating ships? Becase they pirate pranes
- what do you say to asian who's losing the race xiang go
- How did an Asian city-state go about executing a large gorilla? They hung Kong
- Where do Asians go when they're frustrated with Trigonometry? Angle management of course.
- Why are asians bad at football? They are always going the Wong way.
Witty Once You Go Asian Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about once you go asian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad asian jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make once you go asian pranks.
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me, is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'
He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.'
Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'
I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
One day a black white and Asian got arrested but the cop said if u can say green pink and yellow in a sentence, then u won't go to jail.
The black didn't know what to say so he went to jail.
The white said "well white guys are pink....." but the cop said wrong order so he went to jail.
So the Asian guy said "well the phone go Green green so i pink up the phone and say yellow"
Name Jokes
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and sits in front of a door? Mat
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and swims? Bob
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and sits in a big steel p**...? Stu
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and has a shovel in his head? Doug
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and sits in a can of paint? Hugh
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and lays on a grill? Frank. What's his wife's name? Patty
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene. What if she's Asian? Irene
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and sits on a swing? Anything you want, what's he really going to do about it?
So, a blonde, an asian, and an african american are at lunch at school
The blonde opens up her lunch box and sees a PB&J. She exclaims "If I get PB&J one more time I'm going to kill myself."
The asian girl opens her lunch box and sees rice. She says "If I get rice more time I'm going to kill myself."
The african american girl opens her lunch box and sees chicken. She goes "If I get chicken one more time, I'm going to kill myself."
The next day they're all at lunch and the same thing happens, only they all kill themselves once they've opened they're lunch box and see the same food.
The asian girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her rice for lunch again!"
The african american girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her chicken again!"
The blonde girls parents look puzzled and say "I don't know what her problem was, she packed her own lunch."
A panda walks into a restaurant
and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter.
As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!"
"Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!
"The manager opens his dictionary and reads: "Panda: a tree-dwelling-mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white-coloring. Eats, shoots and leaves."
A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...
Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."
I'm convinced my dad does the ultimate dad joke
Whenever we are at a restaurant and my dad ends up with baby corn on his plate he waits for the waiter to come back and he takes the baby corn and eats it as it were a corn on the cob and asks, "Is this how you're suppose to eat it?" Usually this happens at some sort of Asian restaurant and the Asian waiter is very confused and awkwardly smiles. The rest of my family always fear there will be baby corn on his plate when we go out but once the plate comes, we know theres no stopping it.
One that eats shoots and leaves in a classic joke!
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager and left the restaurant, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.
White guy, asian guy and black guy...
A white guy and asian guy and a black guy are in a plane that crashes, and they all end up on a beach on a deserted island. They devise a plan to get prepared, knowing that it could be awhile until they are found. They decide the white guy is going to find food, the black guy is going to build the shelter, and the asian guy is going to find supplies. So the white guy goes off, finds berries and bananas, comes back to find the black guy is finishing off the shelter for them to stay in. They can't find the asian guy anywhere, so they start their search. After a couple minutes and a bit of distance away from the shelter they hear rumbling in the bushes. They take a step back, scared .... and all of the sudden, the asian guy jumps out of the bushes, and yells.... SUPPLIES.
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Japanese man are hired at a construction site.
The foreman says to the Italian "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Asian "You're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while." Later when the foreman returns he sees Nothing's done. He says to the Italian "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" "I no gotta broom. You tella da guy he inna charge of a supplies, but he go an I could no finda him!" Then asks the Scot "Didn't I tell you to shovel?" "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. I canna find where the supplies man is aboot!" The foreman is really angry now and storms off looking for the Asian. Just then the Japanese guy springs out and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
A building firm hires a new Asian employee...
So the foreman tell the Asian man to go into a room and count the supplies. Having heard nothing for several hours, the foreman goes in to check the progress and can't find the man. So the Asian man jumps out from behind a shelf and yells "SUPPLIES!!"
Flight back home
Guy was boarding a plane to go back home from a business trip.
As he was boarding another passenger asks him: "our flight looks full what do you think they will do??"
The Asian man flying back home says "beats me"
TIL about Kopi Luwak, an expensive coffee made from partially digested coffee cherries defecated by the Asian palm civet.
Imagine the barista's face when you go to the coffee shop then ask for a crappuccino.
I wasn't going to make a joke about Zion's shoe exploding...
Between stitches, an asian kid told me "You don't have quality material" insisting "[I] put myself in his shoes. Just for a minute. Just do it!"
Chung Hoi
A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament.
From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king.
He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament.
The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV.
A hot Asian girl walks up to his room and he says, "Wow. They must really love me here."
He begins to have s**... with her the whole night. She continues to scream, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!," but he ignores it.
At the tournament, the American golfer gets a hole-in-one and gets really excited.
He starts yelling, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!"
One of the Chinese golfers says, "What do you mean 'WRONG HOLE'?"
Trump has spent about twenty percentage of his days in office playing golf.
(Me, an Asian)
If I spent that much time playing golf, my GPA would go down to a...—————
*takes out calculator*————
*quick math*————
*puts it back*———
98.1. My GPA would go down to a 98.1.
Yeah, schools aren't that good.
An Asian man goes on a trip to America
He goes to an American Bank to converts his money to dollars, while going through his trip he meets a generous old friend who decides to let him stay in his place and also pay for his expenses during his stay.
After a few days he decides to return back to his country and heads to the bank to convert his money back. But the asian man sees that he received less money than he previously had even though he hadn't spent anything, so he asks about this to the banker.
The banker said," fluctuations ".
The asian man replied," fluck you americans too".
An Asian man goes to rent a car, and the clerk sees the man's name is Herschel Leibowitz
The clerk asks him how an Asian man like himself got the name Herschel Leibowitz. He responds in a heavy accent "When I was going through immigration, we were in a line in the area where we give our names. The name of the man in front of me was Herschel Leibowitz. When they call for me to ask me what my name is, I said "Sam Ting"
