Old West Jokes
32 old west jokes and hilarious old west puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about old west that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Old West Short Jokes
Short old west jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The old west humour may include short wild west jokes also.
- Most gun duels in the old west could have been prevented. If only the city planners had made towns big enough for everyone.
- A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon He says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."
- Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door and I just kept playing
- In the old West, a lantern was often mounted on a horse for night time travel.... It was thought to be the first generation of 'Saddle-Light-Navigation'.
- A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west... and sits down. He looks around and then says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
- Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister. They were both outlaws and in-laws.
- A dog comes limping into the old west salloon. Bartender asks if he can help the dog with anything.
Dog says, "I'm lookin for the low down rascal who shot my paw." - A Short History Lesson The old missionaries who arrived in the West Indies were the cannibals first taste of Christianity
- A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west... He growls, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
- A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west and shouts, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa!"
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Old West One Liners
Which old west one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with old west? I can suggest the ones about old cowboy and country western.
- Why are there no hand paintings from the old west? Because they could only draw guns.
- Who celebrated his Bar Mitzvah in the Old West? Billy the y**....
Cheeky Old West Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about old west you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean east west jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make old west pranks.
A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear
The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"
The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."
Tribal Wisdom
So a cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself "Wagon...two gray horses...two passengers, man and woman...man driving" The cowboy goes "Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?" The Indian replies "No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over."
A preacher rides into a town in the old west...
As he's riding into town, his horse keeps stumbling around the street. The reins are finally grabbed by the Sheriff, who says, "This stallion okay?"
The preacher says, "Yes. We passed through a patch of p**... and he ate some. But that aside, I come to tell you of God's good word, to help you worthless, sinful heathens to-"
The Sheriff shakes his head, struggling to hold the animal still, and says "Now before you go preaching to us, why don't you get off your high horse."
Did you hear about the three-legged dog who limped into the saloon in a town in the old west?
He was lookin' for the varmints who shot his paw.
I'm getting one of the first covid shots
I got choosen to receive one of the first covid vaccines shots. Since I'm 78yo old Vietnam veteran. I said, "Can I get it in my left arm". They said sure. I said Well good, it got blown off in Vietnam in 68, can you bring me back my West Point ring while your over there.
Edit for grammar.
An old man's dream
"I dream to be the president of USA just like my school friend." an old man said.
"Who is your friend , Biden or Trump ?"
"Neither. His name is Kanye West"
"But he is not the president of USA"
"Correct, he dreams to become the president."
I had a dream the other night
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right.
The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the other door and jumps onto the other horse.
Just before he rode off, I yelled out, "What was all that about?"
He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."
A Cowboy and an Indian
A grizzled old Cowboy and his Indian brave partner are tracking an infamous gang of buffalo rustlers through the wild west. The Cowboy stops and exhales gruffly, thinking they've lost the bandits' trail. The Indian holds up a finger to the wind. Then leans down as if listening to the earth.
He puts his ear to the ground and says "Buffalo come".
"Sheeit how dya you know that?" says the Cowboy.
The Indian brave replies, "Ear Sticky".
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
Old joke from East Germany.
Three guys work at a factory:
1st guy comes 5 minutes too late for work. Gets arrested for sabotage.
2nd guy comes 5 minutes too early for work. Gets arrested for espionage.
3rd guy comes to work on time. Gets arrested for possessing a West-Uhr. (a watch from the west)
What's the definition of a v**... in West Virginia
A 16 year old girl who can still outrun her brothers
How do you find a v**... in West Virginia?
Find a girl who can still run faster than her 12 year-old brother.
There was time in the old west
A dog with three legs walks into a saloon, he slams open the doors, looks around at the startled patrons and asks, "Anyone seen my PAW?"
Canadian Gunslingers
Why were there no gunslingers in the Canadian Old West?
I don't know but it couldn't of been because of their mittens.
An outlaw walks into a saloon in the old wild West, wearing a candy bar for a hat.
Says the bartender, "Is that an Almond Joy on your head?"
Quoth he, "No, it's a Bounty."
A dog with his arm in a sling walks into a bar in the old west
He sits down and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
Star Wars X-Wing pilot
"my navigation and targeting drone keeps making bad puns about the old west.. I guess I shouldn't have gone with an RD-R2"
What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?
Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes
