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Oldtimer Jokes

8 oldtimer jokes and hilarious oldtimer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about oldtimer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Charming Humor Oldtimer Jokes with Loads of Fun

What is a good oldtimer joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

An Old Man is thrown out of a bar

A young man who was walking down the street says "Hey Old-Timer, what happened in there". The old man looks at him and says "Well son, I am Jesus Christ". "Jesus Christ?", the young man replied skeptically. "Yes my son, follow me", the old man said as he walked into the bar.
As he enters, the bartender turns around and says "Jesus Christ! not you again!"

The two old-timers...

...were having a chat over the back fence.
"You know, Chester," said one, "you should invest in some heavier curtains for your bedroom window."
"Why's that, Clem?"
"Because the ones you have now are kinda transparent. In fact, last night I could see you making love to your wife."
"Pfft! That shows how bad your eyesight is. I wasn't even home last night!"

The secret of long life

A young man met a cowboy who was 104, still active and in good health. He asked the old-timer what the secret was to his longevity.
The old man said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal every morning see. If you do, you'll live to a nice, ripe old age."
So the young man did this religiously every day for the rest of his life, and sure enough, lived to the age of 100.
When he died he left behind 6 children, 10 grandchildren, 56 great-grandchildren...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

Dirty old man

An old man was sitting on a bench when a teenager with a rainbow mohawk walked by. The old man stared at him. Seeing him star, the teenager said "What's the matter old-timer, never done anything crazy in your life?" The old man replied "Many years ago, I got drunk at a wild party and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering whether you were my son."

Three old-timers sitting on a bench...

The first sighs heavily, and says, "Looks like rain."
After an hour, the second says, "Hmmm, not sure."
After another hour the third gets up painfully and says, "If you two are going to argue, then I'm off."

So an old-timer goes out for breakfast...

And the young whippersnapper of a waiter asks "What will you have, Sir?"
"Bacon my day, sonny!"
[Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works]

What's the difference between an old-time o**... grinder and a h**... addict?

One has a monkey on a leash and the other has a monkey on his back.

New shoes in Soviet Russia

Comrades Evgeny and Aleksander are old-time friends. One day Evgeny meets Aleksander in the street and tells him excitedly that a new batch of shoes has become available to purchase as part of the current five-year plan, in Minsk! He knows Aleksander badly needs new shoes, his only pair are worn from two decades of use.
However Aleksander gets very angry -- "Zhenya, why are you telling me this? We live in Moscow, Minsk is more than 700 km away, it would take a whole day to drive there and we can't even afford the gas!"
"Ahah! Sasha, we don't have to drive there, the line starts just around the corner!"


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about oldtimer can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of oldtimer puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these oldtimer jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.