Older Sister Jokes
29 older sister jokes and hilarious older sister puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about older sister that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Older Sister Short Jokes
Short older sister jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The older sister humour may include short younger sister jokes also.
- eat dirt... When I was a girl I had a disease that required me to eat dirt four times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older sister told me about it.
- A girl in Japan had an older sister who owned a car company. What was that company? Nee-san
- My older sister constantly and incorrectly uses the word "ironic" to describe situations in her life. It's pretty ironic.
- My older brother annoyed me, so I gave him condoms with holes in them. My sister got pregnant.
- Abortion KID: Dad, can you tell me something about abortion?
FATHER:Why dont you ask your older sister?
KID: But i dont have sibblings - My sister said when she's older she wants to live on an island off of the coast of Italy. I replied "Don't be sosilly"
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Older Sister One Liners
Which older sister one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with older sister? I can suggest the ones about baby sister and older brother.
- What did the baby milk say to his older sister? You're spoiled!
- I had an older sister growing up I mean - I still do, she's just dead now
Cheerful Fun Older Sister Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about older sister you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean little sister jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make older sister pranks.
When he was a teenager, little Johnny's father caught him reading one of his older sister's magazines. Son, why are you reading that s**... magazine? he asked.
There's an article that tells women where to meet men, Johnny responded, pointing to the magazine's cover. I need to know where I'm supposed to be.
Gorilla
A young girl hit puberty and her body started to change. One day she noticed she was getting hair down there. She went to her mom confused and the mom explained that's your gorilla and it's getting hair. Very excited the young girl went to her older sister and exclaimed my gorilla is getting hair! . The older sister looked at her and said that's nothing, my gorilla is already eating bananas.
It's just a monkey.
When an adolescent girl starts growing p**..., she asks her mother about what's going on with her. The mother replies "it's just a monkey who is starting to grow hair". Later at the dinner table, she tells her older sister that her monkey had started growing hair. The sister replies "Mine even started eating bananas!".
A girl realised she had grown hair in betweem her legs
She asked her mother about that hair, her mom calmy replied:
"The part where that hair has grown is called monkey, so be proud your monkey has grown hair."
She was so happy at the table, she told her older sister her Monkey had grown hair.
Her sister smiled and said:
"Oh thats nothing, my Monkey is already eating bananas."
My 11-year-old grandson spent a beautiful
My 11-year-old grandson spent
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, Someday, you're going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom's basement playing video games all day!
His reply: I can only dream.
Kids Marry The Darnedest Things
A young son declared, When
I grow up, I'm going to marry you, Mommy.
You can't marry your own mother, said his older sister.
Then I'll marry you.
You can't marry me either.
He looked confused, so I explained, You can't marry someone in your own family.
You mean I have to marry a total stranger?! he cried.
A kid asked his mother why his sister was named rose.
His mother replied to him, explaining that roses were her favorite color.
He then asked her the same question in regards to his own name.
"You'll get it when you're older, Richard," she responded.
E: I know I said color instead of flower, but I am leaving it.
A young man turns 21 and decides to change his name.
He goes to the village wise man and explains what he wants.
"You do realize that, in our village, it is a tradition for the father to name a child after the first thing he sees after the child is born, don't you?" The young man nods.
"That is why your older sister is named 'Flying Dove.'" The young man nods.
"And that is also why your younger brother is named 'Running Deer.'" The young man nods.
"So, I don't understand why you would want to change your name, 'Two Dogs f**...'!"
A boy's wishes started coming true
There was a boy who was scolded by his teacher everyday and one day he said to himself, "I wish the s**... man gets run over" and sure enough the next day, news come of the death of his former teacher. The next day he was teased by his older sister so he said again, "I wish she breaks her arm" and sure enough her sister falls from the stairs and breaks her arm. One day his dad tells him off for something and he says, "I wish my dad would die." When he wakes up the next day, his dad was still there however his mum was nowhere to be seen. So he asked his dad where was his mother gone and his dad replies, "she has gone to attend the neighbor's f**...."
Two nuns, Sisters Mary and Teresa, are riding their bikes back to the convent from the shops in the old city.
Sister Mary says Up ahead the road is blocked, but if you follow me, I know another route.
Sister Teresa dutifully follows the older Sister as they wind their way through the city streets and down an old lane.
Sister Mary, asks Sister Teresa, do you know this route well?
Aye, says Sister Mary, I take this route often.
I've never come this way before. says Sister Teresa.
It's the cobblestones. replies Sister Mary.
The PPSH-41 is a soviet gun, which a lot of people disliked. It cost too much to reload with a fire rate of 1000 bpm, and had horrible recoil and aim.
Now, this gun is widely unpopular, but it had one upside: in the russian alphabet, PPSH consisted of three letters, pronounced Pa Pa Sha . In russian, papasha means daddy , and so the popular nickname for this gun was daddy . My older sister was shot by one during her time in the army, and luckily survived.
But I guess she can't let go of the fact that Daddy shot a load in her.
An 11 year old girl realized she began to grow hair between her legs.
She immediately got worried and asked her mom about the hair. Her mom calmly replied,
That part where the hair is grown is called a monkey. You should be proud your monkey has grown hair!
The young girl was excited and went to sleep
The next morning, the young girl went up to her older sister Jessica during breakfast and exclaimed,
Jessie! My monkey has grown hair!
Her sister laughed and smiled while she told her,
My monkey is already eating bananas.
Half as mad
A teacher from primary school asks Peter a question,
Teacher: "Peter; suppose that a car is moving at a speed of 100 mph suddenly brakes and the driver flies out through the windshield at a certain force and lands on the road. What would be my age?"
Peter thought for a moment and replied,
Peter: " Sir, you would be 40 years old."
The teacher; perplexed looked at Peter and asked how could he guess his exact age.
Peter: "Sir, I have an older sister aged 20 and she is half as mad as you."
Little Timmy walks up to his dad and asks,
"Dad, whats the difference between Theory and Reality?", The father replies "Well, go ask your mom if she would screw tom cruise for a million dollars". Timmy runs off, finds mother and gets the answer and comes back. "Yup she would". The Father sighs and says "Alright, go ask your older sister if she would bang Justin Beiber for a million dollars". Timmy runs off, finds his sister and gets the answer and returns "Yup she would"
The father sighs and looks at little timmy. "Well, in theory we are millionaires but in reality we live with a bunch of w**..."
Difference between the words potentially and realistically
A kid goes up to his father and asks him, "Papa, I don't understand the difference between the words potentially and realistically. Could you explain it for me?"
"Of course son. Go to your mother, sister and brother and ask them if they would have s**... with Brad Pitt for a million dollars and see what they say."
The kid goes up to his mother and asks her if she would do the deed with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
"Well, we sure could use the money and he is quite a handsome man. I suppose I would do it."
The boy then goes to his sister and asks if she would let Pitt hit it for a million dollars.
"Well yeah, he's still hot for an older guy."
The lad then goes to his brother and asks if he would allow Brad Pitt to lay pipe in his backyard.
"Honestly bro, I'd do it for that much money."
The boy then runs to his father with his findings. "Papa, I understand now. Potentially, we're sitting on 3 million dollars but realistically we live with 2 w**... and a fairy.
A young divinity student is sent from Montana to the Bronx.
When he approaches the church where he was assigned, a young lady approaches him and says, "Hey father, want a b**...? Fifty bucks." He doesn't know what the girl means but assumes it isn't appropriate, so he declines.
After being intruduced to the staff at the church, he pulls an older nun aside and says, "Forgive me sister, but what's a b**...?"
She replies, "Fifty bucks, same as on the street."
And yes.. I know it's an old joke and almost certainly a repost.
A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm.
The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"
A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm.
The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"
A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm.
The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"