Olympic Gold Medal Jokes
42 olympic gold medal jokes and hilarious olympic gold medal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about olympic gold medal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Olympic Gold Medal Short Jokes
Short olympic gold medal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The olympic gold medal humour may include short olympic gold jokes also.
- Olympic Results for sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal.
The French have taken the Silver medal.
The Somalians have taken the boats. - Hear about the first Polish athlete to win an Olympic gold medal? He was so proud, he had it bronzed.
- North Korea athletes... North Korea athletes, who fail to win gold medals in this year's Olympic Games, will have a chance to win gold medals in the next Paralympic Games.
- Did you hear about the blonde that won the gold medal in the Olympics? She was so proud she had it bronzed.
- Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.
- A man wins back to back golds in the Olympics for the decathlon. Ashton was Eaton up the competition
- Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
Hiring recent college grads.
REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers. - I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid
- If being a disappointment were an Olympic sport.... I could win the gold, have my father present the medal to me, and it still wouldn't be enough for him to be proud of me.
- How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics? They take their prison population and school population to Rio.
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Olympic Gold Medal One Liners
Which olympic gold medal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with olympic gold medal? I can suggest the ones about olympic medals and olympics medals.
- Michael Phelps won his 21st olympic gold medal. You could say he's swimming in them!
- What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
- In what Olympic sport did Israel win a gold medal? Jujitsu
- What's better than winning a gold medal in the quadriplegic (crippled) Olympics? Walking.
- Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed. - A Mexican man contended in the Olympics He won a gold medal in the "Jump and run" event.
- Barrack Obama won the Olympic Gold Medal Usain Bolt was running for President
- What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics? She has it bronzed.
- Whats better then a gold medal in the special Olympics? Not being r**....
Olympic Gold Medal Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about olympic gold medal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gold medal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make olympic gold medal pranks.
(True joke) In 1960, after winning his olympic gold medal, Muhammad Ali went to eat at a fancy downtown resteraunt.
When the waiter came over Ali asked for a cheeseburger.
Shocked to see a black man sitting in the resteraunt, the waiter announced "We don't serve n**...".
Ali: "Well I don't eat them either, just give me my d**... cheeseburger".
Bragging Doctors
Doc 1 bragged, "I had a patient once who blew out his ACL & MCL. I reconstructed his knee, and 2 years later he completed the Boston marathon."
Doc 2 replied, "That's nothing! I had a patient who was in a head-on collision with a truck. I reconstructed virtually all of his joints and more, and later he won an Olympic gold medal in the decathlon."
Doc 3 chucked condescendingly. "Child's play. I had a patient who was in a horrible e**.... He was blown to bits. All they found was a huge, gaping a**.... I put a suit and tie on it, and now he's the owner and general manager of the Dallas Cowboys!"
Olympian
An old man goes up to a p**.... He says how much do you charge? . She says €150 . He replies I've got no money, all I have is these two Olympic gold medals I won in the 60's . She says that'll do , takes the medals and off they go to take care of business. Next evening another old man approaches, how much do you charge? he asks. €200 she says. Are you any good? he then asks. Well I've two Olympic gold medals
Like most people I've been enjoying the Olympics...
I noticed that the USA have won 3/3 gold medals in shooting so far. It really goes to show that if you put in the work in school, you really can acheive anything.
I heard your mom won a gold medal!
I didn't even know they had sumo wrestling at the Olympics!
My team got silver medal in the s**... Olympics.
We would have got gold but I came first in the o**....
Q: Did you hear about the Oregon fan who won a gold medal at the Olympics?
A: He liked it so much that he decided to get it bronzed.
How does Usain Bolt feel after being stripped of one of his Olympic Gold Medals?
Fast and Furious
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
In the same event. From home.
Why will Islamic State sweep all the winning Gold medals in 2018 Winter Olympics?
They will introduce Border Cross as an olympic sport.
Drum Fill!
Did you hear about the Mongolian Olympic wrestler?
He lost the gold medal due to p**... jock elation. (all credit to /u/sasquatchiam, link in comments)
What did Puerto Rico say upon winning a gold medal in the olympics?
Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
3 surgeons discuss who is the best surgeon of them.
Says the one: "I am the best surgeon of Texas! A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I sewed them on and tomorrow he gives a private concert for the queen."
Says the second: "This is nothing! A young man lost both his arms and his legs in an accident. I stitched them back on and two years later he won the gold medal in the olympic games!"
Says the 3rd: "Amateurs! A few years ago a cowboy rode s**... and drunk in front of a train. All that remained were his b**... and the blonde mane of his horse. I did the surgery on him and today he is the president of the United States."
The Olympic gold medal winner of corporate sales was announced today.
He sold an Arab man to a Jew.
[Long]Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together
and discussing surgeries they had performed..
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident;
I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.
The second surgeon said.. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident;
I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track and field events in the Olympics.
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs . Several years ago a man was high on c**... and m**...
and he rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour.
All I had left to work with was the man's blonde hair and the Horse's a**....
I was able to put them together and now he's running for President of the U..S.A!"