Olive Oil Jokes
87 olive oil jokes and hilarious olive oil puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about olive oil that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Olive Oil Short Jokes
Short olive oil jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The olive oil humour may include short olive jokes also.
- If olive oil is made from olives and coconut oil is made from coconut what is baby oil made from? Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.
- A truck carrying olive oil crashed into a truck carrying red wine vinegar, inside a nudist camp First responders reported that everyone nearby was well dressed
- Oil If:
Peanut oil is made from peanuts.
Olive oil is made from olives.
Corn oil is made from corn.
Then:
What is baby oil made from? - What did the French chef say when he was sick and tired of misplacing his olive oil? "I'm losing my huile d'olive."
- If we get olive oil from squeezing olives, and we get coconut oil from squeezing coconuts…. Where does baby oil come from?
- I've started using garlic in my magic act. First I start by crushing it, adding basil and some pine nuts and then I blend them altogether with some Parmesan and olive oil... Then…hey…pesto!
- This sub is the best. It has salami, pepperoni, lettuce, black olives, green peppers, provolone cheese, and oil. 10/10
- The people on early Mediterranean cities used to enjoy using olive oil as "personal lubricant." They really loved ancient grease.
- We crush olives for olive oil, we crush walnuts for walnut oil and we crush sunflower seeds for sunflower oil So how do we make baby oil?
- I had to magic up some Italian food for an unexpected guest. I just mixed garlic, nuts, basil, cheese, and olive oil, and *Hey Pesto!*
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Olive Oil One Liners
Which olive oil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with olive oil? I can suggest the ones about olive oyl and cooking oil.
- What do Popeye's fingers smell like? Olive oil.
- What do Popeye and sardines have in common? They both come in olive oil.
- They named a chicken joint Popeye's... ...because they stick it in Olive Oil.
- Why does Popeye's tool never rust? Because he keeps it in Olive Oil.
- What does a horse do when he eats a bunch of eggs and olive oil? He Mayo-neighs
- How much olive oil does Snoop Dogg use to cook? A drizzle.
- Why do depressed Frenchmen consume so much olive oil? It gives them a huile d'olive
- What do you call Basil, Pine Nuts, and Olive Oil with a bad attitude? Pestomistic
- He drank the entire bottle of olive oil? Olive it.
- Are you olive oil ? Then no, your worth is not determined by your virginity !
- If olive oil is made from olives... What is baby oil made of?
- I like my women like I like my olive oil... Healthy and buoyant.
- What makes olive oil lose it's virginity? Popeye
- What do you call olive oil that is really outgoing? Extroversion
- I like my women like I like my olive oil
Olive Oil Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about olive oil you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean olive garden jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make olive oil pranks.
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Different fats
The Italian man said, "Last week, my wife and I had great s**.... I rubbed
her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed
for five full minutes at the end."
The Frenchman boasted, "Last week when my wife and I had s**..., I rubbed
her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen minutes."
The Gay guy said, "Well, last week my boyfriend and I also had s**.... I
rubbed his body all over with Crisco. We made love, and he screamed for
over six hours."
The other two were stunned. The amazed Frenchman asked, "What could you
have possibly done to make your boyfriend scream for six hours?"
The Gay guy said, "I used the bedspread to wipe my hands."
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GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.
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God enjoys a good laugh!!
(found on my FB newsfeed)
**There were three good arguments that Jesus was Black:**
* He called everyone brother;
* He liked Gospel;
* He didn't get a fair trial.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:**
* He went into His Father's business;
* He lived at home until he was 33;
* He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:**
* He talked with His hands;
* He had wine with His meals;
* He used olive oil.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:**
* He never cut His hair;
* He walked around barefoot all the time;
* He started a new religion.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:**
* He was at peace with nature;
* He ate a lot of fish;
* He talked about the Great Spirit.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:**
* He never got married;
* He was always telling stories;
* He loved green pastures.
**But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a woman:**
* He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food;
* He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it;
* And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.
Can I get an AMEN!!
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You know what Popeye and Napoleon have in common?
They both come on those little j**... of Olive Oil.
What does Popeye use to toss his salad?
Olive Oil.
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What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme , salt, pepper and m**....
Cheech Marinade
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Why is it called extra v**... olive oil?
Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.
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Where do you get 'Extra v**...' olive oil?
