Olympic Games Jokes
39 olympic games jokes and hilarious olympic games puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about olympic games that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Olympic Games Short Jokes
Short olympic games jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The olympic games humour may include short olympic sports jokes also.
- Why doesn't Mexico host the Olympic games? All the good runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the US.
- North Korea athletes... North Korea athletes, who fail to win gold medals in this year's Olympic Games, will have a chance to win gold medals in the next Paralympic Games.
- Why did they have to cancel the volleyball games in the special olympics? It wasn't going over too well.
- This years Olympics in Rio is going to be one of the most steady and relaxing Games in history No one will be Russian.
- Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games? All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.
- Olympic curling seems like the kind of game... Mr. Miyagi would have invented to trick Daniel into sweeping his floors.
- What is the saddest that can happen to Putin's team for the olympic games ? To be put out.
- "I'd like to welcome all the athletes to the Olympic Games" "I'd also like to welcome the curling teams"
- This just in: Argentina's football team to represent their country as the diving team in 2020 Olympic Games
- I'm looking forward to taking part in the sun tanning event in the PyeongChang 2018 Olympic Winter Games... I'm going for the Bronze...
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Olympic Games One Liners
Which olympic games one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with olympic games? I can suggest the ones about olympic athletes and summer olympics.
- That's so Dope Russia wanted it to represent them in the next Olympic game
- How much did the Olympic Games cost? About a Brazillion dollars.
- Q: What do you give a pig who wins a medal at the Olympic games?
A: A pork medallion. - What's better than making African record in the Olympic games? Eating.
- Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world...
Including himself. - Q: What do you give a pig who wins a medal at the Olympic games?
A: A pork medallion. - I hereby declare these 2016 Olympic Games Oilfishery open
- Best headline I have ever read "Tball stand pitches perfect game at special olympics"
- London Olympic games probably had the highest viewership.. coz x**...
- Did you hear Nintendo was making a Special Olympics game? It's called Wiitarded
Cheerful Fun Olympic Games Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about olympic games you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean winter olympics jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make olympic games pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games?
Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.
Trump at the Olympics
Donald Trump is opening the Olympic Games and has to read a speech.
"Oh" he says. "Oh, oh, oh ..."
An aide nudges him, "Mr. Trump, stop," he says. "You're reading the Olympic symbol."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Work has already begun in preparation for the 2028 Olympic Games in Los Angeles
Mostly by ISIS
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
With the concerns over water quality at the upcoming Rio Olympic games, I think we should ask, what would Jesus do?
Walk on water, he ain't swimming in that filth.
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PSA: Brazilian officials have assured that they've taken measures to lower the chances of being m**... there during the Olympic games to be...
Juan/Brazilian.
Nintendo is releasing a new special olympics game for the Wii!!
They are calling it wiitarded
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 surgeons discuss who is the best surgeon of them.
Says the one: "I am the best surgeon of Texas! A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I sewed them on and tomorrow he gives a private concert for the queen."
Says the second: "This is nothing! A young man lost both his arms and his legs in an accident. I stitched them back on and two years later he won the gold medal in the olympic games!"
Says the 3rd: "Amateurs! A few years ago a cowboy rode s**... and drunk in front of a train. All that remained were his b**... and the blonde mane of his horse. I did the surgery on him and today he is the president of the United States."
The hotel gardener.
The was once a gardener who worked in a hotel. One day, he decides to walk in the garden and he spots a 50 pounds watermelon. He continues his walk in the garden to find a tomato as big as a soccer ball. Finding this very strange, he contacts the hotel's director and he takes an appointment with him for the next day.
Tomorrow comes and he meets the hotel's director. As soon as the director finishes his greetings, the gardener says: "Listen boss, I don't care if the hotel shelters the Olympic Games, but please tell the athletes to stop peeing in the garden!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Olympics / opening ceremony jokes
Credit where credit's due - I got these from Sickipedia. I'm brand new here but I gather these would be appreciated...
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I certainly enjoyed the opening ceremony which displayed the history of the early 20th century Britain.
I can't wait until the games are held in Germany.
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So in the Olympic Opening Ceremony, British athletes can walk behind a bloke carrying the Union Jack and everyone cheers...
...But when the BNP do it it's frowned upon.
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My mate asked me: "What is the shortest race in the Olympics?"
After thinking for a few minutes, I came up with an answer:
"Chinese," I replied.
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I'm entering the m**... Tournament in the Olympics this year.
Very stiff competition though.
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As I watched the woman's football today, my wife proudly quipped, "This just shows you how far the Olympics have come, women excelling at men's sports. What do you think this means?"
I don't think "22 blokes are forced to get a take-away tonight" was the answer she was looking for.
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Well done Danny Boyle. Nothing says "London" better than youths setting fire to stuff.
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7 years the London Olympics have been in the making.
Never has it taken so long for a large number of foreigners to enter the country.