Old Momma Jokes

75 old momma jokes and hilarious old momma puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about old momma that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Old Momma Short Jokes

Short old momma jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The old momma humour may include short old mom jokes also.

  1. Your momma so old… You should call her and check in. Just say hello. Tell her you love her.
  2. Yo Momma jokes aren't funny... They're all old and have already been done by thousands of people. Just like yo momma.
  3. Yo momma so ugly... That even Bob the builder said he can't fix it.
    Credit to my 8 year old nephew.
  4. Young Bubba run up to his Mum and says, Momma, momma... At skool today, in the toilets, I learnt I got the biggest pee pee in fifth grade.
    That's nice Bubba, she says, but you are 26 years old.
  5. Yo momma so old... ...when electricity was invented she was already 3 months due on the bill
  6. Yo' momma's so old Her birth certificate expired.
    I thought of this one a while ago. If it already exists, tell me.
  7. Yo momma's so old, her first job was as Cain and Abel's baby-sitter.
  8. Yo momma's so old, she left her purse on Noah's Ark.
  9. Yo momma is so old, her birth certificate says "EXPIRED."
  10. Yo momma's so old, she was told to act her own age, and she died.

Share These Old Momma Jokes With Friends

Old Momma One Liners

Which old momma one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with old momma? I can suggest the ones about old mama and old grandma.

  1. Yo momma so old... She pre-ordered the bible
  2. Yo Momma so Old Her social security number is 3.
  3. Yo momma is so old.. The Dead Sea was only sick.
  4. Yo Momma so old, God was her first boyfriend.
  5. Yo Momma is So Fat and Old The last time she went skydiving the dinosaurs went extinct.
  6. Yo momma's so old, when she was young, rainbows were black and white.
  7. Yo momma's so old, that when God said, "Let there be light," she had to flip the switch!
  8. Yo momma's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
  9. Yo momma is so old she knew the Burger King when he was still a prince.
  10. Yo momma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
  11. Your momma is so old when her breast milk comes out it's powder.
  12. Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
  13. Yo momma is so old God was her first boyfriend.
  14. Yo momma is so old that on her birth certificate it said expired on it.
  15. Yo momma's so old, when Moses parted the Red Sea, she was on the other side fishing.

Uproarious Old Momma Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about old momma you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean old granny jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make old momma pranks.

Your momma is so old she has an autographed copy of the Bible.

Yo momma's so old, they had to take her t**... to the natural history museum to find out what period it came from.

Yo momma's so old, her first car was a Model T-Rex.

Yo momma is so old she sat next to Moses in preschool.

Yo momma so old, when we watched Jurrasic Park she started having flashbacks.

Yo momma's so old, she sat in front of Jesus in first grade.

Yo momma's so s**..., she cooks Indian curry with Old Spice.

Yo momma's so old, she still owes Moses a dollar.

Yo momma's so old, when I asked for her ID, she handed me a rock

Yo momma's so old, the fire department is on standby when you light her birthday cake.

Yo momma's so old, she has Roman Numerals on her birth certificate.

Yo momma's so old, she farts out mummy dust.

Yo momma's so fat and old, when Moses wanted to part the Red Sea, he told her to do a cannon ball.

Yo momma's so smelly, an old blind g**... walking by asked her, "Yo, how much for the shrimp platter?"

Yo momma's so old, she got the first copy of the Ten Commandments.

Seven year old Lebron was in English class, when his teacher asked him to use dictate in a sentence. So he says,
"Lass night I heard Daddy askin' Momma, 'how do my dictate?'"

YO momma is so old, I slit her t**... and dust came out!

Yo Momma soooo old she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket!

Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!

Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.

Old joke about tomato's, still makes me chuckle a bit though.

Three tomato's are walking down the street, momma tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind, daddy tomato gets angry turns around and squishes baby tomato and says.......ketchup.

A r**... family was visiting the city...

...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."

Yo mommas so old...

She sees Dr. Grant.

Yo momma is so fat and old...

When she f**... it created the universe

Yo momma's so old....

....that her birthday expired. I also saw with her a copy of the Bible, signed personally by Jesus.

This old man was reminiscing about the good old days...

When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the corner store with a dollar, and I'd come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a box of tea, and a half a dozen eggs.
You can't do that now.
Too many f**...' security cameras.

Your momma so old...

powdered milk comes out her n**....

Your momma'a so old...

When she was born the calendar just said "one."

Your momma is so old...

Her discman only has 15 second anti-skip.

Yo momma is so old...

she's half Neanderthal.

Your momma's so old...

...her hair and makeup guy is a mortician.

[Pokémon OC] Yo momma is so old...

Her starters were kabuto, omanyte, and aerodactyl!

Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, s**... and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of time

Just like yo mamma

Can we ban yo momma jokes in this sub? They old, s**... and been done by like literally everyone a thousand times

Just like yo momma

Bible lesson

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages.
"Momma, look what I found." the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered.
"It's Adam's suit!"

jokes about old momma