On Liner Jokes
129 on liner jokes and hilarious on liner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about on liner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest On Liner Short Jokes
Short on liner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The on liner humour may include short one liner jokes also.
- Here is the best one liner from the legend, Mitch Hedberg My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
- Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
- A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap. The psychiatrist says "Well, I can clearly see youre nuts"
- If you don't have friends, just tell a woman that you love her and she says that we're just friends.
- I broke up with my girlfriend by text last night, it went pretty ugly... She got up from the couch, started beating me with her phone...
- It's the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in christmas cracker, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets. The real joke is in the comets
- My favorite 2 liner Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. I see a few new faces this week and I'm disappointed.
- Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.
- My friend and I recently watched the Star Wars films back to back in preparation for The Last Jedi... unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the screen.
- One liners about professions ? Example, I would have been a doctor but I didn't have the patience. Or, trained as a chiropractor but I couldn't crack it.
Anyone got any more ?
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On Liner One Liners
Which on liner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with on liner? I can suggest the ones about lined and lining.
- Why does Stephen hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up
- I recently sold my vaccum. It was just collecting dust.
- y = mx + c
- Let's face it... That's not the first time Germany has gone into Russia unprepared...
- Monorails make decent one-liners
- y'all ever heard any monorail jokes? i hear they make good one-liners.
- Using single ply toilet paper is the best way of getting in touch with your inner self.
- I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work, said the disgusting bartender.
- Scientists have discovered that diarrhea runs in the genes.
- A cannibal passed a priest in the woods.
- One liner What do epileptic vegetarians eat?
-Seizure Salads - Post your best One-Liner. You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
- Who just can't get enough of one liners? Coke addicts.
- Girl: "Hey, what's up?"
Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?" - My favourite jokes are one liners about launderettes What can I say, I love dry clean humour.
Great On Liner Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about on liner you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean one lined jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make on liner pranks.
Why are all jokes about women one-liners?
So men can understand them.
Stephen Hawking has a great sense of humor. He does One-liners, but not a Stand-up comedy.
I was going to get a tattoo of a cross on my t**...,
but I thought it would be too sacrilegious.
Have you ever seen an Asian person with Down Syndrome?
But then again, how could you tell?
I recently bought a superconducting electric heater...
I was not impressed!
I popped off my g-string while f**... a minor.
Hey, why don't you go slip into something a little more comfortable.....like a coma!!!!!
You have a striking face.....how many times has it been struck?
One liner....
A recent survey shows that s**... banks beat blood banks in contributions...HANDS DOWN!
Cruel One Liner
Yesterday my uncle slipped into a coma; b**... living the dream!
Chemistry One Liner
I'd love to tell you a chemistry joke, but I heard they were argon.
As seen on a bridge at my local university.
Reindeer joke!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer passed away today at the age of 57. He was struck by a 747 jet liner and a flock of seagulls as he flew over Barcelona. Coroners say that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Somewhere off Gilligan's Island...
On a Christmas cruise on a luxury ocean liner in the Pacific,
a passenger sees seven straggly people on a small island
jumping up and down and waving their hands and shouting.
"Who are they?" the passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. But each year when we pass, they go nuts."
Dirty f**... one liner
The hardest part of being into double p**..., is that you have to get two people into it.
I need help thinking of a joke involving supernatural creatures
It needs to be a one or two liner, no knock knock jokes or riddles.
Context: I'm working at a summer camp and my call sign is Ghost. Tomorrow morning at the assembly, I'm going up and giving some world news (spoofs, not actual news). I want to say "hey guys, I'm Ghost with all your *other*worldly news", but I'm having trouble thinking of what to say after that. Any ideas would be great.
(meta) About the direction this sub is going
Every top post I see from this sub now is a basic one liner, and half of them aren't even that good. While I appreciate a good simple joke as much as the next person, there needs to be a good mixture that include actual story jokes with a true set up and punchline.
Submit your best! (Puns)
What are your best one or two liner PUNS?
Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.
