Old Testament Jokes
21 old testament jokes and hilarious old testament puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about old testament that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Old Testament Short Jokes
Short old testament jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The old testament humour may include short hebrew bible jokes also.
- An English teacher asked their students: "Of all the characters in the Old Testament, who do you think is the most developed?" A student responded, "Noah, because he has the largest story Ark."
- My Sunday School teacher is so old... .. when the New Testament came out she said "I don't care for the new curriculum."
- Why do Jews only read the Old Testament? Because they're too cheap to buy the new! *ba-dum-tss*
- Wicked people in the Old Testament didn't drink milk We know this because the wicked were always visited with utter destruction.
- What's the difference between Canadian baseball and an old testament drug dealer? ... One has the Blue Jays in it, the other has the Jews blazin' it.
- What do you get if you combine the old testament, the new testament and Swiss cheese? The Holey Bible.
- Recent changes in US laws Recent changes in US laws have finally allowed people to legally follow certain Old Testament laws like, "If a man lies with another man, he shall be s**...."
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Old Testament One Liners
Which old testament one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with old testament? I can suggest the ones about new testament and bible.
- What do Jews and metalheads have in common? Both like the old Testament.
- someone tore an entire book out of my bible! my old testament is ruthless
- why does the old testament have so many prophets? because jews made it
- What do you call a shiba in the old testament Bethshiba
- what do computers & old testament gods have in common Lots of rules and no mercy
- Old testament god is a bit like h**... But god succeeded in wiping out a population.
Cheerful Old Testament Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about old testament you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christian bible jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make old testament pranks.
George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....
.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.
He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one more time he asks, "Sir, I don't see the need to lie to me; are you Moses?" Once again, a back and forth shaking of his head. Bush tells his security detail to interrogate him.
His lead security agent asks the man in complete confidence, "The beard, the cloak, the staff, the wrinkled skin... you look exactly like Moses." Moses replies, "Because I am."
Confused, the security agent asks, "Why didn't you just tell the president that then? What harm could it have caused?" As a matter of factly, Moses replies, "The last time I talked to a Bush, I was stranded in a desert for 40 years."
"Hey Joe, I heard your mother-in-law died!"
"Well yes, that's true, Bob."
"What'd she have?"
"Just a small amount of money and a lot of old books"
"No, I mean, what was wrong?"
"Well, she hadn't written her will and testament yet."
"Not that! I mean, how'd she die?
"Ooh... Well, we were having dinner at her place, she went to the basement to get some potatoes, she fell down, and she broke her neck."
"Ouch. And what did you do when that happened?"
"We got pizzas."