Oliver Jokes

Funniest Oliver Short Jokes

Short oliver jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The oliver humour may include short bates jokes also.

1. My ex girlfriend was a beautiful woman... ... olive skin, green eyes, snakes for hair.
   But I had to break it off with her because she was constantly objectifying me.
2. Cooking with French ingredients always makes me depressed. Yesterday I almost lost the huile d'olive.
3. Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a martini. The bartender asks,"Olive or twist?"
4. My one and only joke. Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says "Ahhh are you ok?" And the one that fell is like "Yeah, olive."
5. What's the most popular first date spot in Alabama? Olive Garden: when you're here, you're family.
6. "Do Not only strike while the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking."-Oliver Cromwell Tried this on my girlfriend, now I'm going to jail.
7. Literary Humor. I ordered a martini with an olive and a twist of lime.
   The bartender served it with no olive or twist.
   I gave him the Dickens.
8. A lot of people don't know about Rudolph's wife Olive, but she is mentioned in the song: "Olive, the other reindeer."
9. So I was wondering whether any of my friends could possibly teach me quidditch... ...and then I thought, "wait a minute, I know one. Oliver would".
10. Why did the Alabama man only sleep with waitresses from Olive Garden? Because when you're there, you're family.

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Oliver One Liners

Which oliver one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with oliver? I can suggest the ones about and .

1. Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost his huile d'olive
2. Why did Popeye beat up the pope? He heard he was going to Mount Olive
3. Did you hear about the depressed French chef? He'd lost the huile d'olive.
4. What do Popeye's fingers smell like? Olive oil.
5. What do Popeye and sardines have in common? They both come in olive oil.
6. What part of Popeye has the smoothest skin? The part he dips in Olive Oyl.
7. What part of Popeye doesn't rust? The one he sticks in Olive Oyl.
8. What is Popeye's favorite Led Zeppelin song? Olive My Love
9. What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye beat him up
10. What did Oliver Twist order at the Indian restaurant? Please, can I have samosa?
11. They named a chicken joint Popeye's... ...because they stick it in Olive Oil.
12. What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oyl...
13. Why were the two olives fighting? They were pitted against each other.
14. What did the bartender say when Charles Dickens ordered a martini? Olive or twist?
15. How did the olive feel before it was dropped into a martini? Scared pitless

Oliver Twist Jokes

Here is a list of funny oliver twist jokes and even better oliver twist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear about the new Indian version of Oliver Twist? "Please, can I have samosa?"
• Oliver Twist has everything I ever wanted in a book I really couldn't ask for more.
• How did the orphans in Oliver Twist communicate with each other? Through *more*se code!
• What did the Indian Oliver Twist say to the orphan master? Please sir, can I have samosa?
• What did Oliver Twist say at the s**... auction? Please sir, I want some moors.

John Oliver Jokes

Here is a list of funny john oliver jokes and even better john oliver puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What was John Lennon's favorite fruit & place to eat it? A wee olive in a yellow submarine.
• Racist joke incoming Why did John Oliver call Xi Jingping Winnie the Pooh
  Because they're both yellow
• John Oliver ? that guy's so last week
• John Oliver have created few years back the site where you can "Scream something into the void". Sadly that site is now deleted, but I have found an alternative. It's called the customer support.
• Why isn't John Oliver having sultanas in his fruitcake? Because it's the currant year.
• What do you get when you cross Stephen Colbert with the entire country of England? John Oliver

Comical Oliver Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about oliver you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make oliver pranks.