Really ugly olives.
Water says to olive oil: 'I think we have to separate' Olive oil: 'Is it because I'm fat?'
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Why dracula drinks the blood of virgins
The same reason we put "v**..."
into olive oil
He drank an entire bottle of olive oil?
Daughter: "Where's the olive oil?"
Father: "I drank it."
Daughter: "You drank an entire bottle of olive oil?"
Father: Without so much as a grin, "Yes, olive it."
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What's the difference between v**... olive oil and extra v**... olive oil?
*thick Italian accent* "She don't even touch it."
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Why does Popeye have such huge forearms?
Olive Oil is a v**...
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Why did the s**... bomber slather himself in extra v**... olive oil?
73 is a larger number than 72
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My olive oil is "Extra v**..."....
...unlike yo mama!
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Why did the t**... return the regular olive oil?
He wanted extra v**....
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In Italy, they call me Olive Oil
Its because im extra v**.... :(
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I didn't know I had anything in common with Olive Oil!
We are both extra v**...!
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What's the difference between Olive Oyl and Extra v**... Olive Oil?
Nothing, which explains Popeye's forearms.
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What is a terrorists favorite culinary item?
Extra v**... olive oil
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What is Popeye's favorite thing to eat?
v**... Olive Oil
You should try adding olive oil to Kale
It makes it much easier to slide into to the trash.
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The armed grenade was under a pile of chick peas, tahini and olive oil.
Captain Smith threw himself on top of it to save his men from the inevitable e**....
His medal for bravery was awarded post-hummusly
Told the waiter I wanted Greek salad...
"With olive oil... NOT with Vaseline, like the last time!"
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social l**...
Do you know what makes a great non-alcoholic social lubricant?
Extroversion olive oil.
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I just bought some incel olive oil.
I figured if "extra v**..." olive oil is good, this stuff would be amazing.
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Why is olive oil called extra v**...?
Because the only Italians allowed to make it are eunuchs
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Why is it called 'Extra v**... Olive Oil'?
Because it was pressed by Nuns.
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What is extra-v**... olive oil's favorite exercise?
The cold press.
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So I just came back from a vacation in Italy...
The only thing extra v**... was the olive oil.
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Gordon Ramsay is obsessed with virgins...
He always tells us to use extra v**... olive oil.
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Hmm.......extra v**... olive oil.....
......so that's why I can't get laid.
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What's Harvey Weinstein's favourite type of olive oil?
Extra v**....
What did the fisherman do when he found smelly meat with small lips and olive oil?
Master Bait
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If I were olive oil
I'd be extra v**....
Right, today we are going to make the best cereal and milk
Gordon Ramsay:
#Olive oil, *I N*
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If you play Fortnite you are like olive oil.
Extra v**...
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What do incels use for lubrication?
Extra v**... olive oil.
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Why do they call it extra v**... olive oil?
You have to unscrew the lid...
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What's common between me, good quality olive oil, and probably you?
They're all extra v**....
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I *almost* got that...
My wife stared at me in disbelief and cried, Why are you standing n**... in the kitchen and also covered in… olive oil?!
I chuckled proudly, Well, you're always saying..."
"...I never glisten!"
She screamed, **"LISTEN!!** You never **listen!!"**
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Why did Popeye never get laid?
Because Olive Oil was extra v**....
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There are 3 types of olive oil.
v**... Olive Oil
Extra v**... Olive Oil
And Olive Oil with a questionable past
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Why is it always 'Extra v**...' olive oil?
Why can't we also have some 'Loose Woman' olive oil?
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How do you make extra v**... olive oil from regular olive oil?
Dating advice from a Redditor.
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Me: Would you like some olive oil on your pasta?
Customer: Is it extra v**...?
Me: *tearing up* No it's the same price
An Italian, a Thai and a Jew are discussing lubricants.
The Italian says: "I am using olive oil from an ancient family grove. My wife is so pleased that she continues to shout for 10 minutes after we are done."
The Thai says: "I am using coconut oil made from cocnuts grown on a secret island. My wife is so pleased that she continues to shout for an hour after we are done."
The Jew says: "I am using Kosher fish oil from the grocery store and my wife is shouting for one month after we are done.'
"One month?" asked in astonishment the other two.
"Yes, that's because I wipe my hands with the bedroom curtains..."