Olympic Sports Jokes
55 olympic sports jokes and hilarious olympic sports puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about olympic sports that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Olympic Sports Short Jokes
Short olympic sports jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The olympic sports humour may include short olympic games jokes also.
- If laziness was an Olympic sport. I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
- If having low confidence and low self-esteem was an Olympic sport... I would probably get bronze.
- I saw an ad for a prison. Apparently they have the safest gym in the country. There's an Olympic sports doctor there 24/7.
- If getting ordinary words confused with types of mushrooms was an Olympic sport... I'd be world champignon.
- I am a little worried about the future of the sport of Olympic skiing. It's just going downhill.
Fast. - What's the hardest Olympic sport to master? Hurdling. There are a lot of obstacles on the way, and it's hard to get a leg up on the competition.
- If being a disappointment were an Olympic sport.... I could win the gold, have my father present the medal to me, and it still wouldn't be enough for him to be proud of me.
- [Politics] Is mental gymnastics an Olympic Sport? If it is, Sean Spicer could take home the gold, silver and bronze for the US.
- What is the greatest sport in the history of the Olympics? Discus(s).
[I think this works better verbally...] - 2020 Mens Olympics New Sport They should add edging into the men's olympics in 2020. It would be the only event in which you'd actually want to come last.
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Olympic Sports One Liners
Which olympic sports one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with olympic sports? I can suggest the ones about olympic athletes and olympic swimming.
- Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can get is bronze.
- If procrastination were an olympic sport I'd compete in it later.
- What Olympic sport will Ukrainians always beat Russian in? The javelin thrown.
- 'Olympic throwing sports aren't what they used to be.' Discuss.
- What is the saddest Olympic sport to watch? Water Polio
- What's Mike Pence's favourite Olympic sport? Trap shooting.
- If lazyness was an olympic sport I would not have have signed up for it. Too much hazzle
- USA's been so good at the Olympics, it's trumped the rest!
- In what Olympic sport did Israel win a gold medal? Jujitsu
- Irony moment in sports When you see lifeguards in Olympic swimming competition
- If laziness was an Olympic sport I would
- The Olympics Where I learn about sports I didn't know existed
- Hear about the 2020 summer olympics? They're going to hold the water sports in Houston.
- If there was an Olympic sport for procrastination I would win a- wait brb
- Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
Olympic Sports Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about olympic sports you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean olympic gold jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make olympic sports pranks.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse k**... the judges because they misspelled his name.
The Italian boxing team boycotted the Olympics when they heard it was going to be one on one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Olympics / opening ceremony jokes
Credit where credit's due - I got these from Sickipedia. I'm brand new here but I gather these would be appreciated...
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I certainly enjoyed the opening ceremony which displayed the history of the early 20th century Britain.
I can't wait until the games are held in Germany.
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So in the Olympic Opening Ceremony, British athletes can walk behind a bloke carrying the Union Jack and everyone cheers...
...But when the BNP do it it's frowned upon.
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My mate asked me: "What is the shortest race in the Olympics?"
After thinking for a few minutes, I came up with an answer:
"Chinese," I replied.
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I'm entering the m**... Tournament in the Olympics this year.
Very stiff competition though.
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As I watched the woman's football today, my wife proudly quipped, "This just shows you how far the Olympics have come, women excelling at men's sports. What do you think this means?"
I don't think "22 blokes are forced to get a take-away tonight" was the answer she was looking for.
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Well done Danny Boyle. Nothing says "London" better than youths setting fire to stuff.
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7 years the London Olympics have been in the making.
Never has it taken so long for a large number of foreigners to enter the country.
What is the only olympic sport that mexicans can compete in?
Bordercross
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's Sting's favorite Olympic sport?
The long h**...
I think we should rename the Water Sports in the Rio Olympics
Secret of the Ooze is more accurate
TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.
He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.
Where does the Alphabet go to play sports and compete for medals?
The "O"lympics
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why will Islamic State sweep all the winning Gold medals in 2018 Winter Olympics?
They will introduce Border Cross as an olympic sport.
Drum Fill!
The olympics really aren't about sports anymore.
What's the newest sport to be added to the Olympics?
Mental gymnastics.
A question asked to the Olympic boxing team regarding the dangers of their sport.
10% responded that boxing is dangerous to health, the remaining 90% did not understand the question.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There should be a Olympic sport just for women
Name it 500m jump to conclusions