Olds Jokes

Funniest Olds Short Jokes

Short olds jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The olds humour may include short aged jokes also.

1. This week in DC, mark zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable. He's explaining Facebook to old people.
2. Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree? Because they're so good at it!
   Please don't ban me
3. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands
   You really should upvote this joke because it never gets old
4. I like my women like I like my whiskey. 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
   Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.
5. Why did elon musk choose SpaceX to land on mars? Because if he chose SpaceY he'd land on 14 year old boys.
6. My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
   
7. My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts? That was a blast from the past!
8. Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn't valid anymore. There's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
9. My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning spanish since lockdown. He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
10. Since this is the first year that I've remembered my cake day, here's my four year old's favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.

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Olds One Liners

Which olds one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with olds? I can suggest the ones about flirty and toddlers.

1. Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying? Midlife crisis
2. 6 yr old son made this up. What do exploding pandas eat? BAMBOOM!
3. Today is the last time I will see my 80 year old grandpa Because tomorrow he turns 81!
4. Alright guys, the Suez Canal jokes are getting a bit old now. That ship has sailed.
5. My son is 2934 days old today. He was born on 12/12/12.
    
6. Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald's Farm... I'm the CIEIO
7. This subreddit is 10 years old now. I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
8. I'm 36 but have the body an 18-year-old The police are pretty upset about it.
9. From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You.
   Why I oughta...!
10. why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis
11. I have the body of a 25 year old supermodel But it takes up too much space in my freezer
12. My love life is like Santa Claus. It exists thanks to gullible six year olds
13. Old Macdonald had a dolphin. E-e-e-e-e
14. Courtesy of my seven year-old son: What do cows call their clothes? Moo
15. my 12 year old just got me: what is a kidnappers favorite shoes? White vans.

8 Year Olds Jokes

Here is a list of funny 8 year olds jokes and even better 8 year olds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A joke from my 8 year old......Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same? 10+10=twenty
  11+11=twenty too
• Joke from my 8 year old daughter for Halloween. Why didn't the ghost like to take showers?
  Because it would dampen his spirits.
• My 12 year old just told me a joke He said I've been trying to cut down the amount of video games I play, I'm only playing for 30 minutes before I go to bed. Last night I went to bed 8 times.
• My 8-year-old wrote a dinosaur joke What do you get when you cross a T-Rex and a human?
  A T-Rex
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear
  My 8 year old daughter told me this joke
• A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken
• Guys I just recently bought a 256GB iPhone 7 Plus, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway! The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.
• What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life? Fred and George Weasley.
• What is the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says "Spit out the gum!"
  A train says "Chew! Chew!"
  Ye, courtesy of my 8 year old daughter.
• My 8 year old sister's joke: There were 12 fish in a pond. One of the dies. Why did the water level in the pond rise? -Because the other fish were crying.

5 Year Olds Jokes

Here is a list of funny 5 year olds jokes and even better 5 year olds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Americans are getting stronger; 20 years ago, it took two adults to carry $50 worth of groceries. Today, a 5 year-old can carry them!
• 5 year old daughters first independent joke: What is a cats favourite colour? Purrrrrr-ple
  High fives all round!
• Why do ghosts want to get vaccinated? So they can get boo-sted.
  From my 5 year old on the way home from getting his vaccine.
• Scientists have deciphered hieroglyphics thought to be 5,500 years old. The first full sentence says "This is a repost."
• My 5 year old son found videos meant for adults only... ...but he obviously couldn't understand the advanced calculus lectures from my university, so he stopped watching.
• My 5 year old grandson came up with this joke, and didn't even realize it was funny and made sense: Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? Because he was dribbling. 😊
• how many 5 year olds does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, my basement is still dark so more than eight.
• My 5 year old told me this. What did the snail say while on top of a turtle? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
• What do you call a cow that can't moo? A milk dud
  
• What's a flower plus a t-Rex? A squished flower!
  (An original from my 5 year old)

4 Year Olds Jokes

Here is a list of funny 4 year olds jokes and even better 4 year olds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
  Me: "I dunno, what?"
  Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!"
• My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" My mom answered "Who?"
  "Your daughter"
  courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago
• I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone "Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"
  "No" she sobbed
  I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage
• My 4 year old actually got me with this one 4 y/o: "Knock knock"
  Me: "Who's there?"
  4 y/o: "Interrupting cow goes"
  Me: "Interrupting cow go-"
  4 y/o: "MOOOOOOOO!"
• My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital?
  Because he wasn't peeling very well.
• Typical day with a zero social filter 4 year old. kijk
• I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday. You can say he was having a midlife crisis
• Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road? He wanted to eat some chicken.
• Today my 4-year-old asked me what an autobiography is So I said to her, "It's self-explanatory".
• 4-year-old son 4-year-old: What happens when you die?
  Me: You go to heaven
  
  4-year-old: No, I mean, when you die, do I get your stuff?

6 Year Olds Jokes

Here is a list of funny 6 year olds jokes and even better 6 year olds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
• Why did the kid eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  -My 6 year old Nephew
• Never hit a man with eyeglasses Use your fist instead.
  >Enthusiastically told by my 6 year old brother, I thought it was worth sharing.
• My nephew is in the 'why' phase of his life as a 6 year old... and I told him 'Because it feels nice and you're an unreliable witness!'
• (My 6 year old's first homemade joke) What kind of clothes do cats wear to bed? Answer: Paw-jamas
• Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'd just "let it go".
  My 6 year old told me this.
  I will show myself out now...
• My 6 year old daughter told me this morning that she wanted to grow up and be a feminist.. I told her she could only choose one.
• While bathing my 6 year old son, he stuck a wet foam letter to my back. I pulled the letter "P" away from my skin and my son said "Dad, I peed on your back!"
  -true story, just happened.
• My 6 year olds just told me this at breakfast. What does a cow with no lips say? Oooooooooo
• Courtesy of my 6-year-old: How does a coffee mug fight off dementors? Espresso patronum

Gather Around for Heartwarming Olds Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about olds you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean age jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make olds pranks.