Old Soul Jokes
9 old soul jokes and hilarious old soul puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about old soul that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Old Soul Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good old soul joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
First dirty joke my dad told me, it's about 30 years old and I still tell it.
What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?
The lady in church has hope in her soul.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have an old soul, the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child and the body of a stripper.
And that completes my basement collection of human body parts.
My old Dark Souls "joke".
Don't you guys find it funny, how Lord Gwyn both failed and succeded in keeping Priscilla out of the picture?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old timers were talking after church one day and the one asks the other, "So tell me brother, what did you think of the soul food this morning?" The other replies, "The food was excellent but the service s**...!"
In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "
if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul."
I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening."
The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life."
I have asked her only: "for my money?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asked me to have s**... with her
I was at the shopping mall yesterday and met this 21-year-old girl who was a laundry detergent promoter. She told me she would have s**... with me if I advertised her product to all my friends and contacts.
I was sadly amazed and obviously did not accept her offer because I am much older than her and I have strong moral principles and a clean soul.
A very clean soul... almost as clean as your laundry after being washed with the new AXON liquid detergent, super strong, coming with vanilla and lemon flavors for only $4.99.
A meeting at the Pearly Gates
St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?"
"Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?"
"Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven."
"Sounds easy enough. OK."
So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to sit down and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, "What did you do for a living?"
The old man replied, "I was a carpenter."
Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you have any family?" he asked.
"Yes, I had a son, but I lost him."
Jesus leaned forward some more. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?"
"Well, he had holes in his hands and feet."
Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, "Father?"
The old man leaned forward and whispered, "Pinocchio?"
the greenhorn
A greenhorn comes from back east to try his hand at prospecting. He buys his gear and heads off into the hills. He has a couple of lonely weeks, with a little bit of success finding gold.
He's sitting by his campfire one evening when this crusty old prospector shows up and says "Howdy there, neighbor. My spot's just over the hill there. I wanted to invite you a party."
Greenhorn: "That sounds wonderful! I haven't seen a soul in weeks!"
Prospector: "I got to warn ya though...there's likely to be some dancin'!"
Greenhorn: "I love to trip the light fantastic! I'll bring my dancing shoes."
Prospector: "I got to warn ya...there'll be drinkin'!"
Greenhorn: "Oh, don't worry, I can hold my liquor."
Prospector: "There's likely to be some fiightin'."
Greenhorn: "I'm not inexperienced when it comes to fisticuffs!"
Prospector: "There'll be ... fornication."
Greenhorn: "Well...it is the Wild West...and I have not seen a lady in quite some time."
The prospector nods gruffly to himself and begins to leave. The greenhorn says, "Say, what should I wear to this soiree?"
The prospector pauses and says, "Oh, any old thing...it'll just be you and me."
An old archaeologist is studying late in his museum
He rubs an old lamp and *pooof!* a genie appears.
- Old man, all your life was dedicated to study my culture. To thank you, you can choose one between three wishes : The eternal youth, the neverending wealth or the greatest wisdom of mankind.
- It seems legit. The youth, i know it. I don't need money. I so choose the wisdom.
- So be it. Let the wisdom of all our intellectuals submerges your soul.
The archaeologist feels his brain going faster ... and faster. After a few seconds he looks at his shoes and whispers :
- I'm such an idiot!
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