I've been up all night doing one-liners...
It's giving me a nosebleed.
An 80 year old couple have been married for 54 years.
It's a one-liner.
What's dad's best one-liner?
"My wife."
One liner
So two law students walk into a bar
Are one-liners accepted?
I immediately stopped telling people I was xenophobic when I realized it doesn't mean "afraid of xenomorphs".
Terrible one-liner I came up with while on autopilot at work.
I'm not saying I'm a s**... guru, but I know most of the ins and outs
What are your thoughts on monorails?
They make decent one-liners.
A one-liner walks into a bar.
Did you guys hear the one-liner about the Monorail?
How does a one liner hurt its readers?
With its punchline
What's a pirates favorite letter?
You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!'
Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes
I knew a t**... guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
One liners
I'm at a VFW and I want dirty raunchy one liners to tell, racism allowed
Did you hear about the red luxury cruise liner that collided with the blue luxury cruise liner?
The passengers and crew were marooned.
I can really see myself working in a mirror factory
I was going to run out of the way from the tornado
But then I realized it was turning.
A bastardized one liner from /u/SkidMark_wahlberg comment.
Grow it out for the summer
Nice one liner I thought of today-
What do you think? Should I grow my wrists out for the summer? Or cut them now?
Epicurean One-Liner
The death row inmate eats burgers and fries.
[One Liner] You can't blame vending machines for killing more people than sharks...
Imagine if people were pushing YOUR b**... all the time.
My favourite jokes are one liners about launderettes
What can I say, I love dry clean humour.
A one-liner comedian and a geneticist were planning a family
using a pun-net square
Any joke can be a one liner
^^^^^^^if ^^^^^^^you ^^^^^^^write ^^^^^^^small ^^^^^^^enough.
One Liner: With everything that Hillary Clinton says, at least we know she's not Aes Sedai.
Because she lies.
Imagine it, you're in an action movie, about to kick down a door and burst into the room killing all the baddies and your witty one-liner is...
Oops wrong theater.
Clever one-liner
I'd rather die than drink water.
Wanna hear a good one liner?
1 Dimension
One liner
I'm an immigrant, you're an immigrant. we should be friends with benefits.
What's the best one liner you've heard?
Had this dropped on me at work today.
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Why does Steven Hawking only speak in one-liners?
He can't do stand-up.
My girlfriend just dumped me. She said I had s**... like an avenger.
She really did not appreciate me interrupting the action with funny one-liners
Math one liner
All prime numbers are odd except one.
What did the American mobile tower on the coast say about the foreign cruise liner?
I will not sync with this ship.
They say one-liners are the lowest form of comedy
That's why I only tell my jokes to midgets
Just came up with a one-liner after hearing an ad on the radio
Conflict-free wedding ring is an oxymoron.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners
He can't do standup comedy!
A comedian and his friend are having a Tetris battle.
But the comedian lost because he only had one liners.
I've never met someone who's good at frisbee and thought "he's the type of person I'd want to hang out with"
Standup 1 liner throwin out there
A man is on a fancy cruise ship...
And he says, I really like this one liner!
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?
TIL: The Titanic was not just a passenger liner, but also a cargo ship
Among other things, it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise bound for Mexico. When Mexico heard that they would not receive it, they understandably upset, and decided to name a day in memorial of it. They called this day Cinco de Mayo.
Spanish comedy....
Has the best Juan liners.
I came up with the best clickbait one liner
See
What did they say about the jacket that had lost it's liner?
It was a shell of its former self
When Drake gets c**..., he calls me so I can hit him with a one-liner insult to keep him humble...
I'm his Hotline Zing!
I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.
I'm on a roll.
Please look at my previous post to see a list of my
jokes. Please give me feedback Thanks!
I'm trying to bring puns and one-liners into the U.S.A.
So... Heard you like cheesy one liners?...
Well you're always going to have a Gouda time with me! 😉😜
#instapuss #yourwelcom
How do you call a self-restrained coke addict?
A one-liner
